The Listening Side of the Wall
Season 10, Episode 1
Friends S10:E1 - Y’all. Can you believe it? We are finally here. We have arrived at the beginning of the tenth leg of our ten leg journey together. When we set out down this road on that Monday night in late-September 2014, I remember a young, ambitious Kenneth Bryan Adams (past me <yes, my middle name is Bryan…leave me alone>) posting the first entry calling OUR shot then immediately trying to conceptualize the challenge he had put forth for himself (writing 236 blog posts, one on the 20-year anniversary of the first airing of each episode of Friends) and thinking, “Well, that seems a little daunting. Am I crazy? What have I just done?” In retrospect, it was an appropriate but drastically understated reaction. That young whippersnapper had no idea what he was getting US into. As god is my witness, (past me) Kenny boy, you really screwed us six ways to Sunday on this one. Did you have any idea what you were committing us to or even pause for one second that infamous night to consider the ramifications of what signing US up for decade of unnecessary strict deadlines would have on OUR personal life? I can’t tell you the number of Sunday afternoons I lived through these last nine years where the anxiety starts creeping in that another Friends 20/20 blog post is due tomorrow like clockwork around 1pm and so maybe I should interrupt my weekend leisure time and start working on it so I don’t have to spend Monday stressed out about frantically trying to meet my deadline. (Past me) Kenny, you ignorant fool, you needlessly but quite officially ruined “Sunday Funday” for US for an entire tenth of a century. Nice going…I hope you’re proud of ourself.
Of course, you (the readers) might ask why I didn’t at some point just distance myself from young Kenny’s foolishness, retract his Friends 20/20 commitment, and move on with enjoying my Sundays and posting content to the site whenever I damn well please by eliminating his self-imposed deadlines from my work. Well, loyal readers, I have my reasons. They are threefold. 1) Ted James (my editor) loved the concept for the blog series as soon as young Kenny posted the first entry and I’m sure if you don’t know, you can certainly imagine how annoying editors can be once they’ve got their hooks in a project. Editors are a rare form of pestering, petty, pitiful human. (Don’t worry, there is very little chance Mr. James is actually going to read this but you can bet your bottom dollar that the first thing he will do tomorrow morning is log into the site and make sure it was posted on time.) 2) Honestly, reaching this milestone of the tenth leg of this ten leg race is a testament to my exorbitant personal hubris more than anything else. Snot-nosed (past me) Kenny had no idea what he was doing when he called OUR shot but it was indeed OUR shot he was calling and ergo I was not going to ever concede that it was too hard or admit that I couldn’t summon the inner fortitude to meet the challenge. When I put my mind to something, I always follow through. 3) Most importantly, though, I didn’t want to let you (the loyal readers) down. Hey you. I really appreciate all of your support. I love commiserating with you on our shared love of Friends and I’m tickled to death that you find my writing entertaining enough to keep coming back week after week. In other words, (Everything I Do) I Do It For You. (You get one. That’s the only one you get.) On that note, saddle up. By hook or crook, here we are barreling ahead into the last leg of the race. Let’s sprint through the tape but also, let’s make our remaining time together count. Among other things, we’ve got a juicy “Joey & Rachel” plot development to discuss. Let’s dive into this week’s episode already. Shall we?
Well, for starters, you can put me firmly in the “I am not feeling this Joey & Rachel romantic storyline” camp. It felt contrived, forced, unnatural, etc. etc. The writers were obviously swinging for the fences with the Season 9 finale ending with Joey and Rachel kissing but it was a huge swing and a miss for the third out down three with the bases loaded for me. Of course, I’m sure that was the case for most Friends fans who were already hopelessly invested in having Ross and Rachel end up together. I know the writers knew this about the show’s fanbase and were merely setting up another in the long line of obstacles in the way of an inevitable R&R redemption climax but using Joey as one of those obstacles just landed for me as lazy attempt at shock value in closing out Season 9 and it consequently resulted in us starting the tenth and final season with an arch that let’s face it felt closer to incestuous than exciting or endearing. On that note, moving on… Chandler was on a role with zingers during today’s episode, a lot of them field by his hilarious disdain for Monica’s seashell braids. It’s going to be exceptionally hard to choose a winner of the Chan Man Quip of the Week today but that’s the beauty of episodes in which Chandler M. Bing is on this much of a heater: we’ve got plenty to choose from and when that’s the case, we can’t go wrong. (Side note: at least my middle name isn’t Muriel.) Finally, I was really tickled with how Phoebe handled the whole Precious situation. That was a moment of pure comedy gold. On that note, it’s good to be back but it’s even better to be so close to being gone. Since I know you don’t ever want to see me go, I’m very sorry about that and I wish you the best of luck in all your endeavors (including reading the following recap).
Recap in the Key of Phoebe - This is the one where Joey and Rachel try to figure out how to tell Ross about their kiss so they can keep kissing, Ross actually does tell Joey about his kiss with Charlie and is relieved when Joey tells him it’s okay so he and Charlie can keep kissing and in return he tells Joey that he might edge out Chandler, Mike tells Phoebe he’s been kissing Precious while they’ve been broken up, Phoebe tells Precious that her and Mike will no longer be kissing, Chandler is repulsed by the idea of kissing Allen Iverson, and Monica French kisses mouthful of her own hair when she is too loud on the listening side of the wall.
Gandalf Gaffes - None. Flawless episode!
Chan Man Quip of the Week - [The Setup] Phoebe is in Monica and Chandler’s hotel room in Barbados monitoring the activity in the adjoining rooms on both sides after they have discovered that Ross is hooking up with Charlie on one side and Joey is hooking up with Rachel on the other side from the noise permeating through the unusually thin walls. As they are listening intently, Chandler asks the others, “Anything?” Monica, monitoring the Joey and Charlie wall, responds, “I think I hear curtains closing” and then Phoebe, monitoring the Joey and Rachel wall, exuberantly adds, “We’ve got shoes being kicked off over here.” Monica reports back again, “Bedspring, unmistakeable!” At this point Chandler interjects somewhat disgustedly, “You do realize that’s your brother?” Monica admits, “Not until you just said it” and demands, “somebody switch!” Phoebe obliges and goes over to the Ross and Charlie wall so Monica can stop listening to her brother’s romantic encounter by scurrying over to the Joey and Rachel wall. When Monica gets to the other wall, she looks at Chandler as it dawns on her, “Wait a minute... Ross and Charlie, Joey and Rachel, Phoebe and Mike! We're the only people leaving with the same person we came with.” [The Knockout] Still completely turned off by the volume and frizziness of Monica’s hair in the Barbados humidity, Chandler fires back, “That's not true. I came with Monica and I'm leaving with Weird Al."
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Nomaste
Season 8, Episode 3
Friends S8:E3 - Happy Indigenous People's Day, Friends Nation ✊ Let me say up front that since today is a holiday, we are going to keep our proceedings this afternoon short and sweet. That's right...you better believe it. Reminiscent of the magic of the Holiday Armadillo, today I bring to you another installment of the Holiday Mail-In Special 💌 Never fear. When it comes to Holiday Mail-In Specials, I'm as dependable as Rivers Cuomo. That being the case, I'll have you in and out of here quick but we have a couple of important anecdotes from today's episode that we must do due diligence and highlight really quick. First, we must enter it into the formal record that today's episode was heavily changed after the events of 9/11. Originally in this episode, Monica and Chandler were supposed to get detained at the airport after Chandler makes a joke about bombs. Obviously, with this episode set to air a mere month after the attacks on the World Trade Center and Pentagon, the writer's made the right call in re-writing this episode. Given the stress our nation was under at the time, Chandler's joke about bomb threats would have been about the worst Chan Man Quip of the Week imaginable. Secondly, we discover in this episode that Ross does yoga in a class with Mr. Treeger. Nothing super significant to break down about that, I just find it amusing picturing Ross and Treeger assisting each other with a Downward-Facing Dog pose. I mean, that's a lovely, hilarious image that is providing me some much-needed tranquility on this holiday afternoon so on that calming note: go outside, enjoy the fresh air and have a great rest of your Holiday Mail-In Special Monday, class. See you back here next week. Nomaste 🙏
Recap in the Key of Phoebe - This is the one where Rachel tells Ross that she is pregnant and he's the father, Monica and Chandler become frustrated when another couple also on their honeymoon keeps beating them to getting free upgrades and perks from the airline and hotel, Phoebe and Joey make up that they smell a gas leak in order to get into Monica and Chandler's apartment while they are gone on their honeymoon, and after Ross becomes indignant as a consumer when he discovers that condoms are only effective 97 percent of the time he finally comes around to letting Rachel know he will be there with her through the pregnancy perhaps having the calm of his yoga helping him to get over himself and center his priorities. Nomaste!
Gandalf Gaffes - None. Flawless episode!
Chan Man Quip of the Week - [The Setup] Chandler is embarrassed that Monica is being overly affectionate at the airline counter in order to demonstrate that they are in their honeymoon in hopes of getting upgraded to first class like the couple in line before them (who were also on their honeymoon). When they are next in line approaching the counter, Monica commands Chandler, "Grab my ass!" The ticket agent says, "Next." They approach the counter arm in arm and Monica informs the ticket agent, "Hi, sorry. I almost didn’t hear you, because ya know...I’m just so in love with my new husband. We’re on our honeymoon." The ticket agent responds, "Congratulations. Okay, Mr. Bing you’ll be in 25J and Mrs. Bing you’ll be in 25K." Caught off guard that they were being issued their original coach seats, Monica interjects, "Oh no, you see we’re on our honeymoon. So umm, can you do your little thing and bump us up to first class?" The ticket agent responds, "I’m sorry, all our first class seats are taken. That couple got the last two." Turning to Chandler in frustration, Monica barks at him, "You see, if we’d gone around them like I said, we—She would’ve given us those tickets. Damnit!" [The Knockout] Needing an outlet for his embarrassment of how his new bride is behaving, Chandler turns directly to the ticket agent and asks, "25J and K, any chance those aren’t together?"
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I'm Gonna Have a Baby
Season 8, Episode 1
Friends S8:E1 - What is good, Friends 20/20 Nation? It is so weird to back in class but also kind of cool. How was everyone's summer? I know the summer started with so much promise with the vaccine roll out and a short-period where it felt like things were getting back to normal. I remember how exciting it was back in May (as we were just wrapping up Season Seven) to finally be vaccinated and getting to experience things like hanging out with friends and visiting restaurants again. The way the summer started was such a breath of fresh air. But, of course, here in America we just can't seem to have nice things. As the summer rolled on and the Delta variant started to rage due to so many science-rejecting anti-vaxxer morons living amongst us...it started to become clear that the good times earlier this summer were just a fleeting moment in time and unfortunately not the beginning of the end of the pandemic. So here we are bracing ourselves for more pandemic pain this fall but on the bright side, at least we're in a better place than we were last fall with the pandemic. And while this summer didn't ultimately fulfill all of the promise that it started with, there was still a lot of positives to reflect back on and be thankful about. For instance, I was able to make it down to my undisclosed beach location during my summer break before concerns of the Delta variant started to dissuade travel. I can also report on behalf of theLeftAhead that my editor Ted James both dropped a new track and also thread the needle on safely and successfully booking and taking an international trip to Scotland this summer before the Delta variant reared its ugly head. Finally, and most relevant to our purposes here...the long-rumored and COVID-delayed Friends: The Reunion was finally released on May 27th on HBO Max! Since our last convening as a class for Season 7 was ten days earlier on May 17th, 2021, incredibly, this is our first opportunity to discuss the reunion (aka the biggest Friends pop culture event to occur during the seven years we've been doing Friends 20/20) as a group. I thought the reunion was excellent, so well put together and such a heart-warming trip down memory lane. There is so much to dissect from the reunion special that, rather than try to dive all the way in today, I thought we could better give it the attention it deserves by discussing it weekly throughout our semester this fall by weaving it into our ongoing discussion of Season 8. Does that sound good with everyone? Alright, great...then it's settled. More about the reunion special next week and throughout the fall.For now, let's turn our attention to the aftermath of the big reveal from the Season Seven cliff hanger: Rachel is pregnant. If you remember, we as an audience were filled into the news as the camera zoomed in on Rachel at the end of the Season 7 finale. Now, as we begin Season 8 at the bridal party photo session at Monica and Chandler's reception, we get to enjoy watching Phoebe and then Monica learn the news that we had just spent an entire summer digesting. After Monica denies being pregnant, Phoebe realizes that Rachel is and tries to cover for her by suggesting she is the one that is pregnant and that James Brolin is the father. This ruse doesn't last long. Monica quickly figures it out that Rachel is pregnant when she observes Rachel spitting champagne back into her glass. After Phoebe suggests that Rachel should take a second test to be sure that she is in fact pregnant (and not a mistake), Monica insist that Rachel take the test right away at the reception as a wedding gift to her. After Rachel agrees and takes the test, Phoebe reports that the test is negative which elicits a strong emotional reaction of disappointment in Rachel. We quickly learn that Phoebe was playing a "risky little game" by lying to Rachel about the negative result in order to figure out how Rachel really feels about being pregnant. Knowing now that Rachel really wants to have the baby and is in fact pregnant sets up one of the sweetest moments in series history as Monica and Phoebe share in Rachel's joy. Of course the question Monica and Phoebe along with us in the audience are dying to know is, "Who is the father?" And that, class, is a reveal to be left for another day. For now, no better way to rap up than to bask in the joy of that moment between Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe. It's good to be back and also to have Friends: The Reunion to chew on this fall but as you know, I'm the type of professor that likes to ease back in to a new semester. That being the case, class is now dismissed for today. See you next week.
Recap in the Key of Phoebe - This is the one where everyone thinks Monica is pregnant on her and Chandler's wedding day until Phoebe realizes that Rachel is pregnant but isn't ready to admit it yet so Phoebe claims that she is pregnant and makes up that James Brolin is the father, Chandler can't show off the new dance moves he wanted to surprise Monica with because his shoes are too slippery on the dance floor, Ross dances with all of the little girls at the wedding to impress Mona from Monica's restaurant, Joey gives a bizarre toast designed to demonstrate his range as an actor in order to impress Chandler's Mom's date Dennis Phillips with hopes of being cast in his new Broadway production, Monica discovers Rachel is the one that is pregnant when Rachel spits out champagne and asks Rachel to take another pregnancy test as her wedding gift, and when Rachel finds out that the test confirms that she is pregnant (after Phoebe plays a risky little game lying that the test was negative), Rachel declares, "I'm gonna have a baby."
Gandalf Gaffes - I went back and forth about adding this one to the list but in the end, I decided it needed to be documented even though it might seem a little nit picky. A size seven shoe is an unusually small shoe size for a grown adult male of Joey's height and weight. The idea that Joey actually had feet that unusually small and none of the friends (particularly Chandler) had ever noticed this about Joey seven full years into the series seems so preposterous, it needs to be documented as a Double G. Clearly the writer's were just adding this detail to the story line for this particular episode as an easy way to generate some jokes but all the same, it would have been impossible for Joey's friends to just be noticing this about him now at Monica and Chandler's wedding. (What? Is his identical foot guy a ten-year-old kid?) Furthermore, Matt LeBlanc's feet are visibly the normal size for an adult male of his height and weight further making it unreasonable to suggest that Joey's feet are that unusually small. Given that I've already acknowledged that this a a nit picky Gandalf Gaffe, this is a simple, minor a level one infraction.Gandalf Gaffe #28: Joey admits to Chandler that he has freakishly small feet (size 7) when Chandler discovers how small Joey's feet are during his and Monica's wedding. It would have been impossible for Joey to have had feet that small for an adult male of his size and feet and for none of his friends to notice for the first seven years of the series. This silly detail is also contradicted by video evidence throughout the series of the "normal" size of Matt LeBlanc's feet.
Chan Man Quip of the Week - [The Setup] Joey finds Chandler in the hallway of his and Monica's wedding reception practicing his dance moves on a floor where his shoes have traction. Right before Joey finds him, Chandler says to himself while finishing his dance moves, "And the world will never know." When Joey finds Chandler, he says, "hey" and then asks, "Did you talk to Dennis about me yet?" Chandler responds, "Yes, I told him how talented you were. I told him all about Days Of Our Lives." Panicking, Joey protests, " No, no! No! No! You don’t tell a Broadway guy that! Now he just thinks I’m a soap actor." [The Knockout] Clearly sensing an opportunity to pounce on what he had discovered about Joey earlier in the reception, Chandler unloads the sarcasm with, "But you’re not just a soap actor. You are a soap actor with freakishly tiny feet."
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Silly Putty
Season 7, Episode 19
Friends S7:E19 - [Long Pause] Say something clever! Okay, doesn’t have to be clever, it just has to be words. Say some words. Any words will do. Oh my God! This is the longest that anyone has not talked ever! There is nothing you can say to make this worse!! So just say something!! LOLOL.....Ross Geller, y'all!!! How's that for a tone setter? Thought y'all could use a pick me up since here we are again...back in our pandemic virtual classroom for what feels like that 500th week in a row. The good news is there's light at the end of the tunnel. If you haven't heard, President Biden has made all adults in the United States vaccine eligible as of today. We are on our way to safely opening back up so it's just a matter of time until I will be seeing your bright, shiny faces IRL again! Also, I'm just realizing that since we've been on hiatus the entire month of April so far, this is my first opportunity to report that ya guy Kenny Adams got his first dose of the Pfizer vaccine on Friday, April 2nd and I'm getting my second does this coming Friday! I'm beaming from ear to ear because I'm less than three weeks away from getting back out there amongst all of the people. Come on, y'all. Truly, happy days are here again.
When I saw that THIS was this week's episode, I've gotta tell ya, I was quite delighted (and also a little bit frightened). Oh the possibilities of creative ways to clown on one of the most "off the rails" episodes in series history. I mean, ayy, the Notorious RFG making a pass at his own freaking cousin is about as weird and icky a place as the FRIENDS writers dared to take a story line (maybe also in Fireball (S5:E10) when Danny the Yeti is bathing with his sister, but yah). Don't get me wrong, the awkward long pause when Ross is trying to figure out how to explain himself to his cousin after making his move and homie's accompanying inner monologue is, in my opinion, one of the funniest moments in series history so I understand that it took a messy situation for the writer's to serve up a moment that funny but still. Was that moment of pure comic bliss really worth it given that I could never, ever really look at Dr. Geller the same way again from the first time I watched this episode through the in perpetuity that is living in the Friends vortex? Tough call, y'all. Once a cousin romancer, always a cousin romancer. There's really no coming back from that. Then again, we also know from The Rossatron earlier this season (S7:E11) that Chandler used to undress his cousin Glenn so, IDK, maybe they're all just batshit incestuous? In Chandler's defense, at least he was a kid when he did it, not a grown ass man with a PhD that calls himself Bea and likes to drink tea. Anyway, who are we to judge? Let it be, let it be. Haters gonna hate. Ross gonna Ross, I guess. Ugh, I started out writing this paragraph excited (and a little nervous) but now I'm just sad and confused. Maybe that's a sign. Probably makes sense to just call it. I guess the moral of the story, class, is never, ever make a pass out your cousin. Not only can it blow up in your face but it might haunt you for the rest of your existence. And if you're a character on the GOAT television sitcom, you should especially think twice because "the rest of you existence" means infinity because you will live forever in the the vortex of your loyal fans. Kind of a bad episode for Monica's older brother, in the end. For anyone keeping score in the Ross Geller Is Trash Olympics, this is the episode where he earns his gold medal. Cue up the Star-Spangled Banner. Adams out.
Recap in the Key of Phoebe - This is the one where Joey is being considered for the lead in a movie but must prove that he is anatomically "not Jewish" in order to get the part, Chandler gets busted leering at Cassie (Monica's cousin) while she is in town visiting and staying with them which causes Monica to suggest that Cassie stay at Ross's apartment, Rachel and Phoebe plan Monica's bridal shower on short notice and forget to invite her to it, Ross freezes up trying to explain away making a sexual advance on his cousin Cassie (gross!!!) after she has switched from staying at Monica and Chandler's to his place, and Monica helps Joey create a "wrap" to help him appear to be anatomically "not Jewish" to the casting and movie director during his call back but the "wrap" falls off while Joey is naked show them his body because evidently Monica's double-sided tape wasn't strong enough to handle the weight of silly putty.
Gandalf Gaffes - None. Flawless episode!
Chan Man Quip of the Week - [The Setup] Monica and Chandler run into Ross at Central Perk after Monica busted Chandler leering at her cousin Cassie. Monica informs Ross, "Cassie needs to stay at your place." Ross asks, "What? why?" Monica answers, "Because Purvy Perverson over here can’t stop staring at her." Turning to Chandler, Ross suggests disapprovingly, "What? Chandler, she’s our cousin!" Attempting to defend himself, Chandler suggests, "I was not staring at her. Okay? I was just listening intently. It’s called being a good conversationalist. Watch." He proceeds to stare directly into Monica's eyes and then continues, "Say something." Unconvinced, Monica responds, "You were staring about eight inches south of there." Sidestepping Monica and Chandler's tiff, Ross answer Monica's request with, "Fine, she can stay at my place." He then asks, "By the way, what-what does Cassie even look like now?" Monica answers, "She looks exactly like Aunt Marilyn." [The Knockout] Brushing aside his concern for how much hot water he is in with Monica, the Chan Man lines up a zinger in the form of a questions with, "Umm, so this Aunt Marilyn is-is-is-is she coming to the wedding?"
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I'm a Medical Marvel
Season 7, Episode 13
Friends S7:E13 - Welp, it's official. As of today, this rotten pandemic has now touched every single possible month on the calendar. Tomorrow is Groundhog Day and I've gotta say...I think many of us now have a new found appreciation for what Phil Connors was going through in the movie after living the same quarantine day over and over again during this past year. On the bright side, February means we've inched another month closer to finally entering a post-pandemic world where we've mostly all been vaccinated and things can return to something approaching relative normalcy. At least there's hope on the horizon that our days of waking up at home, logging on to Zoom, having to listen to the Ned Ryersons of the world babble on and on and wanting to punch them in the face through the computer, eating dinner, and then scouring the streaming services for something new to binge watch before going back to sleep to repeat it all tomorrow are almost over. Soon there will be a day where we wake up and it's February 3rd. Please, please universe, make it real soon. We are all Earl the Office Manager and we need a break from Zoom. All kidding aside, this working from home talk is a good opportunity to reiterate our appreciation for the essential workers that don't have the privilege to work from home. Thank you all for everything you continue to do keep us all fed, healthy, and safe.That Earl the Office Manager reference is a good segue into breaking down today's episode. Earl, played by Jason Alexander, is a neat little cross-over from one of the other GOAT sitcoms. Overlapping in their series runs on the same network - NBC, it seemed inevitable that Seinfeld and Friends would find some crossover. Of course, Seinfeld fans know that the first instance of such a crossover happened pre-Friends in March 1994 (Friends debuted in September 1994). What is this first instance of Seinfeld-Friends crossover, you ask? It was Courtney Cox playing Jerry's girlfriend Meryl in the Seinfeld episode, The Wife (S5:E17). In the episode, Meryl pretends to be Jerry's wife in order to use his permanent discount at the dry cleaners. Pretty cool that just a few short months after her Seinfeld cameo, Courtney Cox would be playing Monica Geller full time. Of course, today's instance of crossover between the two shows happens a few years after Seinfeld ended its run in 1998. Nevertheless, I remember it being really exciting in 2001 to see Jason Alexander pop up for a cameo on an episode of Friends. Even though Earl the Office Manager wasn't much like George Costanza (Earl's beard and suicidal yearning being prime examples), it was pretty wild to watch George's "worlds collide" during his interactions with the world of Phoebe Buffay. A+ to casting this week for making some magic with one of the most revered sitcom actors of a generation.Moving on to other storylines in today's episode... the Rosita-Stevie the TV-Rachel-Joey-Chandler soap opera was hilarious. I've always felt a little bad for Chandler with this episode because he really does get screwed over. Rachel breaks a chair and Joey breaks a chair. Chandler has a legitimate claim to Rachel's new chair using the logic that he was the only one of the three of them not to break a chair. Chandler deserved justice but instead, there was none to be had when Rachel and Joey teamed up to form the Cobras and used there gang to intimidate him and squeeze him out of being a recliner-owner all together. It's rough out here in these streets, yo. Finally, it was really fantastic to watch Ross flip out when his dad gifted his Porsche to Monica. I'M A MEDICAL MARVEL will resonate throughout time as an iconic Ross Geller moment. Aight, y'all. I think that about wraps it up for today's happenings. I'll see you all next Monday which will be a copy of a copy of a copy of a copy of a copy of a copy of today. In the meantime, "Don't forget your booties cause it's cold out there. It's cold out there every day."
Recap in the Key of Phoebe - This is the one where Ross and Monica's parents are selling the house so the Geller kids come to visit to go through their childhood memories, Rachel offers to buy Joey a new chair after she tries to move Rosita and accidentally breaks her, Chandler later thinks he breaks Rosita and so he replaces her with his chair, Joey discovers that Rosita has been healed and declares it a miracle before becoming jealous of Rachel's new chair and breaking Chandler's chair so that he can have the new chair as originally intended, Phoebe starts selling toner as a telemarketer and tries to stop Earl the Office Manager (a customer) from killing himself, Rachel and Joey form a gang called the Cobras to screw Chandler in the chair situation even though both of them broke a chair, and Ross becomes irate when his dad gives Monica his Porsche as a gift even though he tell him, "I'm a medical marvel."
Gandalf Gaffes - None. Flawless episode!
Chan Man Quip of the Week - [The Setup] Phoebe, Chandler and Ross are at Central Perk. Ross and Joey are on the couch talking and Phoebe is getting coffee. Ross is musing about Monica and Chandler's upcoming wedding. He observes, "Hey, ya know what’s weird? After you guys get married, when you introduce me to people you’re gonna have to say, 'This is my brother-in-law Ross.' Not, 'My friend Ross,' 'brother-in-law Ross.' That’s weird isn’t it?" [The Knockout] Wasting no time to swat away Ross's annoying whimsical merriment, Chandler drops him off with a a good ole question answering a question quip, asking, "Couldn’t I just say, 'This is Ross?'"
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Last Time I Checked This Was Still America
Season 7, Episode 12
Friends S7:E12 - The last time I checked this was still America. What happened on Wednesday isn’t supposed to happen in this country. It is almost impossible to describe the emotions that were stirred up in me from the combination of the lack of surprise that this was the inevitable culmination of where Donald Trump had been leading the Republican Party for five years mixed with the utter disgust of seeing the visuals (particularly the Confederate flag being waved in the Capitol of the United State of America) but I'll try: burning anger, profound sadness, utter disgust. Here we are five days later and the shock of something that was so predictable is still surreal, the pain is still acute. Last time I checked this was America and insurrection is not something we are supposed to experience. I'm mean, Friends 20/20 is a blog series about a 90s/2000s sitcom, it's supposed to be fun, goofy, light-hearted, trivial but nevertheless since this blog series is also supposed to be topical, here I am writing about the same type of hate and horror that my father fought against in World War II except this time, that hate and hour is festering inside of our own country. I thought that the election of Joe Biden would allow me to steer this blog series back away from being a political vehicle to resist the absolute carnage that the Trump presidency has wielded on our democratic norms but, sadly, I guess charting that happier, more scenic course is still going to have to wait a bit longer. This is unbelievable.It would be easy to discount the perpetrators of Wednesday's insurrection as a fringe, extremist element that does not reflect the values of most of Donald Trump's voters. The last thing I want to say on this before we chalk this week's post up as an L and attempt to regroup during the break (we are off for the rest of the month until February 1st and I must say, given that Wednesday might have been the most traumatic day in America since September 11th, 2001...I'm going to greatly appreciate the time off to process this and reflect) is that the word that rang inside my head the most on Wednesday is complicity. WE HAVE KNOWN WHO donald trump IS ALL ALONG AND THERE IS NOT BEEN ONE ACCEPTABLE RATIONALIZATION FOR SUPPORTING HIM SINCE THE DAY HE ANNOUNCED HIS BID FOR THE WHITE HOUSE IN 2015. Sure, the insurrectionists are absolutely individually responsible for their actions on Wednesday but Senator Josh Hawley is complicit in the insurrection. Senator Ted Cruz is complicit in the insurrection. Senator Mitch McConnell, Senator Lindsay Graham, Representative Kevin McCarthy, every Republican elected official (including Liz Chaney and those that had the decency to at least turn on Trump in the eleventh hour) are all complicit. Guess what? IF YOU VOTED FOR donald trump IN 2020 YOU ARE COMPLICIT TOO. Even if you're a regular reader of theLeftAhead, sorry...if you voted for Trump in 2020, you're complicit. Own it. Sure, this is a time for healing and bringing the country together under Joe Biden's leadership but not without accountability. Accountability is paramount to ensuring that we don't see a repeat of this ever again in our beautiful country's future. 74,223,744 Americans are complicit in insurrection against our democracy and have some serious reflecting to do in order to walk themselves back to rejoining the rest of us in sharing the American value of decency again. I hope you all start getting to work. Lastly, big ups to Eugene Goodman, the Capitol Police officer who steered insurrectionists away from the Senate chamber where Vice President Pence and Senators were before they were evacuated. Officer Goodman's bravery and his ability to react under pressure during a crisis likely saved lives and is to be admired. Thank you, Officer Goodman. That's it. That's all I want to say today. See you in February. Peace.
Recap in the Key of Phoebe - This is the one where Phoebe battles her smoke detector, Rachel battles Tag over who dropped the ball with the mailing to Milan, Ross battles Joey on who is going to risk their life to get down from the roof, Chandler battles Monica on who can keep the other up when they are the one who can’t fall asleep, and the last time I checked this was still America.
Gandalf Gaffes - None. Flawless episode!
Chan Man Quip of the Week - [The Setup] Monica and Chandler are cuddling in bed after sleeping together in the wee hours of the morning on the night where they kept each other up all night. Monica says, "That really was some of your best work." Chandler responds, "Hm, hmm, I told you!" [The Knockout] Chandler then looks at the clock before firing off this juicy little classic Channy quip, "I can’t believe that I’ve only got two hours before I call in sick for work."
The Rossatron
Season 7, Episode 11
Friends S7:E11 - Happy new year, Friendsters! Today, with this first post in the January following that rotten, no good, very bad Year 2020, I thought what better way to start off this amazing, cleansing chance we've been given for a fresh start than with a nice, piping slice of Friends 20/20 fiction. What do you think, class? Hearing no objections, let us begin and it goes a little something like this:
Once upon a time the kingdom of Centralperk was thrust into crisis when an unruly gang called The Dessert Stealers rode in from the northern hamlet of White Plains to storm the castle. The leader of the Dessert Stealer gang, an evil wizard called Big Daddy, was hellbent on conquering Centralperk and wasn't above resorting to dark magic to achieve his objective. Ironically, Big Daddy was the twin brother of another prominent wizard, Gandalf, but the two brothers had had a falling out at Wizardry College when Big Daddy became jealous of Gandalf's popularity. You see, Gandalf had a reputation for being the funnest wizard to party with in all of the land and was selected to rush Phi Cappa Cauldron, the most prestigious fraternity at Wizardry College. Meanwhile, Big Daddy (who entered college as Krandalf, a socially awkward Wizard) was not selected to rush a frat. Enraged with jealousy of his twin brother's social status, Krandalf stole Gandalf's book of spells and used it to both transform himself from the socially awkward Krandalf to the smooth-talking Casanova Big Daddy (as he rebranded himself) and to banish Gandalf from the kingdom of Centralperk for all of time. Having just ridden into Centralperk with his gang the Dessert Stealers, Big Daddy knew the key to his plan for conquering the kingdom was to disrupt the nuptials of Princess Regina to the renowned inventor, David the Scientist Guy. He knew that executing his plan prior to the wedding was key because once Princess Regina and David the Scientist Guy were married, David was planning to invent and build an impenetrable security system for the castle that would ensure peace and prosperity in Centralperk for generations to come. Riding in from White Plains to disrupt the nuptials on Princess Regina's wedding day, Big Daddy and the Dessert Stealers executed their plan by luring Princess Regina to a dungeon that they tricked her into believing was the beauty salon where she had booked an appointment to get her hair and nails done for the wedding. Once the Dessert Stealers had captured Princess Regina, Big Daddy cast a spell on her that transformed her to a hideous creature called Broad Back. The key to the plan wasn't to repulse David the Scientist Guy (who would have still happily married his bride as Broad Back knowing it was really still Princess Regina on the inside) but rather trap Broad Back in the dungeon for all of time because her back was indeed so broad, she couldn't fit through the dungeon door to escape. With the wedding delayed and the kingdom likely at risk to fall to Big Daddy as the new ruler, David the Scientist Guy called on the only hope left to restore order...he summoned the might warrior known as The Rossatron. The Rossatron was the most powerful knight in the entire known world and his reputation as a super hero was known from one edge of the world to the other. It is not known whether The Rossatron jumped on his white horse and galloped into Centralperk or if he simply put on a cape and flew in himself (for expediency, of course) but regardless, minutes before Big Daddy was officially going to seize the thrown, The Rossatron burst into the castle and defeated Big Daddy in a duel during the notorious battle that would later come to be know as The Stand at Purple Point (The Rossatron also fought off and defeated the rest of The Dessert Stealers). Once the Rossatron had defeated Big Daddy and the Dessert Stealers, he forced Big Daddy to reverse the spell allowing Broad Back to transform back to Princess Regina. With Big Daddy and the Dessert Stealers looking on from the stalks nearby, Princess Regina married David the Scientist Guy and The Rossatron even had the generosity to stick around and officiate. David the Scientist Guy invented his security system for the castle upon returning from his and Princess Regina's honeymoon and the kingdom of Centralperk indeed was able to enjoy peace and prosperity for generations to come. One more thing I forgot to mention. The Rossatron also just so happened to attend Wizardy College way back when. In fact, he and his roommate Chandy were also members of the Phi Kappa Cauldron fraternity and great friends with Gandalf. When The Rossatron defeated Big Daddy at The Stand at Purple Point and forced him to reverse the spell on Broad Back, he also secretly (while no one else was looking) forced Big Daddy to reverse the spell banning his brother, Gandalf from the Kingdom of Centralperk. Therefore, once that spell was also lifted, Gandalf was able to return to Centralperk in order to PARTY with The Rossatron and Chandy. They PARTIED dude. It was epic. In fact, it was so epic that everyone (except Big Daddy and The Dessert Stealers) lived happily ever after. The End. Happy New Year, y'all!
Recap in the Key of Phoebe - This is the one where Monica forces Ross to make her his "plus one" for their cousin Frannie's wedding (because she wasn't invited), Chandler and Rachel live outside of the law by repeatedly eating cheesecakes intended for Mrs. Braverman downstairs, Phoebe makes Joey feel guilty for standing her up to go on a date, Joey in return makes Phoebe feel guilty for rushing through dinner with him so that she can go on a date with David the Scientist Guy while he is only in town for one night, and apparently the kisses on the lips from Aunt Millie just so happens to be the kryptonite for our super hero, The Rossatron.
Gandalf Gaffes - None. Flawless episode!
Chan Man Quip of the Week - [The Setup] Chandler is sitting at his and Monica's kitchen table eating cheese cake alone when Rachel comes in the apartment. She says, "hi" while Chandler immediately invites her over, responding with, "Hey, you have got to try this cheesecake." Rachel resists, explaining, "Oh, ya know I'm not that much of a sweet tooth. I..." Before she can finish, Chandler sticks his fork with a bite of cheesecake in her mouth. After tasting it, Rachel changes her tune exclaiming, "Wow. My God, so creamy. Oh my God, this is the best cheesecake I have ever had. Where did you get this?" As Rachel is looking at the cheese cake box, Chandler sheepishly answers, "It was at the front door. When I got home. Somebody sent it to us." Seeing the address on the box, Rachel has Chandler caught in the lie and lets him know by saying, "Chandler, this is not addressed to you. This is addressed to Mrs. Braverman downstairs." Shocked, she continues by calling Chandler, "Thief!" Doing his best to rationalize his behavior, Chandler explains, "I...no! I didn't read the box before I opened it. And you can't return a box after you've opened the box." Rachel asks, "Why, why not?" [The Knockout] Attempting to make up for the obvious and serious character flaws in question with some quippy charm, Chandler answers, "Because it's too delicious."
Featured Image Source: Antuko
Headline Image Source: u/imsmart420 on reddit
The Sanctity of the Written Word
Season 7, Episode 7
Friends S7:E7 - Hey there, sports fans. Now that we've gotten past all of that election craziness, I thought it might be nice to take a week off from politics. How does that sound, class? Okay, cool. Since we've established that today's post will be a politics-free zone, what is one thing that allows you to take your mind off the craziness of the political moment that we're in? For me, why it's sports of course. In fact, combining sports with the sanctity of the written word" happens to be one of our specialties here at theLeftAhead. That being the case, today's episode got me thinking how crazy it is that the Subway Series between the New York Yankees and New York Mets was more than twenty years ago. We know this because Joey and Erin argue about it while they're dating (Joey is a Yankees fan and Erin is a Mets fan). Aside from it being lame how the Yanks were "buying" championships in the late 90's and early aughts, this is just tripping me out because I that time like it was yesterday so the fact that it was twenty years ago is really making me feel old. Way to go, sports. You've managed to find something to make me as anxious as thinking about politics would. Nice going.
Okay, since my original line of thinking for this post just blew up in my very own face, maybe we should shift gears and talk about how hilarious it is that the Paleontology section of the library on Ross's university is the make out spot on campus. I really appreciate how much this bugs Ross that people are "rolling around" in front of his book. The fact that Joey (the last person you would expect to know the layout of a library) knows how to describe where it is from personal experience is pretty freaking funny. Monica and Chandler popping in at the end of the episode to try it out is also a nice touch of humor. The funniest part of all, though, is of course when Ross and a woman who read his book get busted themselves after Ross had made such a fuss about defending the "sanctity of the written word." Simply epic.
The Rachel and Phoebe playing matchmaker for Joey plot line and the Monica and Chandler dealing with Janice inviting herself (and Clark too) to there wedding both contribute to make this a well-rounded fun and funny episode. One thing that stands out to me as relatable during the Rachel and Phoebe matchmakers extraordinaire experiment is when Rachel tries to impress Joey that Erin drank two beers at lunch and Joey's first thought is to ask angrily if it were two of his beers that Erin drank. That one backfired on Rachel just as it would on anyone who tried to impress me by informing me that someone has drunk two of my beers upon returning home. (Kenny doesn't share beer!) This episode is also the first time that Monica and Chandler have to go to the "Chandler still has feelings for you, Janice" well but it certainly isn't the last (foreshadowing is fun). Finally, who in the hell is the guy standing in Monica and Chandler's kitchen when Janice is over informing them that she's spending the night? How's about you chew on that this week, class? Let me know what you come up with when we reconvene next week. Until then.
Recap in the Key of Phoebe - This is the one where Ross discovers that people are fornicating in front of his doctoral dissertation in the Paleontology section of "the biggest library in the university," Joey asks Rachel to tell Erin (a woman he hooked up with at their apartment) that he's not looking for a serious relationship, Monica runs into Janice while Janice is eating at her restaurant and is forced to inform Janice that she and Chandler are engaged, Phoebe and Rachel convince Joey to give Erin a second chance and then have to make him pancakes after Joey falls for Erin but Erin decides she's no longer into Joey, Chandler has to pretend that he still has feelings for Janice when Monica determines it's best way to get Janice to not spend the night at her and Chandler's apartment and also not attend their wedding, and Ross gets busted fornicating with a woman who read his book while guarding the sanctity of the written word.
Gandalf Gaffes - Super short and sweet Gandy (should we make that a thing or nah?) to document in this episode. When Ross is talking to the woman who read his book while he's defending the sanctity of the written word, she comments that he looks so young (compared to how she pictured him while reading his dissertation). Ross responds by informing her that he skipped fourth grade. We know two previously established facts that make this impossible: 1) Ross is "Monica's geeky older brother" (Pilot: S1:E1) and 2) Monica was a senior in high school when Ross was a freshman in college. He tells this to Elizabeth's dad to explain away how Elizabeth's dad thought it was creepy that he took a high school girl to prom when he was a college student (S6:E21). Since the first fact establishes that Monica and Ross are not twins and the second fact establishes that they were only one grade apart, it is impossible that Ross skipped fourth grade. I'm gonna rule this as a level one infraction since it's entirely plausible that Ross just made that up as a lie on the spot to impress the woman who read his book.
Gandalf Gaffe #27: Ross tells a woman who read his dissertation that he looks young because he skipped fourth grade. However, Ross is Monica's older brother and was one grade ahead of her when they were in school so the idea that he skipped fourth grade would only be possible if Monica and Ross were twins which they are not.
Chan Man Quip of the Week - [The Setup] Monica and Chandler are home after work when Monica informs Chandler that she ran into Janice at her restaurant. Chandler immediately begins to try to comfort Monica, saying, "Oh...My...God! I am so sorry sweetie, are you okay? You didn’t tell her we were getting married, did you?" Monica answers, "Well, she saw the ring." Chandler continues getting up to speed by asking, "Did she freak out?" Monica reports, "Well, she was shocked when I told her, but then again so were most people." Chandler agrees in a self-deprecating way saying, "Right." Monica continues sharing her traumatic experience of getting caught up with Janice by saying, "Well, she actually has a boyfriend, ya know...herself, named Clark. Uh, she also kinda invited herself to our wedding. Clark too." Alarmed, Chandler asks, "You said no, right?" Not knowing how to admit that she said yes, Monica plays dumb with a "huh?" Even more concerned, Chandler restates his question with "You said no, right?" Monica defensively explains, "Well, she cornered me! She asked if the wedding was in town! I mean, what was I supposed to do?" Needing no time to mull the question, Chandler emphatically answers, "Lie!!! How hard is that? The check’s in the mail! Oh your baby is so cute! [The Knockout] In order to hammer home his point with a mic drop, Chandler reaches into his bag (bag-o-quips, that is) and pulls at the Ross card with, " I can’t wait to read your book, Ross!!"
Headline GIF Source: potterwars
Elephants Never Forget
Season 7, Episode 6
Friends S7:E6 - Friendinistas, I am so pleased to report that as we gather here today in Week 199 of The Resistance, the nightmare is finally drawing to a close. We are being stirred awake by the radiant warmth of the first alpenglow rays of light from dawn's palette. Soon it will be morning again in America. We did it! On Saturday morning, three and a half days after the polls closed on Election Night 2020, Joe Biden was elected the 46th President of the United States of America and Kamala Harris was elected the first female, black, and asian American Vice President of the United States of America. Consequentially, Donald Trump, the immoral president in American history and his super fly vice president, Mike Pence, will be vacating the White House in 72 days. Yo...guess what, y'all? We just made it passed 45!!! In our bitterly divided America, Election 2020 was alarmingly close. Joe Biden will ultimately win the Electoral College handily and leads the popular vote by nearly five million votes (to date) but his margins in several key battle ground states are razor thin. There is no doubt that a racist, immoral, self-consumed born rich conman was very realistically within striking distance of threading the Electoral College needle to reelection. That is a scary, scary thought. Nevertheless, a win is a win is a win. Thankfully, the progressive working people's movement came out in force to drag the corporate Democratic establishment across the finish line so that the non-deal-with-the-devil-making American public can collectively breathe a sigh of relief. Don't worry, those of us in the progressive working people's movement are not expecting a thank you from the Democratic Establishment (I think they already misdirected that towards The Lincoln Project). We know one is not forthcoming. We, instead, can bask in the reverence of the history that was made on Saturday to elect the first female, black, and asian Vice President (reflected in today's wonderful headline image created by artist Bria Goeller) to move us one step closer to perfecting our Union.I know a lot of the President's supporters (who are our fellow Americans) are hurting today and so (as tempting as it is) I won't do any extending gloating. We need to be preparing to reach out to white working class voters and try to share with them a vision of why the union movement can deliver for them economically in ways President Trump, despite his promises, never did. Extended gloating right now would only make it harder to get through to those Americans when it's time to have those conversations. Having said that, I will also say this to the elected officials inside the Republican Party and the former and current appointed officials in the Trump Administration (who have been in a transactional relationship with Donald Trump for the past four and a half years because they have chosen to put their own pursuit of power and political interests ahead of the good of the country and the American people)...remember how the American people came out in record numbers on Tuesday to repudiate your immoral alliance and your despicable behavior; remember it for the rest of your historically tainted lives. Much like Ross and Joey's plutonic and nonsexual yet still obviously inappropriate nap arrangement, you knew what you were doing was wrong. Your integrity is forever lost and when this chapter enters our country's historical record, you will be judged harshly forever for you inappropriate and immoral alliance with Donald Trump. Over the last four and a half years, you were elephants first and Americans second. You are a disgrace. We will not let you forget that. And also don't forget the ice cold repudiation of everything you've compromised that came with the announcement on Saturday that Joe Biden has won the 2020 presidential election. We will not let you forget that either and we will not stand for a return to obstructionism in the coming four years. Don't ever forget, retched elephants, you sold your souls to Donald Trump in pursuit of power and now you have to live the rest of your lives rotting in that tarnish. Elephants, never forget.Finally, for anyone who has noticed things being a little bit difference here at theLeftAhead in 2020 (specifically since the pandemic hit in March), you deserve an explanation. I think the best way to put it is to quote our Editor-In-Chief, Ted James, when he said in his recent Election 2020 post, time is an illusion. Loyal Friends 20/20 readers, your homework is to chew on that until we reconvene again "next week." Until then...be best.
Recap in the Key of Phoebe - This is the one where Ross and Joey fall asleep on the couch together watching Die Hard, Monica devises a scheme for her, Phoebe, and Rachel to rotate being Maid of Honor for each other but for her not to have to choose her own Maid of Honor by making Phoebe and Rachel decide, Chandler is forced by Monica to face his camp girlfriend, Julie Grath and apologize for breaking up with her for gaining weight, Phoebe and Rachel's decision devolves into a contest that is judged by Ross and and Joey, and all of the judging wears Ross and Joey out seducing them to recreate the greatest nap ever but unfortunately for them, much like a group of Republicans holding a Saturday press conference at the Four Seasons Total Landscaping on the outskirts of Philadelphia, Monica, Chandler, Rachel and Phoebe some how wonder over and, as we all know, elephants never forget.
Gandalf Gaffes - None. Flawless episode!
Chan Man Quip of the Week - [The Setup] Monica arrives home from brunch and informs Chandler about a weird encounter during the meal, recalling, "Yeah hey, a weird thing happened today when I was at brunch. This woman overheard that I was marrying you and-and then she...she wished me good luck." Not sensing the tone, Chandler replies, "That’s sweet." Making a second attempt, Monica emphasizes the sarcasm with, "No, it’s more like...GOOD LUCK." Now intrigued by the mystery, Chandler asks, "So uh, what did this woman look like?" Monica briefs him with, "She was like 30, dark hair, attractive." Warming up his quip-tastic vocal cords for the aria to come, Chandler asks, "Well, is there any chance you were looking into a bright, shiny thing called a mirror?" Monica, not amused, brushes past by questioning, "Come on, was it somebody maybe you dated in college?" Chandler responds, "No, no I only dated two girls in college, both blonde, both not attractive. Hold on one second; let me check this out." As Chandler gets up to grab a photo album Monica asks, "What are you doing?" After bringing the album over, opening it, and pointing to a specific photo, Chandler asks, "Well, let’s see. Okay uh, is that her?" Astonished, Monica proclaims, "Oh my God yes! Who is she?" Seemingly pleased with his ability to identify the person in question quickly, Chandler reports, "Julie Grath, my camp girlfriend." Lobbying the softest of softballs right up, hanging over the plate, Monica asks, "Did you break up with her?" [The Knockout] Chandler Bing, the Luciano Pavarotti of quippage, smashed that question over the right field fence, responding, "No, we’re still together."
Featured Image Source: BET
Headline Image Source: SAPeople News
Yesteryear
Season 6, Episode 11
Friends S6:E11 - Greetings, friends. We are at the dawn of a new year, a new decade. A deep, fresh breath of hope. We exhale and then cup hope's renewal in our palms as if it were a northern cardinal that has somehow miraculously just landed on our shoulders with the intention of giving us a brief moment of caring submission before prompting us to release it back towards the sky to spread imagination across the breadth of its flight. We see baby blue skies and white, puffy clouds provide the backdrop for our tiny, fierce red streak of our hope. Beauty unlocks imagination which in return unlocks our yearnings for yesteryear. Perhaps the yesteryear where we currently find our characters, at the dawn of not just a new year and a new decade but also a new millennium. Oh wow, do you remember the yesteryear of the new millennium? (I mean, once we got past all of that Y2K hysteria, of course.) To be Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, Joey, or Ross again peering deeply out on the horizon towards a fresh thousand years; untainted and not yet sculpted. Of course our character are timeless so their millennial moment lives always in perpetuity as does their imagination for wondrous places of their past like White Plains. Just as Phoebe used her imagination to inhale revival from the succulent richness of her yesteryear, we use our imaginations to inhale revival from our reexamining of our new millennium through our characters' eyes twenty years ago. It's in this reflection that we summon our optimism for the next ten years as we peer deeply out at the roaring twenties before us. We understand that as we embark upon the year 2020 still completely engulfed in troubled waters, our Friends 20/20 serve as a compass that will help guide us to the stability of shore, to the security of warm, sandy beaches...hopefully before year's end. So happy new year to you and yours, dear friends. It is my great honor and privilege to serve as your captain for another year of our journey together. Still filled with anxiety from our troubled waters rather than the renewal of remembering yesteryear? In case you haven't heard, Pottery Barn started selling a Friends collection last July. Oh...and yes...it includes the apothecary table. So...if imagination can't help you tap into the optimism of yesteryear, maybe consumerism will. There you have it. You're welcome. Put on your life vest and grab ahold of something tight. We're here to take on the storms to come and persevere. Bring it, 2020. Class dismissed.
Recap in the Key of Phoebe - This is the one where Rachel buys an apothecary table from Pottery Barn for her and Phoebe's apartment but tells Phoebe it's an antique because Phoebe hates Pottery Barn, Joey starts dating his roommate Janine, Monica and Chandler start hanging out with Joey and Janine as a couple of couples until they discover that Janine can't stand them, Ross buys the same apothecary table as Rachel and then is forced to hide it from Phoebe by covering it with sheets that he is forced to tell her he bought at a flea market, the confrontation between Janine and Monica & Chandler culminates with Janine fighting Monica and Joey & Chandler watching, and Phoebe succumbs to consumerism after discovering that all of Rachel and Ross's purchases came from Pottery Barn and knowing that she needs to purchase a lamp in order to complete the transformation of her living room into a a magical recreation of yesteryear.
Gandalf Gaffes - None. Flawless episode!
Chan Man Quip of the Week - [The Setup] Monica and Chandler are at Joey's apartment confronting him about lying to them bout Janine being sick. Fighting an uphill battle given that Janine has already left to go to a play, Joey insists, "No, no, she really is sick!" Slightly annoyed that he has to go through the formality of calling Joey on his bull, Chandler asks, "Then why-why is she going to a play?" Trying to think on his feet but tripping over them instead, Joey answers, "Uh, ya know, starve a fever, go to a play for a cold." Visibly annoyed by the posturing, Monica demands a real answer by forcefully asking, "Joey! Why is Janine not coming over for dinner?" Joey submits to handing over the truth by informing them, "Well uh, she didn’t want to hang out with you guys two nights in a row. I’m so sorry." Unsatisfied that Joey as provided appropriate context, Chandler asks, "Well, why does she not want to hang out with us?" Joey sheepishly responds, "Because she uh, she, she thinks that you are blah and that you, Monica, are too loud." Shocked, Monica belts, "What?" before immediately realizing that her response has validated the criticism. She then tries to recover with a much more tempered, "What?" Incensed, Chandler piles on with, "So she was just pretending to have a good time last night? She was lying to our faces?" Monica starts tag teaming the disgust with, "Ugh, I can not believe this! I mean, who is she to judge us? We could not have been nicer to her!" Chandler drops one more log on the fire with, "And I am not blah, I am a hoot!" Joey, much like a political operative defending their candidate after a debate that they know they're candidate has lost, starts spinning with, "I know! I know! Come on, please, please you guys, don’t, don’t be mad. I’m sure she just, she just said that stuff because she was nervous and you guys are like my best friends! Ya know? And it was our first date! Plus, she’s really sick!" Trying to establish Joey's apartment as a "spin free" zone, Chandler insists, "No, you sh...No you said you made that up!" Now tortured by the question of who had the better excuse between him and Janine, Joey asks, "I know, but don’t you think the sick thing is way better than the play thing?" [The Knockout] Never one to miss an opportunity to light up any eligible player on the field, Chandler uses Joey's deception as misdirection to blindside Monica with, "Eh, they’re both good. I generally just go with, Monica’s drunk again."
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Headline Image Source: HuffPost
The Routine
Season 6, Episode 10
Friends S6:E10 - Yo, yo, yo!!! How's it hanging, Mercedes Friends? Welcome, welcome, welcome to the last post of the first decade of Friends 20/20! In fact, even though my boss Ted James is back from sabbatical, he's given no indication that there are any other posts planned this December so welcome, welcome, welcome to potentially the last post of the first decade of theLeftAhead. This blog site launched in June 2011 so we're not quite a decade old yet but it's still an honor (as the lowly pop culture writer) to be closing out the 2010s (and ringing in 2020) with a Friends 20/20 post. Speaking of the end of the decade, it's pretty crazy to wrap my head around the fact that the "millennial moment" is squarely in our 20/20 sights. I remember being a snot-nosed 21 year old college student at the end of 1999 and how excited I was to be old enough to legally purchase alcohol for the biggest New Year's Eve celebration of my lifetime. My college years certainly feel like a part of the distant past, but still...how can the end of the 90's be 20 years ago? Time flies, I guess. Some things have changed dramatically in the past 20 years but one thing that has never gone out of style is The Routine! As a last-class-of-the-decade gift to you class, I'm going to be extremely brief today. Please don't construe this as an attempt at a MAIL-IN SPECIAL. (I can almost feel Ted James hovering over me, breathing down my neck as soon as my fingers started typing the letters for "mail in special.") No, our brevity today is not a lazy M.I.S. cop out to close out the decade but instead, it is to not steal focus as we pay homage to the magnificence of The Routine in the video that I'm embedding below. Words cannot do justice to the glorious splendor that is The Routine so rather than attempt some two bit Hemingwayesque exposition on the subject that falls both flat and short, it makes much more sense for me to share the video and allow each and every one of you Friends 20/20 readers the moment of zen that is watching Ross and Monica's brother-sister synchronized dance routine and then trot off into a new year, a new decade with a great big smile on your face. So without further delay...have a great rest of your holiday season. I'll see you in the Roaring 20's. You. Are. Welcome.
Recap in the Key of Phoebe - This is the one where Janine invites Joey to attend the dance party taping for Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve, Janine also invites Monica and Ross (after finding out how huge of fans they are of the show), Phoebe and Rachel recruit Chandler to help them look for where Monica hid their Christmas gifts, Joey finally kisses Janine, and Monica and Ross get up on the podium for "fake midnight" after showing the snippy guy The Routine.
Gandalf Gaffes - None. Flawless episode!
Chan Man Quip of the Week - [The Setup] Rachel and Chandler are at Monica and Chandler's apartment searching for where Monica hid their Christmas presents. Phoebe is also a co-conspirator (and a mischievous one at that) as she returns to the apartment recruiting the chick and the duck to join the "hunt" from across the hall at Joey's. As she enters with the chick and the duck in tow, Phoebe says, "Hey! Look who I found!" Addressing the chick and the duck, Chandler cheerfully greets them with, "Oh, hey guys!" Revealing her plot, Phoebe says, "Ya know, birds have a very good sense of direction, and I thought maybe they could help us find where the presents are hidden." [The Knockout] Not buying Phoebe's logic or perhaps just wanting to spread a little holiday sneer, Chandler sarcastically claps back, "Yes, if the presents are hidden south for the winter."
Truth Day
Season 6, Episode 9
Friends S6:E9 - Romans, countrymen, FRIENDS, lend me your ears. For alas, it is the time of year when the giving of thanks is near. Happy Turkey Day eve eve eve, Phoebes and Phoebos! After all I'd be remiss if I didn't point out that the holiday season is upon us, hmm. Today, we have the distinct privilege of recapping not only one of the funniest Thanksgiving FRIENDS episodes but, in my humble opinion, probably one of the funniest FRIENDS episodes, period. The steal from a prior FRIENDS Thanksgiving episode, the reasons today's episode are hilarious are three-fold. 1) Rachel's shepherd's pie trifle fiasco 2) The whole Ross got high thing 3) The escalating declarations of Truth Day.Taking these in order, we'll start by discussing Rachel's shepherd's pie trifle. Rachel, a notoriously bad cook, for some unexplained reason, decides to volunteer to make Thanksgiving dessert and Monica, a notorious control freak, for some unexplained reason, decides to allow Rachel to make Thanksgiving dessert. Perhaps it was the guilt of just recently kicking her out of the apartment so that Chandler could move in? Who knows what compelled Monica to let Rachel make dessert but knowing a) Monica is a control freak and b) she is trying to host a perfect Thanksgiving in order to get her parents to like Chandler, it seemed to be on a borderline Gandalf Gaffe-worthy level of implausibility but whatevs... I'll let that one slide. At any rate, Rachel is following a recipe from a magazine and when Ross notices that the reason she is putting "beef sautéed with peas and onions" in the trifle is because the pages of the magazine were stuck together he sets Joey up for an epic laugh-out-loud moment when Joey's knee jerk reaction to hearing pages stuck together is to yell out, "Chandler." And since Ross and Joey want to show Janine and her dancer friends what if means to be hot in the new world, they can't afford to wait around for Rachel to restart the dessert so they decide not to tell her she did it wrong. They then convince everyone to go along with pretending they like it which is also hilarious. Everyone else besides Joey and Ross scatters to not have to eat the dessert (Chandler even frames a bird for why his landed on the street while he was enjoying it on the balcony). But the funniest moment of all has to be that while everyone else is horrified by having to eat shepherd's pie trifle, Joey actually likes it and eventually eats everyone else's. "What's not to like? Custard? Good. Jam? Good. Meat? Gooooood." Can't argue with that logic.
Moving on to the whole Ross got high thing, my first observation (having now lived in Colorado the last five years) is that the whole premise that Ross would be too scared to admit to his parents that he used to smoke marijuana in college seems really dated in 2019. I mean, I think it's pretty universal nowadays that the stigma no longer exists. Ross smoked weed in college? Oh no, look out for that crazy guy. Did he (gasp) drink a beer before he turned 21 too? (I think you get my point.) Having acknowledged that, the fact that he randomly decided to frame Chandler when his parents caught him smoking in college and that is the foundation for why Monica's parent's don't like her boyfriend years later is pretty damn funny. The imagery of Ross melting his dad's records because evidently, he wasn't good at handling his high is pure comedic gold. (There's a reason why the people have spoken and last week unequivocally declared once and for all... Ross Geller: Underrated.) Add in what we already know about the Welcome Back, Kotter Ross used to sport in his college days and the image of him smoking doobies in his room at his parent's house, getting caught, panicking, and then explaining that Chandler was smoking and then jumped out of the window...it's just so good.
Finally, we have the escalating declarations of Truth Day. FRIENDS has these moments of mutually assured destruction disclosures from time to time and they make for hilarious television. This one begins with a blood match between Monica and Ross. Monica strikes first by telling Jack and Judy that Ross smoked the pot then adds for good measure that Ross (not the mail man) stole Jack's playboys. Ross claps back by informing them that Monica (not Hurricane Gloria) broke the porch swing. Monica, already in the lead by a mile, piles on by telling her parents that Ross hasn't worked at the museum for a year. Ross then attempts to rally by saying the one thing Monica wasn't ready to tell...that she and Chandler are living together. Finally tasting her own medicine and realizing it is bitter, Monica goes for the jugular by telling her parents that Ross and Rachel got married in Vegas and that Ross got divorced...again! Game. Set. Match...Monica Geller. Of course Phoebe, Rachel, and Joey chime in for good measure to set up Judy Geller's legendary response. Oh my. The escalating declarations of Truth Day makes a strong case for being one of the single most brilliant moments of the entire series run. My comedy heart and belly are full just writing about it. So full, in fact...I better call it a day. After all, Thanksgiving 2019 is in three days and I don't want to spoil my appetite for turkey, gravy, stuffing, mashed potatoes, peas, and best of all...pumpkin pie. Man, oh man I can't wait. Also, if someone could make some righteous mac and cheese in case a boy who doesn't like Thanksgiving comes over (err.Chandler) that would be great. Gobble gobble. See you in December for a trip down the millennial moment memory lane. Adams out.
Recap in the Key of Phoebe - This is the one where Jack and Judy Geller don't like Chandler because Ross got caught by his parents during college smoking weed in his room and blamed Chandler (claiming he had jumped out of the window), Joey (and Ross) would like to show Janine and her dancer friends what it's like to be hot in the new world, Monica doesn't want to tell Judy and Jack that she and Chandler are living together because they don't like Chandler, Chandler tries to impress Jack and Judy during Thanksgiving, Phoebe has a crush on Jack, Rachel gets the pages of a magazine stuck while making Thanksgiving dessert and ends up making a trifle with a layer of shepherd's pie, and the air is cleared between Monica's parents and her boyfriend when Ross is forced to own up to "being tricked" into smoking marijuana in his bedroom during college because evidently Thanksgiving is in fact Truth Day.
Gandalf Gaffes - None. Flawless episode!
Chan Man Quip of the Week - [The Setup] The gang plus Jack and Judy Geller are at Monica and Chandler's apartment celebrating Thanksgiving. Frustrated because Ross had stalled on correcting the record with his parents about framing Chandler for smoking weed, Monica has just informed her parents of such and sparked a chain reaction of truth telling from the entire gang sans Chandler. After processing the information she's just received, Judy says, "That’s alot of information to get in in thirty seconds! Alright Joey, if wanna leave, just leave. Rachel, no you weren’t supposed to put beef in the trifle. It did not taste good. Phoebe, I’m sorry, but I think Jacques Cousteau is dead. Monica, why you felt you had to hide the fact that you were in an important relationship is beyond me." Before she can continue, Jack interjects, "And we kinda figured about the porch swing." Turning to Ross, Judy remorsefully asks, "Ross, drugs? Divorced? Again?" Jack piles on with, "What happened son?" Hoping to salvage a shred of dignity, Ross explains himself with, "I-I uh, I got tricked into all those things!" Turning away from her disappointment of a son, Judy walks over to Chandler and says, "Chandler! You’ve been Ross’s best friend all these years, stuck by him during the drug problems. And now you’ve taken on Monica as well. Well, I don’t know what to say. You’re a wonderful human being." Shocked at the turning of the tables, Chandler delightedly responds with a resounding, "Thank you!" Jack moves in to hug Chandler while saying, "No! Thank you!" After the embrace, Jack turns to his kids and says, "Monica, and Ross! I don’t know what I’m gonna do about the two of you!" [The Knockout] Beaming from ear to ear, Chandler tells Judy and Jack in a parent-like tone, "I’ll talk to them!"
Featured Image Source: Ned Hayes
Headline Image Source: Recap Guide
Kenny the Copy Guy
Season 6, Episode 8
Friends S6:E8 - I'd been running this scam for two years now and up until this point, it had been working beautifully. I've gotten two administrative assistants, one accountant, and half a dozen random visitors in the office to sleep with me by pretending to be a a big shot here at Ralph Lauren. The scam is always different, that's part of the beauty of it. I'll tell one woman I'm a designer, another I'm an Executive Vice President, another I'm a trust fund baby that sits on the Board of Directors. Hell, I even bedded Kim, that high level executive last year by pretending to be Ralph Lauren's nephew working in the mail room on a summer internship between semesters at Harvard. Woman are so naive it doesn't really matter what you tell them as long as you project a combination of power, privilege and wealth. I knew it was a risk but the minute Rachel's friend walked into the copy room, she was just so blonde and I could just sense she was extremely gullible that on an impulse, I just decided to go for it. Maybe it was the thrill I was getting from the boldness of the play or maybe it was just me letting my resentment that I was never able to add Rachel herself to my list of conquests (Rachel is soooo hot, by the way) but for whatever reason, I decided to introduce myself to Rachel's friend Phoebe as Ralph Lauren, himself. Of course, my instincts were correct. She bought it hook, line, and sinker. Within minutes of introducing myself to her as Ralph Lauren, we were making out right there in the copy room. After our make out session, I got her number so we could meet up later to take things to the next level. When I called Phoebe to hook up, she wanted to see the penthouse apartment I pretended to have (ya know, since she thought I was Ralph Lauren). Obviously I couldn't invite her over to the tiny studio apartment that I actually have (and share with two roommates) so I told her my penthouse was being renovated. She bought it and invited me over to her place. We sealed the deal that night (which was amazing, by the way...Phoebe is a firecracker in bed). After the encounter, I left and went home. I was walking on cloud nine thinking that this was my most-impressive scam to date. Unfortunately, when I went to work the next day, things started to unravel. I found out through the gossip chain that Rachel had told Kim that her friend Phoebe had made out with Ralph Lauren in the copy room and I started to panic. After all, Ralph Lauren is a married man so if this got back to him, and in defending himself against the accusation, he linked the rumor back to me, I would be almost certainly fired. Luckily, I made it through that entire day back at work without being forced to face the music. The next day, though, it got worse. Apparently, Rachel went back to Kim and pointed the finger at me having figured out (because of my long hair and the lucky hacky sack I carry with me everywhere I go) that it was me that made out with Phoebe and not Mr. Big Boss. I was officially in panic mode until I found out that because of sexual tension on the elevator between Ralph and Rachel, Kim didn't believe her! She actually believed that Rachel made up the second story about me because she thought Rachel was hooking up with Ralph to get promoted into Kim's job! Thank God Kim is so paranoid about Rachel's career ambitions. Bro, I think I'm in the clear! I gotta say, though. That was too close a call for comfort. Maybe it's time I change my ways? Yeah, I can't keep running these scams, I really need this job. So it's settled. From now on, no more trying to bed women I meet at work. Then again, on second thought... I wonder if I can convince Phoebe to convince Rachel to have a three-way with me?
* * *
What is good, Friendsters? I hope you've enjoyed our quick dip of the toes into the world of Kenny the Copy Guy. What a tool that guy is, right? He's lucky he was operating in the late-1990s and not today. That guy is a royal Me Too monster. Hopefully, he eventually got what he and his hacky sack had coming to them. Any who, we otherwise just have some quick business to follow up and then we're off to the races heading into Thanksgiving week where next Monday, we'll be covering probably the greatest Friends Thanksgiving episode of all-time. But before we get you off in the fast lane to Turkey Town, here’s that little piece of business we need to take care of...I'm excited to announce that I've graded everyone's homework assignments and the Ross Geller: Overrated, Underrated, or Properly Rated results are in. Please see them below and otherwise, have a great week!
Ross Geller: Overrated, Underrated or Properly Rated?
Overrated: 33 percent of the vote
Underrated: 34 percent of the vote
Properly Rated: 32 percent of the vote
Monkey Lover: 1 write-in vote (thanks a pant load, Johnny)Conclusion: Ross Geller is Underrated
Recap in the Key of Phoebe - This is the one where Phoebe tells Rachel that she fooled around with Ralph Lauren while making copies at Rachel’s work, Rachel tells her boss the Ralph Lauren gossip to curry favor, Ross whitens his teeth to impress Hillary (Monica’s assistant chef) on their first date, Chandler complains to Joey that Janine is making Joey’s apartment too feminine, Monica makes Chandler do a bunch of “girlie” activities while he’s lecturing Joey about standing up to Janine, Joey learns not to eat potpourri while getting in touch with his feminine side, and Rachel finds out that (just like Phoebe) her boss had a thing with Kenny the Copy Guy.
Gandalf Gaffes - None. Flawless episode!
Chan Man Quip of the Week - [The Setup] Chandler is walking across the hall to Joey and Janine's to try to spend some "guy" time with Joey after having spent a pretty "girlie" day with Monica. When he walks in, Joey and Janine are sitting at the kitchen counter also engaged in a "girlie" activity. Joey looks up at Chandler and says, "Hey Chandler. Come on in. We’re knitting pot holders." [The Knockout] Chandler (who is already irritated by the feminine changes that Janine has made to Joey's apartment) glares at them and snaps, "No thanks, Josephine." He promptly turns and leaves Joey and Janine's apartment.
Featured Image Source: Toy Skills
Headline Image Source: voodooham
How You Doin'?
Season 6, Episode 7
Friends S6:E7 - How you doin', Nation of Friends? I can't tell you how excited I am to title this post and open with the iconic Joey Tribbiani pick up line! Welcome back to the Price is Friends. Before we commence with this week's session of interfacing, let me begin by wishing everyone a Happy Veterans Day. For those of you readers out there who served, thank you for your service. While writing this, it just occurred to me that, as far as we know, none of the six main characters from FRIENDS are veterans (unless you count Phoebe's extensive service from past lives. (But hey, I think that counts so thank you for your service, Phoebe Buffay.) Since today is a holiday Monday, and further, since this is the last Monday before my boss, Ted James gets back from sabbatical, and even further since last week I didn't exercise one despite a massive temptation to do so, this week, I'm going to begin interfacing with you by informing you, class, I'm making today's post a MAIL IN SPECIAL. Speaking of interfacing, I wish it were already 2030 and Ross Geller's theory about computer technology developing such that computers can carry out the same number of functions as a human brain has come to pass so that I can just program a computer to write these Friends 20/20 blog posts for me and I can just be chilling on a beach full-time. But alas, it is not 2030 it is only 2019 and this project will end in 2024 and I'm afraid that my fate is sealed. It will be me who has to continue down the path of writing my way to completing the impossible mission. And yes, it will continue to be me writing these posts with an editor breathing down my neck the entire time. But enough about that. Speaking of television's most notorious paleontologist, sure he gets rejected this week in his attempt to interface with Janine, but remember last week, he took a cool $1500 off of Joey playing the fake game of Cups. So, class, I guess you know where this is heading, right? You betcha. Circling back to last week's homework assignment, please turn in your essays on the following subject. "Ross Geller: Underrated, overrated, or properly rated?" Great. Fantastic. Thank you, Susie. Thank you Bobby. Johnny...everyone has turned in their assignment now except for you. What gives? You were too busy hanging out in the studio last night with Ted James to do your homework? He said you could have an extension until next week? Well, he's not your teacher, I am. How do you even know my boss, anyway, Johnny? I asked you a question. He said he knew I would react this way and he'll talk to me about it first thing next Monday morning? Dammit, Johnny...fine. We'll deal with this next Monday. That's it, class. M.I.S. officially executed. I'll grade the rest of your essays and see you all next week. Go enjoy the rest of your holiday Monday. I know I certainly will. Peace. [Storms out] (...and scene.)
Recap in the Key of Phoebe - This is the one where Joey is attracted to his new roommate Janine but tries to repel her so as not to live at the supermarket, Ross unsuccessfully attempts to interface with Janine, Rachel is embarrassed about running in the park with Phoebe so she fakes an injury to avoid the embarrassment, Phoebe catches Rachel in the lie but eventually convinces her that running free and not caring what people think is more fun, Chandler rearranges all of Monica's furniture while cleaning the apartment for her and then freaks out when he doesn't remember how to put it back, Monica reassures Chandler that he shouldn't be scared of her after discovering everything being out of sorts at the apartment, and Joey's universe is turned upside down when he decides to turn it on with Janine but she isn't seduced by, "How you doin'?"
Gandalf Gaffes - None. Flawless episode!
Chan Man Quip of the Week - [The Setup] Chandler and Ross are at CHANDLER's and Monica's apartment (first time saying that). Ross is talking to Chandler about science stuff that Chandler is clearly not interested in. Ross lectures, " So, I just finished this fascinating book. By the year 2030, there'll be computers that can carry out the same amount of functions as an actual human brain. So theoretically you could download your thoughts and memories into this computer and-and-and live forever as a machine." [The Knockout] A visibly annoyed Chandler opens a can of quip ass with, "And I just realized I can sleep with my eyes open."
Cups
Season 6, Episode 6
Friends S6:E6 - Well hello again, Blog Friendly Gentlepeople! Hope you all had a fantastic Halloween and that your November is off to a lovely start. In the event that that's not your truth and because it's not your truth you can use a fun and exciting distraction from Everyday Life (yes, the rumors are true...Coldplay is dropping a new album with this name on November 22nd and we here at theLeftAhead CAN NOT WAIT!!!), I've got a special surprise in store for you today, class. Many of you were wondering as you walked in and took your seats why there is one of those televisions bolted to a wheel cart that you remember getting excited about in grade school (because it meant the teacher was going to show a movie instead of teach) at the front of the class. Well, I know the suspense is killing you so I'll just spit it out. I've brought the television bolted to a wheel cart into class today so that we can watch the big game together! "What big game could be happening on a Monday morning at the beginning of November?" you may be wondering. Duh. We're about to watch the Big Game, Italy vs. China, apparently. So grab some nachos from the side table (thanks for brining in nachos, Sally) and let's get this party started!While we're watching the game and eating our nachos, we should also discuss today's episode. You might've expected that me bringing in a television to watch Italy vs. China was a clever ploy to exercise a MAIL IN SPECIAL on today's episode but if that is what you expected, you could not be more wrong. I mean, what kind of blogger do you take me for? I take my work seriously which all of you know means that I would only exercise a M.I.S. when, dictated by emergency, it is absolutely necessary. Okay, okay, who am I kidding? Obviously, I would love to mail in today's post and would have no qualms doing it. The thing is that I received another Robert De Niro Meet the Parents "I'm watching you" text from my "on sabbatical" boss Ted James at like 5:00 am this morning. This being the unfortunate case (and because he informed me that his sabbatical is ending in a couple of weeks), I think for the sake of my continued employment here at theLeftAhead, exercising another M.I.S (which would be the third in six episode this season) is not a wise move. Like a seasoned pro facing an opponent playing Cups for the very first time, my only move here is to play it safe and work for the D-Cup with a sitting down bonus, if you will. So, as we've just witnessed Italy take the early lead on China in this epic rivalry, let's discuss another epic rivalry: Monica vs. Rachel.In today's episode, Phoebe gets annoyed with Monica and Rachel for being sad about The End of an Era while there packing Rachel's stuff to move out and decides (using very Phoebesque logic) that the way to get them to stop being sad about no longer living together is to have them remind each other of things that they're not going to miss about living together. Thus, the epic Monica vs. Rachel Feud of 1999 is born. And it proves to be one of the greatest Monica vs. Rachel fights in FRIENDS series history. Monica and Rachel hit each other with some sick burns as they fight over Rachel moving out. For example, Rachel claps on Monica for not getting phone calls from interesting people. Monica claps on Rachel for wearing her sweater too tight. Rachel claps on Monica for stretching out her shoes (when she borrows them) with her big clown feet. Monica claps on Rachel for loving Ross, then hating Ross, then loving Ross, then hating Ross. The sickest burn of all (and therefore the W in the Monica vs. Rachel feud of 1999) goes to Rachel. When Monica says, "Well, this is the last box of your clothes. I’m just gonna label it, "What were you thinking?" Rachel claps back with, "Funny, because I was just gonna go across the hall and write that on Chandler." OH!!!!!!!!!!!! Look at the underdog Rachel with the come-from-behind walk-off grand slam! Incredible!Oh snap, is this life imitating art because look class, the underdog China just rallied from behind to defeat the heavily-favored Italy! Well, I guess that means that class is over. First, because the game is over and second because at this point, there is no way that Ted James can argue that this week's post is a MAIL IN SPECIAL. Class dismissed! Please clean up your nacho plates before you leave (I ain't your daddy). Yes, that means you Johnny. I see you trying to sneak out. Congratulations, Rachel. Congratulations, China. And congratulations Ross for being so good at Cups, you walked away with the $1500 dollars Chandler was trying to dump to Joey. Class homework assignment: Ross Geller. Underrated, overrated, or properly rated? That discussion and more next week on The Price is Friends. See you later, alligators.
Recap in the Key of Phoebe - This is the one where Chandler convinces Joey to gamble with him on their last night as roommates so that he can purposely lose the $1500 he wanted to give to Joey to help him cover his bills but Joey wouldn’t accept as charity, Joey kicks and breaks the foosball table when he accidentally scores on his own goal against Chandler during one of the bets that Chandler is trying to purposely lose to him, Rachel gives Monica the last-night-as-roommates gift of allowing Monica to help her pack, Monica gets so excited that she demands that everyone should help Rachel pack, Ross makes a fake Ben as an excuse to watch the Knicks season opener at home instead of helping Rachel pack, Phoebe meddles in Monica and Rachel’s sadness over not being roommates anymore by getting them to say things they won’t miss about each other which causes an epic fight, and Chandler finally finds a way to lose the $1500 to Joey by making up a fake card game only to discover later that Joey lost the money to Ross playing the same game and this proving Joey’s theory that beginners luck is very important in Cups.
Gandalf Gaffes - None. Flawless episode!
Chan Man Quip of the Week - [The Setup] Phoebe and Chandler are at Monica and Rachel's apartment talking about Chandler moving out from his apartment with Joey. Phoebe asks, "So is Joey going to have to give up the apartment?" Chandler answers, "No, I hope not! I tried to offer him some money, but he wouldn’t take it." Phoebe continues her inquiry, asking, "Well, how much do you think he needs?" Chandler responds, "I figure that $1,500 would cover him for a few months, ya know? But I have to trick him into taking it so I won’t hurt his pride." Phoebe offers up a suggestion as only Phoebe can, brainstorming, "Why don’t you hire him as an actor? You could have him dress up and put on little skits. Whatever you want." [The Knockout] Chandler responds with sarcastic exuberance as only Chandler can, replying, "Well that would help the pride thing."
Stop Typing "Stop Typing"
Season 6, Episode 5
Friends S6:E5 - What's good, Friendsters? Since this is our last convening in the month of October, let me start off by saying, Happy Halloween! 🎃👻🎃👻 Does everyone already know what they're dressing up as next Thursday? I sure do. I'm going to dress up as my boss, Ted James. My costume will be a ghost because that's exactly what theLeftAhead editor-in-chief has been this fall while he's allegedly been on sabbatical recording music. I've gotta say, it's been pretty spooky around here without the boss man constantly hovering over my desk reminding me of my deadlines. On second thought, what am I even doing here at the office? I can write and post my column from home and it's not like there's anyone here monitoring my attendance. In fact, maybe I'll go home to finish today's post and maybe I'll work from home the rest of the month. Or maybe I'll just stop typing. Or maybe I'll just stop typing "stop typing," shift into MAIL IN SPECIAL mode, finish this post here at the office, and then take the rest of October off. But I digress. Wait, what were we even talking about? Oh yeah, Halloween. I bet I know what Joey Tribbiani is going as for Halloween. What could that be? A guy who own a Porsche, of course. I mean, he's got to wear all of that Porsche gear that's collecting dust in his closet at some point, right?
Any who, so what else is going on? Well, I'm glad you asked. Did you hear that Jennifer Aniston broke the internet when she joined Instagram on Tuesday and posted this FRIENDS reunion photo. Jennifer (or Jen as her IG profile suggests her friends call her and being one, what I call her ?) set a Guinness world record for fastest to reach a million followers (five hours and sixteen minutes) with her thunderous entrance into the social media sphere. While there's no question that Jen joining IG was a calculated, a savvy PR move designed to promote her upcoming Apple TV+ television series, The Morning Show, you would be hard pressed to find anyone who could be mad at the move, especially since she launched her account with such a fun, nostalgic selfie of her and her FRIENDS castmates. Alrighty then, since I've dutifully brought you up to speed on who owns Instagram this week, I think I've done my due diligence on putting together a M.I.S. So like Ted James (or my Halloween costume), it's time for me to wrap this up and ghost theLeftAhead office. That's right, y'all. Pretend this blog post is a game of Trick or Treat and it's my turn and I chose Trick and now I'm going to disappear. Happy Halloween. Boo.
Recap in the Key of Phoebe - This is the one where Ross deals with the blow back of Rachel finding out that they're still married, Joey finds the keys to a Porsche at Central Perk and then pretends to be the Porsche's owner when he starts receiving attention from the ladies for hanging around the car, Phoebe recruits Monica and Chandler to help her babysit Frank and Alice's triplets, Chandler goes to the hospital after accidentally swallowing the sonic blaster gun of Krog (a non-age-appropriate toy) while babysitting the triplets, Monica fights off the temptation to freak out about the mess Phoebe made in her apartment while getting triple-teamed by the babies, Rachel tells the judge that Ross is gay, drug addicted, and incapable of consummating their marriage during their annulment hearing, and Ross loses in the very same annulment hearing when the stenographer won't stop typing, "stop typing."
Gandalf Gaffes - None. Flawless episode!
Chan Man Quip of the Week - [The Setup] Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler are at Monica's and soon-to-be Chandler's apartment. Phoebe and Monica are watching the triplets and Chandler is making throat noises from the sonic blaster gun swallowing incident. Joey walks in decked out from head to toe in Porsche gear. Without saying hello, Joey informs his pals, "So the Porsche guy took his car back." Immediately perplexed by Joey's outfit, Chandler sarcastically asks, "But you found the keys to his clothes?" Joey answer, "No. No, I just uh, I just loved the way it feels when everybody thinks I own a Porsche." A little hesitant to wade too deeply into the inner workings of Joey's twisted logic but as the same time, understandably curios, Monica reluctantly probes, "And people will think you own a Porsche because you’re wearing the clothes?" Happy to explain himself, Joey responds, "Of course! Only an idiot would wear this stuff if you didn’t have the car! Right?" [The Knockout] With all the swiftness and precision of the black belt quip artists that he is, Chandler delivers a blow that simultaneously strikes Joey directly in his heart whilst also cruising magnificently right over his head by agreeing, "That is true."
Featured Image Source: Rebel Walls
Headline Image Source: Independent
Fake Accent University
Season 6, Episode 4
Friends S6:E4 - Good evening, Friendinistas. Happy Indigenous Peoples' Day. I hope Week 143 of The Resistance finds you well. It should. We are finally (FINALLY) starting to see cracks in the shameful "political self-preservation over country" congressional Republican wall protecting President Trump. With today's damning testimony by former White House advisor on Russia and Europe Fiona Hill in the impeachment inquiry coupled with the near universal backlash to our Commander-In-Chief committing potentially the biggest foreign policy blunder since George W. Bush's 2003 invasion of Iraq with Trump's despicable decision to abandon our Kurdish allies and withdraw our forces from Syria, there is a palpable shift in our collective appetite to finally hold this president accountable for his abuses of power. While this development is encouraging, we are likely still a very long and painful distance away from realizing the ultimate objective of our resistance: Donald Trump's removal from office. Should it come at the ballot box, we are still 386 long and painful days away. Should it come through steadfast resolve fueling an impeachment conviction or even a resignation, it could come sooner. But here comes the cold water. If we get overconfident at any point during the next 55 weeks (even for a moment), Donald Trump could thread the reelection needle and push that timeline back to January 2025. I know that this is the blog post before the blog post before Halloween...but that's a pretty scary thought. Stay engaged, Friendinistas. Stay engaged with unrelenting resistance. Until we are all of the way there, we are still nowhere.
Now to segue into today's episode of Friends, the title I chose for today's post - Fake Accent University - reminds me of another one of President Trump's endless scandals. Can you guess which one, Friendinistas? Well if you guessed the reality television conman's venture into swindling desperate-to-improve-their-lives naive Americans into racking up massive amounts of debt to pay for a higher education that marketed itself as having the ability to teach them how to become real estate moguls but was actually (like most things produced by the Trump Organization) just a huge freaking scam then you have guessed correctly or as the Grail Knight from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade would put it, "You have chosen wisely." Yeppers. Unfortunately for all of those "students" who couldn't see that the emperor has no clothes, Trump University may as well have been called Fake Accent University. (How's that for a segue?) For Ross Geller, teaching at Fake Accent University is a high honor. I mean, he hopes to get tenure at FAU someday. Of course, impressing a tenure review board is the least of Ross's worries after Rachel crashes one of his classes to confront him about an interesting phone call she had with his divorce attorney. Indeed. At the end of today's episode, Ross and twenty-ish of his students discover that Rachel has discovered that she is still married to Ross. I've gotta say...pretty big day for these FAU students. First, Ross admits to being from Long Island and using a fake accent. Then, they discover that Ross has a secret wife. Ross and the FAU undergrads also discover that Rachel is not happy about the fact that she's still Mrs. Geller which triggers Ross to resort back to his fake accent by greeting Rachel's intrusion into his class with, "Well, hello Rachel!" But just like the words that come out of my mouth every time I hear Donald Trump talk about being the victim of the greatest witch hunt in American history, once busted...I'm sure Ross was thinking what he had said when Rachel and Monica discovered his fake accent in the first place, "Oh bloody hell." And on that note, I think I can safely say in my best DJ Khaled voice that this completes another one. See you next week, faithful patriots. Keep resisting ✊✊✊
Recap in the Key of Phoebe - This is the one where Ross lands a job in N uh, Y, uh U's paleontology department and makes up a British accent to be neither sexy or funny while teaching his class, Joey loses his health insurance and gets a hernia in the same week (bad week for Joey), Phoebe is told by her psychic that she's going to die within the week (bad week for Phoebe), Chandler helps Joey shower and attend a commercial shoot in order to help him get his health insurance back while he's suffering from his hernia, Monica steals back some candlesticks that Rachel was planning to take with her when she moves, and Rachel discovers by answering a phone call from Ross's divorce attorney that she's still married to him so she confronts him during one of his classes at Fake Accent University.
Gandalf Gaffes - None. Flawless episode!
Chan Man Quip of the Week - [The Setup] Joey and Chandler are at Central Perk. Joey is at the counter struggling to bring coffee back to the couch for him and Chandler because of the pain his hernia is causing him. He grunts and groans while walking over to the couch and sitting down before sliding over Chandler's coffee on the table. Noticing the relief Joey feels when this process is complete, Chandler sarcastically asks him, "Hey, will you grab me a cruller?" After Joey starts groaning again while he struggles to get up, Chandler barks, "Sit down! Will you go to the hospital?" Joey responds, "Dude! Hernia operations cost like, a lot probably. Besides it’s getting darker and more painful, that means it’s healing." Brushing aside Joey's wacky logic, Chandler says, "I will loan you the money. Just go to the hospital and let’s just get that thing...pushed back in." In response, Joey pontificates, "Thank you, but it would take me forever to pay you that money back and I don’t want that hanging over my head. Okay? Besides, as soon as my insurance kicks in I can get all the free operations I want! Yeah, I’m thinking I’ll probably start with that laser eye surgery too." Phoebe arrives at Central Perk, walks over to Joey and Chandler, and says, "Hey!" Joey and Chandler both respond, "Hey!" Setting the table for Chandler to eat a big bowl of honey nut quippios, Phoebe asks, "What's going on? [The Knockout] Chandler happily pours the milk and digs right in with, "Oh Joey’s got a really bad hernia, but that’s nothing a little laser eye surgery won’t fix!"
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Naked Thursdays
Season 6, Episode 3
Friends S6:E3 - Wanted. Female roommate. Non-smoker. Non-ugly. What it do, Friendsters? Do you know anyone who needs a place? Just kidding. Your humble servant Kenny A. doesn't actually need a roommate. And even if I did, this would be a terrible time to interview prospects since I'm just getting over a vicious cold (there's probably still lots and lots of wicked germs at my place). Speaking of the cold I finally just fought off... regretfully, I must report that (because of my illness) I was unable to make it to a theatre to attend the third night of Friends 25th: The One with the Anniversary. I'm pretty bummed that because of schedule conflict on the first two nights and then my cold, I wasn't able to take part in this massive celebration of the GOAT sitcom at all. ? It would've been pretty cool to have had the experience of seeing Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, Joey, and Ross on the big screen. Oh well, life goes on. Normally, class...I would ask you all if you were able to take part in any of the three nights of Friends 25th and if so, ask you to report back. But seeing as how I've just described how regretful I am to have missed it, hearing your experiences from it will likely just bum me out more. What do you say we just move on instead? Thanks, y'all. You're the best.Before we move into our discussion on this week's episode, I just wanted to mention another pop culture FRIENDS reference associated with the 25th anniversary that I didn't catch two weeks ago (just stumbled across it a couple of days ago) but now that's it's on my radar, I thought it was interesting enough to be worth mentioning. So, the FRIENDS reference I want to highlight today is the Ralph Lauren x Friends: 25th Anniversary campaign. In this campaign, the designer clothing company uses models to recreate the iconic FRIENDS opening credits at the fountain. Ralph Lauren also does a photo shoot at Central Perk with the models. (Side note: Ralph Lauren's ad campaign seems eerily similar to the JAY-Z video that used black actors to recreate a Friends episode a couple of year ago. We covered JAY-Z's reimagining in Fine By Me.) I'm not really that into fashion (shocker, I know) so had it been almost any other designer, I wouldn't have given too much thought to a fashion ad campaign that had models recreating iconic FRIENDS content. However, I actually thought this was pretty cool because it was Ralph Lauren. As any self-respecting FRIENDS fan knows, Rachel Green worked for several seasons at Ralph Lauren. Not only that, but Ralph Lauren himself actually makes a cameo on the show in...SPOILER ALERT...S6:E8...The One with Ross' Teeth. So more on that in six weeks, on November 18th to be precise. Anyway, the larger point that I'm trying to make is that I think the Ralph Lauren 25th Friends Anniversary ad campaign is cool because of the company and founder's history with the show, it's a poetic little tasty offering of art imitating life imitating art. And I guess (in my best Forrest Gump voice) that's all I have to say about that.
Today's episode finds our heroes grappling with the implications of Monica and Chandler moving in together. For example, one implication of Monica and Chandler moving in together is that Joey needs a new roommate. To solve that problem, Joey takes out an ad in the newspaper which allows him to interview non-smoker, non-ugly, nineteen year old female prospective roommates. Ladies, her's a pro tip: if you want to live with Joey Tribbiani, make sure you're on the same wavelength with him in regards to doggy associations. Another implication of Monica and Chandler moving in together is Rachel has to find a new place to live. After turning down Joey's offer to move in across the hall because of Naked Thursdays and losing the opportunity to sublet Ross' co-worker's apartment, Rachel lands on moving in with Ross. Phoebe, who is still pestering Ross about him being secretly still in love with Rachel, of course thinks this is a terrible idea. Finally, the last implications of Monica and Chandler moving in together is that they will have a spare bedroom that they need to figure out what to do with. Since Chandler wants a game room and Monica wants a guest room, predictably...they get in a massive fight and silliness ensues. As much as I enjoy all of the silliness, I think that this is a fine a place to wrap up for the week as any. What's that, Johnny? No, I told you I don't want to hear how awesome it was to see FRIENDS on the big screen. Why would you bring that up again? You're dismissed, Johnny. See you next week. What a punk ass, class. Now that he's gone, the rest of you are dismissed as well. See you next week. Lates.
Recap in the Key of Phoebe - This is the one where Rachel has to find a new place to live, Monica and Chandler get in a fight about what to do with their spare bedroom, Phoebe continues to pester Ross about his secret love for Rachel, Joey determines that the opposite of him (a guy who's not nineteen) is in fact a girl who is nineteen and decides to put out an ad to find a non-smoker, non-ugly nineteen year old female roommate, Ross offers to have Rachel move in with him (because he's secretly still in love with her), and Rachel accepts Ross' offer in order to avoid living with Joey and being required to participate in Naked Thursdays.
Gandalf Gaffes - None. Flawless episode!
Chan Man Quip of the Week - [The Setup] Chandler comes over to Monica's to try to make up after the fight about what to do with the spare bedroom. He says hi and Monica reciprocates. Chandler clumsily breaks the ice with, "Hi, listen, I’m sorry about before. I don’t need to have a game room. I mean, when I was a kid I only played those games because I couldn’t get girls, and now I can...‘em...now, I have you. (Chandler notices that Monica is glaring and knows he's digging himself a hole.) Not-not that I think that I have you or think of you as property in any sort of way, I see women..." Monica interrupts, cutting him off with, "Stop it, Chandler. I’m sorry too." Surprised, Chandler asks, "Really?" Monica responds, "Yeah! Oh yes!" Relieved, Chandler says, "Ohh." Monica continues, "Listen, we don’t have to make that a guest room, we can think of something to do with the room together." Chandler excitedly responds, "That’s a great idea! We can easily think of a way for us both to enjoy the room." Monica egress, "Totally!" They experience and awkward silence as they both start trying to think of a way for them both to enjoy the room. After a moment, realizing that they're both stumped, Chandler declares, "We don’t have to come up with this now." Relieved, Monica says, "Oh, good." Moving on, Chandler says, "Hey, ya know what? Why don’t we think about changes we can make in the living room?" Defensively, Monica asks, "Changes?" Chandler answers, "Yeah, I mean we’re gonna have to move around some furniture to make room for my chair." He kisses Monica and then walks into the living room to brainstorm where his chair will go. Monica follows him and alarmed, asks, "You’re-you’re-you’re gonna bring the Barca Lounger over here?" Chandler answers her question with a question, wondering, "Is that a problem?" Grandstanding, Monica says, "Well, it’s a set and they should probably stay together." Problem-solving her suggestion, Chandler offers, "Oh, that’s cool. Then I’ll just bring them both over." Becoming more irritable, Monica continues grandstanding with, "See now-now you’re taking them away from their home." [The Knockout] Fed up with all of his ideas being shot down, Chandler erupts like a volcano of sarcasm and claps back with, "Okay, I get it. So, I get nothing! Nothing here is mine! Everything here is yours! I’ll get up in the morning, put on your clothes, and head off to work!"
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The End of an Era
Season 6, Episode 2
Friends S6:E2 - Hey there, Mercedes Friends! What is the damn dealy-o? Hope everyone is having a fantastic Monday. Hopefully a better Monday than me, at least. I'm sorry to report that I've come down with a cold and I'm feeling about ten underground stories under the weather. So in case you were wondering, I'm writing today's post from bed. I mean, I figure my boss is on sabbatical and if he's not going to be at the office, there's no reason for me to be there. You would think he would provide me with sick leave for this type of situation but as he often reminds me, the whole point of this Friends 20/20 blog series is to put these posts out on the 20th anniversary of the episode I'm covering so the project does not allow for sick leave. (I wonder if theLeftAhead staff should unionize?) Don't you worry, though. I've got my day time cold medicine, a box of tissues, and my laptop. The show must go on!Just because the show must go on doesn't mean the show must go on well. That's right, class, you guessed it. Here we are on only the second post of the Season Six and I think being sick is just about as good an excuse as I can come up with to hit you with the first MAIL IN SPECIAL of the season. So without further ado, today's episode centers around Monica and Chandler struggling with breaking the new to their respective roommates, Rachel and Joey that they are going to be moving in together and living at Monica's apartment. Meanwhile, Phoebe spends the episode trolling Ross about still being in love with Rachel because of his desire to avoid the annulment and remain secretly married to Rachel. When Ross finally decides to pursue the annulment in order to prove to Phoebe (and a group of objective non-involved Central Perk patrons) that he isn't in love with Rachel, he has a hilarious encounter with his divorce attorney where it becomes abundantly clear that Ross may be in some serious need of therapy. Therapy reminds me of doctors. Doctors remind me of the fact that I'm sick. Me being sick reminds me of the fact that this post has been designated a MAIL IN SPECIAL. So I guess...that's all folks. See you next week when hopefully I'll be recovered, rejuvenated, and refreshed. Nap time.
Recap in the Key of Phoebe - This is the one where Monica and Chandler have to break the news to everyone that they're moving into together, Ross tells Rachel he's taken care of the annulment of his and Rachel's marriage (even though he hasn't), Phoebe (with the help of some strangers) theorizes that the reason Ross wants to secretly stay married to Rachel is that he's still in love with her, Joey cries when he finds out that Chandler is moving out, Rachel takes the news that she needs to move out so well at first it upsets Monica, and finally Rachel becomes emotional about not living with Monica anymore when it finally sets in that Chandler is moving in and it actually is the end of an era.
Gandalf Gaffes - None. Flawless episode!
Chan Man Quip of the Week - [The Setup] Monica and Chandler are snuggling on the couch at Monica and Rachel's apartment talking about moving in together. Chandler asks Monica, "Ya know when we move in together, can I get a gumball machine?" Monica answers, "Of course!" and then asks, "Joey wouldn’t let you have one?" Chandler answers, "No. When it comes to sweets, he’s surprisingly strict." Keeping the conversation on Joey, Monica asks, "Hey, have you figured out a way to tell him you’re moving out?" Chandler responds, "No, no, I keep trying, ya know? I can get out, 'Joey, I have too...' but then I lose my nerve and I always finish with, '...go to the bathroom.' He may think I’m sick." Turning to Rachel, Monica says, "Ya know, I really have to tell Rachel, but I... We just have to get it over with! Ya know, the next time we see them we’re just gonna tell them. Okay? That’s it." Defensively (but not really), Chandler reacts by asking, "Oh, so that’s this is gonna work now. You’re just gonna order me around all the time?" Monica bluntly answers, "Pretty much" and Chandler concedes, "All right." Joey barges into the apartment from across the hall and says, "Hey Monica!" She responds, "Hi." Joey then asks Chandler, "Hey man, you feeling any better?" Chandler responds with a classic Chandler grumble. Ready to bite the bullet, Monica announces, "Joey, we have something to tell you." Speculating wildly, Joey responds with, "Oh my God! You’re pregnant!" Taken aback, Chandler defiantly answers, "No!" He then turns and looks at Monica sheepishly, making sure there wasn't something he didn't know and asks, "No?" When she indicates to him she's not pregnant by shaking her head, he turns back to Joey and once again defiantly says, "No!" Continuing with the actual news, Chandler tells Joey, " Look Joey, here’s the thing, Monica and I have decided to live together, here. So, I’m gonna be moving out man." Caught off guard, Joey says, "Wow!" He begins tearing up but also tries to pretend to be excited by continuing, "Well, uh... Hey! I’m really happy for you guys! Congratulations!" Joey walks over to Monica, kisses her on the cheek, and then says, "See you later" as he begins walking towards the door to leave. Concerned, Monica asks, "Wait! Joey! Joey! Are you okay?" Continuing to try to hide his disappointment, Joey fibs, "Yeah, I gotta go! I've got an acting job." He then thinks about it for two seconds and admits, "Like you’d believe that. This sucks!" [The Knockout] Trying to smooth things over with Joey and having no qualms about throwing Monica under the bus in the process, Chandler fires off, "Look, I-I’m just gonna be right across the hall and I promise you, the minute Monica and I break up I’m moving right back in with you!"
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Frenaissance
Season 6, Episode 1
Friends S6:E1 - Yo!!! What is up, Friends Nation? Can you believe it? We're finally back together once again to embark on our sixth trip around the sun together. I'm feeling relaxed and refreshed from yet another summer break spent on the beaches of my infamous, secret "undisclosed location" tropical island. Having literally just returned home from said location yesterday, I was pleasantly surprised to arrive back at theLeftAhead offices this morning only to discover that my boss, Ted James, is currently on sabbatical while he's working on recording some new music. I was less pleasantly surprised to discover that he had left a note on my desk that said, "No slacking off while I'm gone, Adams." The note was accompanied by this photo. Personally, I thought the photo was a little bit uncalled for. I mean, as loyal readers you all know that in five years, I've never once been late in meeting a deadline for a Friends 20/20 blog post ? so what's with the passive-aggressive "welcome back" message? Well, whatever. I'm in a good mood today and I'm not going to let anyone (not even the guy who signs my paychecks) bring me down. After all, when I finish this post today, we will officially be more than halfway through the ten seasons of or impossible journey together. Even better, when you break things down into individual blog posts, after today, we'll have 118 blog posts in our rearview mirror and only 109 blog posts out on the open road ahead of us. So, yeah, I'm in a good mood today and ain't nobody gonna rain on my parade. But enough about me, let's get this FRIENDS: Season 6 party started.Not only does today mark our first step on the second half of our journey, but yesterday was also the 25th freaking anniversary of FRIENDS. That's right, kiddos, the pilot episode of the GOAT sitcom first aired on September 22nd, 1994. In other words, FRIENDS is now officially old enough to run for Congress. As you might have guessed, because of FRIEND's 25th anniversary, there has been a flurry of pop culture coverage and even a few television specials commemorating the anniversary. There's been so much coverage, in fact, it would be impossible to catalogue it all in an effort to keep with our usual practice of highlighting instances of current pop culture coverage of FRIENDS. Having said that, I do want to make a note of one 25th anniversary commemoration that looks particularly exciting. As part of the 25th anniversary hoopla, Fathom Events is putting Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, Joey, Ross, and Chandler on the big screen with Friends 25th: The One with the Anniversary. That's right, class. Starting tonight and continuing on Saturday, September 28th as well as Wednesday, October 2nd, FRIENDS will freaking be in theaters! Each night will show four episodes and will include some never-before-seen behind the scenes footage. Want a rundown of which episodes you can check out? Well, Friendsters, you've come to the right place. Tonight, you can grab a ticket to see The One Where Monica Gets a Roommate, The One with the Blackout, The One With The Birth, The One Where Ross Finds Out. On Saturday, your lineup includes The One With the Prom Video, The One Where No One's Ready, The One The Morning After, The One With The Embryos. And finally, next Wednesday you can check out The One With Chandler In A Box, The One With Ross's Wedding Part 2, The One Where Everyone Finds Out, The One Where Ross Got High. Unfortunately, already scheduled obligations are going to prevent me from attending this awesome FRIENDS event either tonight or on Saturday, but you can bet your bottom dollar that I'm going to do everything in my power to take part in the last and final night of the event next Wednesday. Now that I've sufficiently plugged FRIENDS on the big screen, lets move right into today's episode.
Season Six picks up exactly where Season Five's cliff hanger left off: an utterly hammered Ross and Rachel running out of a Las Vegas chapel immediately after tying the knot. After the newly weds have vacated the chapel, Phoebe and Joey come storming in to commiserate with Chandler and Monica (who conveniently hide the fact that they were also there to get married by pretending that they were also there for the same reason that Joey and Phoebe were: Ross invited them to watch). The next morning, Ross and Rachel wake up in bed together hung over. While they are worried about whether or not they slept together, neither has a recollection of getting married and it takes the rest of the gang questioning them about it at brunch later for the memory to come back. Of course, hilarity ensues has Rachel and particularly Ross (coming to grips with the possibly of a third failed marriage) figure out how to navigate what Rachel calls, "the world's worst hangover." Meanwhile, Monica and Chandler (both having second thoughts about rushing into marriage) get back to New York with their girlfriend-boyfriend relationship in tact but, even though they are both relieved to not be tying the knot, Chandler ups the ante when he asks to move in with Monica. A smitten Monica agrees. Finally, Joey ruins his Frenaissance with Phoebe by sleeping for extended periods of time during the car ride home from Vegas back to New York with Phoebe in her grandmother's cab. When Phoebe forces Joey to drive, he picks up a hitchhiker while Phoebe is asleep and then gets in the backseat with her to sleep some more while he lets the hitchhiker drive. When Phoebe wakes up, she is angry with Joey but quickly realizes that the hitchhiker is harmless. She then decides to play car games with the hitchhiker while shutting Joey (who's still in the backseat) out of the conversation by closing the cab's divider. Classic Phoebe. Alright, y'all. With that extensive breakdown, my boss can't accuse me of slacking off today. Season Six is going to be a doozie. Buckle up. I'll see you next week.
Recap in the Key of Phoebe - This is the one where Ross and Rachel wake up in bed together so hungover from their night out in Vegas that they don't remember that they got married, Chandler and Monica keep receiving signs that they should get married even though neither one of them is ready, Joey convinces Phoebe to drive back to New York from Vegas with him and then Phoebe gets mad when Joey sleeps the entire time she is driving, Chandler proposes moving in together as an alternative to getting married and Monica enthusiastically agrees, Ross tries to convince Rachel to stay married because he doesn't want to become Three Divorce Guy, Rachel refuses and demands that Ross get them an annulment, and Ross admits to Phoebe that he lied to Rachel about the annulment and that (unbeknownst to Rachel) they are still married after Phoebe and Joey gets back to New York from their Frenaissance.
Gandalf Gaffes - None. Flawless episode!
Chan Man Quip of the Week - [The Setup] Ross and Rachel have just arrived to join the rest of the gang at the breakfast buffet in Vegas. The newlyweds seem oblivious to the fact that everyone else is staring at them. Finally, after pouring some coffee, Ross notices and asks, "What?" In response, Chandler asks, "Are we gonna talk about what you guys did last night? Or..." Confused, Rachel looks over at Ross and says, "I don't know." She then turns to everyone else and timidly says, "What do you mean last night? Nothing, nothing uh, happened last night." Ross backs Rachel up with, "Yeah." Phoebe counters with, "Uh-huh! Ross invited us all to watch." Assuming that Phoebe is suggesting that Ross invited them all to watch her and Ross in bed, Rachel turns to Ross stunned and gives him an angry glare. Monica interjects with, "Rach! We weren’t gonna miss our friends getting married!" Rachel gasps and Ross also looks shocked as Rachel asks, "Who got married?!" Realizing that Ross and Rachel are probably experiencing memory loss from last night's drunken bender, Chandler gently answers, "You did." Ross fires off a reactionary and defensive response, claiming "What?! Hello! We didn’t get married." Piling on, Rachel joins in with "No, we didn’t get married! That’s ridiculous!" After the initial reaction dusts settles, Ross and Rachel turn to look at each other and after a moment, both gasp as they start remembering in unison. Ross admits, "We-we-we—I remember being in a chapel." Also gaining clarity, Rachel cries out, "Oh my God." Continuing to struggle between denial and acceptance, Ross declares, "I—They would not let us get married when we were that drunk!" Rachel agrees, "No!" Ironically, the voice of reason, Joey counters, "They let you get married when you’re drunk! Most people who get married in Vegas are drunk!" Offering hilarious TMI, Phoebe says, "Hell, I’m drunk right now!" After everyone turns to look at her, she defensively continues, "What? I can’t have a mimosa with breakfast?! I’m on vacation!" Redirecting the conversation back to Ross and Rachel, Monica asks, "What are you guys gonna do?" Looking at Ross, Rachel answers, "Well, I guess we just find a divorce lawyer?" [The Knockout] Unable to resist the opportunity to level a friend with his already loaded quip canon, Chandler fires off, "Well, I think, I think, Ross already has one. Now, this one’s free, right? Because you paid for the first two, so the third one’s free."
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