Killing Me Softly
Season 2, Episode 5
Friends S2:E5 - Strumming my pain with his fingers (one time), singing my life with his words (two times). [I know what you're thinking. You're thinking you want to complete that melody, aren't you? It's okay, you can keep going...] Ken Adams is killing me softly with his blog. Killing me softly with his blog. Telling my Friends life with his words, killing me softly with his blog. Thanks, valued reader. Those were some great substitute lyrics you came up with on the fly in order to use a Fugees song to celebrate your favorite blog writer. I'm humbled by your warmth and creativity. Welcome, welcome. I hope this splendid Monday evening finds you well. I'm doing okay, myself, however (if I may be honest) I'm a little bummed out today because the Chicago Cubbies fell into an 0-2 hole last night against the New York Mets in the NLCS (National League Championship Series). In case you're wondering, no...I'm not bummed out because I'm a huge fan of the Chicago Cubs (although I did like them a lot when I was a kid during the Ryan Sandberg era). The reason I'm bummed out that the Cubs are behind in the series is because (as we discussed a few weeks back) I'm a huge fan of the Back to the Future trilogy. Indeed, Back to the Future fans have a lot riding on this series. As we all know, Marty discovers in Back to the Future Part II that the Chicago Cubs have won the 2015 World Series. Can you imagine how insane it would be if the prognostications made by Robert Zemeckis and Bob Gale way back in 1989 actually came true? It would be bananas (b-a-n-a-n-a-s) if the Chicago Cubs ended their 106 year championship drought in the same year that is was foretold in Back to the Future. So, yes (and sorry Mets fans)...I'm rooting for the Cubbies to go all the way. What an unbelievable feather it would be in the cap of one of the greatest movie trilogies of all-time to have correctly predicted the year that the Cubs' championship drought would end. This has got to happen. So while I'm a little bummed that Chicago came up empty in Games 1 & 2 in New York, they are returning to Wrigley Field for Game 3 tomorrow in Chicago and I have a sneaking suspicion that their bats are going to wake up and propel the team of destiny back into the series. I might be totally off base here (shameless double entendre) but these "life imitating art" situations seem to have a funny way of working themselves out. Whether or not we can rely on the universe to intervene on behalf of Chicago, it's better to be safe than sorry. So, I'm getting behind the Cubs 100 percent and (on behalf of Back to the Future fans everywhere) let me say on the record, "Go Cubs, Go!"
Speaking of Back to the Future, the countdown is in full swing. We are less than two days away from Back to the Future Day. (I told you I would circle back to this when we discussed it a few weeks ago.) Thinking back to my childhood, it is pretty remarkable to know that October 21st, 2015, a day that I remember seemed so far into the future back in 1989 when I first saw BTTFII, is finally arriving. I remember as a child imagining what my life would be like on Wednesday. Of course I was envisioning the flying cars that the movie predicts, but another thing that I remember imagining is that I would have kids of my own by now. Well, the 36 hour window that is left for something crazy to happen notwithstanding, the jokes on you...childhood me. I'm 36 years old and yet to travel down that road. My wife and I discuss the topic regularly and to date the consensus has been, "Roads? Where we're going, we don't need roads." I'm sure we'll need a road eventually, but probably not in time to coincide with 2015 of my childhood imagination. But I digress, the larger point is that Wednesday is coming, and coming fast. It will be a day to celebrate an historic timestamp in American cinematic history and reflect on the similarities to and differences from Back to the Future's interpretation of October 21st, 2015. Flying cars? Nope. Rehydrating pizzas? Not a chance. Hover boards? Umm, sort of...I guess. USA Today News Drones? Pretty close. Power-lacing Nikes? Life imitating art. Official trailer for Star Wars: Episode VII? Okay, so this wasn't in Back to the Future but the trailer was just released as I've been writing this post and as a pop culture writer, I would be doing you a disservice if I didn't find a way to include the link so ✔. 2015 World Series Champion Chicago Cubs? Right there for the taking. On behalf of Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, Ross, Chandler, and Joey (who have graciously yielded their time to Marty McFly and Doc Brown in this portion of their weekly post), I would like to say "GO CUBS, GO" once more. And once more, I apologize to all the New York Mets fans out there. It's nothing personal...you're just going up against the weight of 26 years of cinematic history and 106 years of baseball misery. But hey, I always say...don't get mad, get even. If fate is indeed against you over the next several days and the Cubs do storm back to win the series, theres nothing stopping a Mets fan from writing a movie, setting the movie in 2045, and inserting a scene where the main character (lets call him Party McSwim) discovers that the Mets have won the 2045 World Series. Remember that kids. Don't get mad, get even. Happy Back to the Future Day on Wednesday and on to the recap. Killing 'em softly? ✔
Recap in the Key of Phoebe - This is the one where Monica gets a promotion at work to head lunch chef, Chandler manipulates a model in order to sleep with her, Rachel, Phoebe, and Joey communicate concerns about not having enough money to do things like Ross' birthday hoopla, Ross goes to see the Hootie and the Blowfish concert with Chandler and Monica (after Rachel, Phoebe, and Joey decide not to accept the tickets that were purchased for them) and Monica winds up receiving a hicky from a blowfish afterward, and as cold as a verse of "Killing Me Softly," Monica receives the news over the phone that she's been fired for accepting the kickback of 5 steaks and an egg plant.
Gandalf Gaffes - None. Flawless episode!
Chan Man Quip of the Week - [The Setup] The gang is just finishing dinner at a fancy restaurant while celebrating Monica's promotion. Completely oblivious to the fact that Rachel, Phoebe, and Joey had scrimped on ordering so as to spend as little money as possible, Ross is working on dividing the check six ways. While finishing his calculation, he announces, "Plus tip, divided by six. Ok, everyone owes 28 bucks." Also oblivious to the cost-cutting efforts of some of his friends, Chandler agrees, "Okay." Rejecting the notion that check should be split evenly six ways, Rachel chimes in, "Um, everyone?" Appearing to recognize the dilemma, Ross responds, "Oh, you're right, I'm sorry." Relieved by Ross' willingness to recalibrate, Joey responds, "Thank you." However, Ross continues, "It's Monica's big night, she shouldn't pay." Monica expresses her gratitude by telling Ross, "Oh, thank you!" Ross continues his calculation, figuring "So five of us is, $33.50 apiece." Fed up, Phoebe lashes out, "No, huh uh, no way, I'm sorry, not gonna happen." [The Knockout] Chandler, reacting to Phoebe's adamant refusal to divide the check five ways, remarks, "Whoa, whoa, prom night flashback."
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Just Do It
Season 2, Episode 2
Friends S2:E2 - Greetings, Pheobes and Pheobos. How is everyone doing this fine Monday evening? I'm having a splendid day if I do say so myself. (Thanks for asking.) As I reported last week, I'm no longer experiencing the dread of writing this column that had been an overwhelming burden for me last season. My new philosophy this year (for when there is a post to be written) is to put my game face on, sit down at my computer, and (like James Harden deciding what sneakers to wear out of the house in order to go to the bank and cash a $200 million check from Adidas) just do it. Speaking of the Nike slogan, here's a random observation. As hard as it may be to imagine, we have now entered the fall of 2015, which is the very same time period that Marty McFly, Doc Brown, Jennifer Parker, and Einstein traveled to from 1985 in Back to the Future Part II. In regards to today's episode of Friends, this is neither here nor there but I find it fascinating when considering how far into the future 2015 seemed to me in 1989 when I first watched the movie as a kid. While Robert Zemeckis' prediction of flying cars clearly didn't come to fruition, the 2015 that he imagined did get a few things right. For one, hover boards exist now...sort of. Also, the sweet Nikes with power laces that Marty wears after arriving in 2015 Hill Valley are becoming quite a remarkable example of life imitating art. In case that isn't enough, I've got another potentially juicy prediction from the movie about 2015 that could still come true. While walking around future Hill Valley, Marty discovers that the Chicago Cubs have won the 2015 World Series. Coincidentally, the Cubbies (who haven't been in the postseason since 2008) have already miraculously clinched a playoff spot for the upcoming postseason. How cool will it be if they get hot in October and win their first World Series since 1908 in the same year that Back to the Future Part II suggests that they will? I guess we'll know soon enough. On that note, I should probably move on from Back to the Future. After all, even though it's quickly approaching...we're still a few weeks away from Marty and company's 2015 appearance. The exact date that they travel into the future is October 21, 2015. Perhaps we can explore my fascination with the Back to the Future interpretation of 2015 more when that magical day finally arrives, but for now...it would probably be wise for me to get back to the matter at hand.
Coming off of last week's episode, the Friends character most in need of a time machine is Rachel. (You better believe it...I found the perfect segue back to today's episode of Friends.) After suffering through the pain of seeing Ross and Julie together, I'm sure Rachel would have jumped at the opportunity to borrow Doc's DeLorean so she could travel back to the week before Ross' China trip and begin a relationship with Ross that would preempt him starting one with Julie. However, unfortunately for Rachel, Christopher Lloyd was not a guess star on today's episode and it doesn't appear that The West Wing's Ainsley Hayes is going to be much help in the time travel department. Therefore, Rachel is left to suffer with the agony of having front row seats to Ross' blossoming romance with Julie. And to add insult to injury, this week she has to deal with adjusting to the idea of Monica spending time with Julie as well. When Rachel discovers a lunch receipt for over $50 after Monica claimed to have gone to lunch alone, the two have it out in a hilarious scene in which Monica's plutonic relationship with Julie is comedically framed to illicit a reaction from Rachel that one would expect to be the result of the type of jealousy that is created in relationships of the romantic variety. Will Monica and Rachel be able to make up after their fantastic Julie fight? Find out in the recap below. And for more exemplary Friends analysis...tune in next week a.k.a THE FUTURE (he says in a slightly deranged Doc Brown voice). Great Scott.
Recap in the Key of Phoebe - This is the one where Monica tries to keep her friendship with Julie a secret from Rachel, Ross struggles with the challenge of tasting Carol's breast milk, Joey battles Hombre Man for the affection of a woman and also for respect in the workplace, Chandler counsels Joey on how to handle his duel with Hombre Man, Phoebe covers for Monica by lying to Rachel about Monica's shopping trip with Julie, Monica assures Rachel that hanging out with Julie could never replace her friendship with Rachel, and Ross finally overcomes his fear of breast milk by grabbing the bottle and deciding to just do it.
Gandalf Gaffes - None. Flawless episode!
Chan Man Quip of the Week - [The Setup] The gang (minus Rachel) is hanging out at Monica and Rachel's apartment when Carol and Susan arrive to pick up Ben. Phoebe informs Carol and Susan that Ross freaked out when she tasted Carol's breast milk. When Ross defends himself by asserting that breast milk is gross, Carol responds by asking, "My breast milk is gross?" Noticing the looming awkwardness, Susan interjects, "This should be fun." Ross (hoping to recover from issuing the perceived slight) responds, "No, no, Carol.There's nothing wrong with it. I just, I just don't think breast milk is for adults." [The Knockout] Chandler, never one to hold back from sticking his nose in, observes "Of course the packaging does appeal to grown-ups and kids alike."