Kenny the Copy Guy
Season 6, Episode 8
Friends S6:E8 - I'd been running this scam for two years now and up until this point, it had been working beautifully. I've gotten two administrative assistants, one accountant, and half a dozen random visitors in the office to sleep with me by pretending to be a a big shot here at Ralph Lauren. The scam is always different, that's part of the beauty of it. I'll tell one woman I'm a designer, another I'm an Executive Vice President, another I'm a trust fund baby that sits on the Board of Directors. Hell, I even bedded Kim, that high level executive last year by pretending to be Ralph Lauren's nephew working in the mail room on a summer internship between semesters at Harvard. Woman are so naive it doesn't really matter what you tell them as long as you project a combination of power, privilege and wealth. I knew it was a risk but the minute Rachel's friend walked into the copy room, she was just so blonde and I could just sense she was extremely gullible that on an impulse, I just decided to go for it. Maybe it was the thrill I was getting from the boldness of the play or maybe it was just me letting my resentment that I was never able to add Rachel herself to my list of conquests (Rachel is soooo hot, by the way) but for whatever reason, I decided to introduce myself to Rachel's friend Phoebe as Ralph Lauren, himself. Of course, my instincts were correct. She bought it hook, line, and sinker. Within minutes of introducing myself to her as Ralph Lauren, we were making out right there in the copy room. After our make out session, I got her number so we could meet up later to take things to the next level. When I called Phoebe to hook up, she wanted to see the penthouse apartment I pretended to have (ya know, since she thought I was Ralph Lauren). Obviously I couldn't invite her over to the tiny studio apartment that I actually have (and share with two roommates) so I told her my penthouse was being renovated. She bought it and invited me over to her place. We sealed the deal that night (which was amazing, by the way...Phoebe is a firecracker in bed). After the encounter, I left and went home. I was walking on cloud nine thinking that this was my most-impressive scam to date. Unfortunately, when I went to work the next day, things started to unravel. I found out through the gossip chain that Rachel had told Kim that her friend Phoebe had made out with Ralph Lauren in the copy room and I started to panic. After all, Ralph Lauren is a married man so if this got back to him, and in defending himself against the accusation, he linked the rumor back to me, I would be almost certainly fired. Luckily, I made it through that entire day back at work without being forced to face the music. The next day, though, it got worse. Apparently, Rachel went back to Kim and pointed the finger at me having figured out (because of my long hair and the lucky hacky sack I carry with me everywhere I go) that it was me that made out with Phoebe and not Mr. Big Boss. I was officially in panic mode until I found out that because of sexual tension on the elevator between Ralph and Rachel, Kim didn't believe her! She actually believed that Rachel made up the second story about me because she thought Rachel was hooking up with Ralph to get promoted into Kim's job! Thank God Kim is so paranoid about Rachel's career ambitions. Bro, I think I'm in the clear! I gotta say, though. That was too close a call for comfort. Maybe it's time I change my ways? Yeah, I can't keep running these scams, I really need this job. So it's settled. From now on, no more trying to bed women I meet at work. Then again, on second thought... I wonder if I can convince Phoebe to convince Rachel to have a three-way with me?
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What is good, Friendsters? I hope you've enjoyed our quick dip of the toes into the world of Kenny the Copy Guy. What a tool that guy is, right? He's lucky he was operating in the late-1990s and not today. That guy is a royal Me Too monster. Hopefully, he eventually got what he and his hacky sack had coming to them. Any who, we otherwise just have some quick business to follow up and then we're off to the races heading into Thanksgiving week where next Monday, we'll be covering probably the greatest Friends Thanksgiving episode of all-time. But before we get you off in the fast lane to Turkey Town, here’s that little piece of business we need to take care of...I'm excited to announce that I've graded everyone's homework assignments and the Ross Geller: Overrated, Underrated, or Properly Rated results are in. Please see them below and otherwise, have a great week!
Ross Geller: Overrated, Underrated or Properly Rated?
Overrated: 33 percent of the vote
Underrated: 34 percent of the vote
Properly Rated: 32 percent of the vote
Monkey Lover: 1 write-in vote (thanks a pant load, Johnny)Conclusion: Ross Geller is Underrated
Recap in the Key of Phoebe - This is the one where Phoebe tells Rachel that she fooled around with Ralph Lauren while making copies at Rachel’s work, Rachel tells her boss the Ralph Lauren gossip to curry favor, Ross whitens his teeth to impress Hillary (Monica’s assistant chef) on their first date, Chandler complains to Joey that Janine is making Joey’s apartment too feminine, Monica makes Chandler do a bunch of “girlie” activities while he’s lecturing Joey about standing up to Janine, Joey learns not to eat potpourri while getting in touch with his feminine side, and Rachel finds out that (just like Phoebe) her boss had a thing with Kenny the Copy Guy.
Gandalf Gaffes - None. Flawless episode!
Chan Man Quip of the Week - [The Setup] Chandler is walking across the hall to Joey and Janine's to try to spend some "guy" time with Joey after having spent a pretty "girlie" day with Monica. When he walks in, Joey and Janine are sitting at the kitchen counter also engaged in a "girlie" activity. Joey looks up at Chandler and says, "Hey Chandler. Come on in. We’re knitting pot holders." [The Knockout] Chandler (who is already irritated by the feminine changes that Janine has made to Joey's apartment) glares at them and snaps, "No thanks, Josephine." He promptly turns and leaves Joey and Janine's apartment.
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Naked Thursdays
Season 6, Episode 3
Friends S6:E3 - Wanted. Female roommate. Non-smoker. Non-ugly. What it do, Friendsters? Do you know anyone who needs a place? Just kidding. Your humble servant Kenny A. doesn't actually need a roommate. And even if I did, this would be a terrible time to interview prospects since I'm just getting over a vicious cold (there's probably still lots and lots of wicked germs at my place). Speaking of the cold I finally just fought off... regretfully, I must report that (because of my illness) I was unable to make it to a theatre to attend the third night of Friends 25th: The One with the Anniversary. I'm pretty bummed that because of schedule conflict on the first two nights and then my cold, I wasn't able to take part in this massive celebration of the GOAT sitcom at all. ? It would've been pretty cool to have had the experience of seeing Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, Joey, and Ross on the big screen. Oh well, life goes on. Normally, class...I would ask you all if you were able to take part in any of the three nights of Friends 25th and if so, ask you to report back. But seeing as how I've just described how regretful I am to have missed it, hearing your experiences from it will likely just bum me out more. What do you say we just move on instead? Thanks, y'all. You're the best.Before we move into our discussion on this week's episode, I just wanted to mention another pop culture FRIENDS reference associated with the 25th anniversary that I didn't catch two weeks ago (just stumbled across it a couple of days ago) but now that's it's on my radar, I thought it was interesting enough to be worth mentioning. So, the FRIENDS reference I want to highlight today is the Ralph Lauren x Friends: 25th Anniversary campaign. In this campaign, the designer clothing company uses models to recreate the iconic FRIENDS opening credits at the fountain. Ralph Lauren also does a photo shoot at Central Perk with the models. (Side note: Ralph Lauren's ad campaign seems eerily similar to the JAY-Z video that used black actors to recreate a Friends episode a couple of year ago. We covered JAY-Z's reimagining in Fine By Me.) I'm not really that into fashion (shocker, I know) so had it been almost any other designer, I wouldn't have given too much thought to a fashion ad campaign that had models recreating iconic FRIENDS content. However, I actually thought this was pretty cool because it was Ralph Lauren. As any self-respecting FRIENDS fan knows, Rachel Green worked for several seasons at Ralph Lauren. Not only that, but Ralph Lauren himself actually makes a cameo on the show in...SPOILER ALERT...S6:E8...The One with Ross' Teeth. So more on that in six weeks, on November 18th to be precise. Anyway, the larger point that I'm trying to make is that I think the Ralph Lauren 25th Friends Anniversary ad campaign is cool because of the company and founder's history with the show, it's a poetic little tasty offering of art imitating life imitating art. And I guess (in my best Forrest Gump voice) that's all I have to say about that.
Today's episode finds our heroes grappling with the implications of Monica and Chandler moving in together. For example, one implication of Monica and Chandler moving in together is that Joey needs a new roommate. To solve that problem, Joey takes out an ad in the newspaper which allows him to interview non-smoker, non-ugly, nineteen year old female prospective roommates. Ladies, her's a pro tip: if you want to live with Joey Tribbiani, make sure you're on the same wavelength with him in regards to doggy associations. Another implication of Monica and Chandler moving in together is Rachel has to find a new place to live. After turning down Joey's offer to move in across the hall because of Naked Thursdays and losing the opportunity to sublet Ross' co-worker's apartment, Rachel lands on moving in with Ross. Phoebe, who is still pestering Ross about him being secretly still in love with Rachel, of course thinks this is a terrible idea. Finally, the last implications of Monica and Chandler moving in together is that they will have a spare bedroom that they need to figure out what to do with. Since Chandler wants a game room and Monica wants a guest room, predictably...they get in a massive fight and silliness ensues. As much as I enjoy all of the silliness, I think that this is a fine a place to wrap up for the week as any. What's that, Johnny? No, I told you I don't want to hear how awesome it was to see FRIENDS on the big screen. Why would you bring that up again? You're dismissed, Johnny. See you next week. What a punk ass, class. Now that he's gone, the rest of you are dismissed as well. See you next week. Lates.
Recap in the Key of Phoebe - This is the one where Rachel has to find a new place to live, Monica and Chandler get in a fight about what to do with their spare bedroom, Phoebe continues to pester Ross about his secret love for Rachel, Joey determines that the opposite of him (a guy who's not nineteen) is in fact a girl who is nineteen and decides to put out an ad to find a non-smoker, non-ugly nineteen year old female roommate, Ross offers to have Rachel move in with him (because he's secretly still in love with her), and Rachel accepts Ross' offer in order to avoid living with Joey and being required to participate in Naked Thursdays.
Gandalf Gaffes - None. Flawless episode!
Chan Man Quip of the Week - [The Setup] Chandler comes over to Monica's to try to make up after the fight about what to do with the spare bedroom. He says hi and Monica reciprocates. Chandler clumsily breaks the ice with, "Hi, listen, I’m sorry about before. I don’t need to have a game room. I mean, when I was a kid I only played those games because I couldn’t get girls, and now I can...‘em...now, I have you. (Chandler notices that Monica is glaring and knows he's digging himself a hole.) Not-not that I think that I have you or think of you as property in any sort of way, I see women..." Monica interrupts, cutting him off with, "Stop it, Chandler. I’m sorry too." Surprised, Chandler asks, "Really?" Monica responds, "Yeah! Oh yes!" Relieved, Chandler says, "Ohh." Monica continues, "Listen, we don’t have to make that a guest room, we can think of something to do with the room together." Chandler excitedly responds, "That’s a great idea! We can easily think of a way for us both to enjoy the room." Monica egress, "Totally!" They experience and awkward silence as they both start trying to think of a way for them both to enjoy the room. After a moment, realizing that they're both stumped, Chandler declares, "We don’t have to come up with this now." Relieved, Monica says, "Oh, good." Moving on, Chandler says, "Hey, ya know what? Why don’t we think about changes we can make in the living room?" Defensively, Monica asks, "Changes?" Chandler answers, "Yeah, I mean we’re gonna have to move around some furniture to make room for my chair." He kisses Monica and then walks into the living room to brainstorm where his chair will go. Monica follows him and alarmed, asks, "You’re-you’re-you’re gonna bring the Barca Lounger over here?" Chandler answers her question with a question, wondering, "Is that a problem?" Grandstanding, Monica says, "Well, it’s a set and they should probably stay together." Problem-solving her suggestion, Chandler offers, "Oh, that’s cool. Then I’ll just bring them both over." Becoming more irritable, Monica continues grandstanding with, "See now-now you’re taking them away from their home." [The Knockout] Fed up with all of his ideas being shot down, Chandler erupts like a volcano of sarcasm and claps back with, "Okay, I get it. So, I get nothing! Nothing here is mine! Everything here is yours! I’ll get up in the morning, put on your clothes, and head off to work!"
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Headline GIF Source: Confession of a Watery Tart