Written on:May 1, 2017
Comments
Add One

Friends S3:E23 – Hey there, Friendinistas. What’s a koondis with you? Welcome to Week 15 of the resistance. I hope this message finds you well. Our feckless would-be Supreme Leader just celebrated the completion of his first 100 days in office by holding a 2016 campaign rally in Harrisburg, VA at the exact same time he should have been in the audience at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner listening to Hasan Minhaj channel a Michelin Star chef by expertly roasting him like the chicken Ala orange he is, was, and always will be. But enough about our Complainer-In-Chief. We’ll have plenty of time (here at theLeftAhead) to devote to him over the summer after we wrap up the third installment of Friends 20/20 and the fifth installment of Black & Silver. Speaking of Black & Silver and the San Antonio Spurs, our offices have been awfully quiet around here these last couple of weeks as Ted James (your Editor-In-Chief and my boss) has been dutifully blogging away about the 2017 NBA Playoffs from the recesses of his underground bunker rather than writing his Spurs column from here. More power to him but, unfortunately for you, this provides me with a rare opportunity to mail in my assignment this morning, hightail it out of here by noon, and be on a hiking trail somewhere in the foothills of the Rockies by 2:00 pm. Considering that I put a lot of time and effort into the last three posts in the series (or what I’m now dubbing The Chick and The Duck Trilogy), I think I’ve earned the right to half-ass this one. I mean, they can’t all be masterpieces, people. Plus, if you know me (and I think you do) you know that at this time of year I start jonesing hard for my summer vacation. Since this is the third to last post of the third seasons of Friends, I promise I will bring my A game again for the last two and finish up strong. For now, though, I’m off to get in touch with my inner-Guru Saj. In other words, I’m going to go find some weird plants in the mountains, rub them on myself, and see if they give me a rash. And that’s what’s a koondis with me. Also, Go Spurs Go! Catch you next week.

Recap in the Key of Phoebe – This is the one where Ross has a run-of-the mill “third nipple,” Phoebe plays the field dating two guys at once, Joey discovers Pete’s checkbook and tells Monica he wrote a huge check to a ring designer, Monica also finds out Pete has big news to tell her which (coupled with the ring designer discovery) makes her suspect he’s going to ask her to marry him, Rachel thinks Monica should have a money-themed wedding, Chandler gets scolded by Phoebe’s firefighting boyfriend about fire safety, and Guru Saj accidentally slices off Ross’ “third nipple” with his watch and thereby answers the question, “What’s a koondis with you?”

Gandalf Gaffes – None. Flawless episode!

Chan Man Quip of the Week – [The Setup] Joey and Chandler are at home playing with the Chick and the Duck. Ross walks in and asked them to do him a favor by checking out something weird on his body. When Joey and Chandler express hesitation, Ross pleads, “Come on you guys, it’s no big deal!” He starts pulling down his pants and shows something to Joey and Chandler that’s near his derrière. After glancing at it, Chandler makes a “whoa-eeeeeyyy” noise before confusingly muttering, “huh.” Concerned, Ross asks, “Well what is it? Is it a mole?” Joey answers, “No, it’s too wrinkly to be a mole.” Even more freaked out, Ross asks again, “Well, eww. What? Is it a pimple?” This time, Chandler answers, informing him, ” No, it’s… fancier than a pimple. Look Ross, why don’t you just go see a…” At this point Rachel walks in the apartment which startles Chandler and makes him stop mid-sentence. Rachel starts to ask a question but then stops after looking in on the peculiar scene of Ross standing with his pants pulled down while Joey and Chandler are peering over him. She looks perplexed which causes an awkward silence. [The Knockout] Finally, to break the palpable tension in the air, Chandler jokes, “Okay, well, it’s definite, two more weeks of winter.”

#TheChickAndTheDuck


Featured Image Source: @FriendsReruns on Twitter

Headline Image Source: Daily Echol


Tres Triunfos

Written on:April 26, 2017

Let It Be – When I find myself in times of trouble, Manu Ginobili comes to me, bringing that grandpa juice, let it be. Welcome to the 2017 NBA Playoffs, Manu. In all sincerity, it really just wasn’t the same without you. I had a sneaking suspicion all day yesterday, as I nervously awaited tip off, that you would arrive in Game 5. Because of this hunch, there was no…

Read more...

Dos Derrotas

Written on:April 24, 2017

Heroes – Congratulations are in order for the city of Memphis. What a hard fought victory. In particular, congratulations are in order for Marc Gasol. What an incredible shot. Put more succinctly, what a heroic shot. With the weight of the entire Grit-N-Grind era of Memphis Grizzlies basketball quite literally hanging in the balance, Pau’s little bro aka Big Spain found the soft touch to deliver one of the biggest…

Read more...

Idiot!

Written on:April 24, 2017

Friends S3:E22 – Okay, okay, everyone settle down and take your seats. Look, I know you’re all all very anxious to get your grades back on the homework assignment but we’re going to do that at the end of class. Come on…I wasn’t born yesterday. First, we’ll do today’s lesson. Then, you get your papers back. If we do it the other way around, many of you will be so…

Read more...

Uno Derrota

Written on:April 22, 2017

HUMBLE. – If the last six months have taught us anything, it’s that whining can take you a long way in Donald Trump’s America. Case in point, Memphis Grizzlies head coach David Fizdale. Congratulations, Fizzy. Whining has now earned you a playoff victory against the San Antonio Spurs. In the least surprising development of the 2017 playoffs, to date, Memphis defeated San Antonio 105-94 on Thursday night to close the…

Read more...

Dos Triunfos

Written on:April 19, 2017

Good – What are we talking about? Data? We’re talking about data, man. We’re talking about data. We’re talking about data. We ain’t talking about the game. We’re talking about data, man. Different bat time, different bat channel, same bat story. The San Antonio Spurs have now defeated the Memphis Grizzlies an impressive ten straight times in the postseason after vanquishing our division rival 96-82 in Game 2 of the…

Read more...

The Chick and The Duck

Written on:April 17, 2017

Friends S3:E21 – Welcome back, girls and boys. I hope everyone enjoyed our week off and more importantly, I hope everyone took that extra time to really apply yourselves to putting forward your best effort on the homework assignment. Go ahead and pass your papers to the front, class. Let’s see what we have here. That means you too, Johnny. No more monkey business. Just because you’re sitting in the…

Read more...

Uno Triunfo

Written on:April 16, 2017

Forever – Last name EVER, first name GREATEST, like a sprained ankle, boy, that Black & Silver franchise ain’t nothin’ to play with. Wasn’t this whole thing supposed to have ended six years ago? I mean, I listened to the “experts” back then. When the San Antonio Spurs failed to advance to the conference finals for three consecutive seasons, starting in 2009, the “experts” told us the dynasty was dead….

Read more...

Mona Haydar – Hijabi

Written on:April 9, 2017

“Covered up or not don’t ever take us for granted.”       Mona Haydar – Hijabi Verse One: What that hair look like Bet that hair look nice Don’t that make you sweat? Don’t that feel too tight? Yo what yo hair look like Bet yo hair look nice How long your hair is You need to get yo life You only see Oriental You steady working that dental…

Read more...

Kendrick Lamar – HUMBLE.

Written on:April 5, 2017

“This that Grey Poupon, that Evian, that TED Talk…”       Kendrick Lamar – HUMBLE. Verse One: Ayy, I remember syrup sandwiches and crime allowances Finesse a nigga with some counterfeits But now I’m countin’ this Parmesan where my accountant lives In fact, I’m downin’ this D’USSÉ with my boo bae, tastes like Kool-Aid for the analysts Girl, I can buy yo’ ass the world with my paystub Ooh,…

Read more...

The House of No Imagination

Written on:April 3, 2017

Friends S3:E20 – Good day, gals and guys. How’s everyone living out there on this beautiful afternoon? Holy moly, I hope the weather is as nice where you are as it is here (in my undisclosed location). Don’t you just love Spring? Where is my undisclosed location? Let’s just say I’m on the road again and on assignment for a super secret surprise project. Therefore, (you know what’s coming next)…

Read more...

Relax

Written on:March 27, 2017

Friends S3:E19 – Oh mommy, oh daddy, I am a big old baddie! Oh mommy, oh daddy, I am a big old baddie!. Nation of Friends: What. Is. Up? Happy Monday! And what a Monday it is. The Affordable Care Act aka Obamacare is still the law of the land, I finally got to watch Rogue One (excellent) over the weekend after having had the misfortune of squandering multiple chances…

Read more...