Rock-paper-scissors
Season 2, Episode 18
Friends S2:E18 - Jumpman, Jumpman, Jumpman, them boys up to something. They just spent like two or three weeks out the country. Them boys up to something, they just not just bluffing. We've been Spring Break chilling and hard to find, like woo. But now we've reemerged back on that Friends grind, like woo. And our squad just hit that Ginobilii on the Warriors hype, like woo. Ha, ha, yes! It feels so good to be back in the mix. How is everyone? You good, my Friendsters? If you all enjoyed our time apart one tenth as much as I did, then you're definitely good. I've just returned from an undisclosed tropical location, having just spent some much needed beach time with some fellow theLeftAhead contributors (who shall remain nameless) plotting top secret future plans for the site. It was a spectacular trip but now that I'm relaxed and refreshed, I'm glad to be getting back to the work at hand. So let's get back in the swing of things, shall we? When last we left our compadres, Joey was trying to come to terms with the fact that Chandler had moved on to a new roommate. This week we discover that maybe Chandler actually rushed into rebounding with Eddie a little too quickly. That's right, kiddos. Eddie, our new friend of a Friend, is grade a Looney Toon. When you have a roommate that thinks a Goldfish cracker is a pet and steals the soles of your shoes, it's safe to say that one flew over his cuckoo nest. By the end of today's episode, not only is Chandler "terrified to his very soul" of his new roommate, but I think that we can reasonably assume that he won't be looking to meet people in the ethnic food section of his local grocery store anymore.
While Chandler deals with his psychotic roommate, Monica and Rachel also find themselves in a pickle this week across the hall. After Phoebe "accidentally" reports to Richard at Central Perk that Monica has had a lot of sexual partners, not only do she and Richard need to have a discussion about her magic number, but it also prompts Ross and Rachel to have a discussion about Rachel's magic number. Both discussions momentarily turn heated but then get resolved with both couples getting all hot and bothered and ready for some action. Monica and Richard tell each other "I love you" for the first time leading them to want to be intimate while Ross is determined to demonstrate to Rachel that he is capable of satisfying her desire for "animal sex." Both Rachel and Monica rush out to the bathroom to get a condom before continuing their respective sexual encounters only to discover that there is only one condom left. While they ultimately settle on a game of Rock-paper-scissors as a way to decide who gets the last condom, I really think Rachel should have just bowed out and given the condom to Monica in this situation. Since Richard and Monica had just told each other "I love you" for the first time, Rachel should have had the thoughtfulness to realize that that was a big moment for them and allowed them to be the ones to have the condom. That was clearly a bigger deal than Ross proving to Rachel he could compete sexually with Paulo. Also, last time I checked, our Friends live in New York City. There are bodegas on every corner that are open 24 hours a day. Are you telling me that neither couple was capable of sending someone down the stairs to the street to buy a new box of condoms? I mean, really, Richard and Ross? Are the two of you so lazy? I'm tempted to flag this storyline with a Gandalf Gaffe because the idea of a red-blooded American male forgoing sex rather than walking the 500 feet down to a bodega outside the building is unrealistic, it's almost downright completely not believable. Anyway, that's my two cents on the matter. On that note, let's head on to the recap. It definitely feels good to be back in the swing of things. I'm looking forward to the Season Two stretch run. Catch you on the flip.
Recap in the Key of Phoebe - This is the one where Monica and Rachel are forced to tell their boyfriends (Richard and Ross, respectively) how many sexual partners they've had after Phoebe tells Richard that he's her favorite of all of Monica's MANY boyfriends, Chandler discovers that his new roommate Eddie is a psychopath, Joey's character (Drake Ramoray) gets killed off of Days of Our Lives after Joey tells Soap Opera Digest that he writes his own lines for the show, and Monica and Rachel decide who gets to have a night of romance with their boyfriend (i.e. who gets the last condom in the box) through a game of Rock-paper-scissors.
Gandalf Gaffes - None. Flawless episode!
Chan Man Quip of the Week - [The Setup] The gang sans Joey is hanging out at Monica and Rachel's apartment. Chandler is explaining to the group how much his new roommate is creeping him out. He reports, "So, when I woke up this morning, he'd stolen all the insoles out of my shoes." Monica asks, "Why?" Chandler nervously responds, "Because he thinks I slept with his ex-girlfriend and killed his fish." Continuing the line of questioning, Phoebe asks, "Why would you kill his fish?" [The Knockout] With all of the glory of a Norman Bates or Patrick Bateman, Chandler answers, "Because sometimes, Phoebe, after you sleep with someone, you have to kill the fish."
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Mr. Johnny New Eggs
Season 2, Episode 17
Friends S2:E17 - What's good, Friendsters? Welcome, welcome to another edition of theLeftAhead's 236 part series Friends 20/20. We're honored to have you and glad you could spare a few moments on this beautiful Monday to reminisce upon all of the hilarious hijinks of yet another episode of the GOAT sitcom. I can't lie. As much progress as I've made this year at demonstrating my professionalism (as well as my commitment to this project) to the boss man, Ted James, I feel compelled to tell you that I'm really excited I'll be on Spring Break for a month after today's post. It's more than fair to say that I'm looking forward to leaving my laptop at home and hitting the beaches of an undisclosed tropical location to kick back for a few weeks and alleviate all of the stress that comes from working my hectic schedule of three hours a day, one day a week, 24 weeks a year. For those of you who have been following this series closely over the past 18 months, you probably already know that I have a tendency to get a little antsy right before a break. I won't say that I will be mailing this posts in, but rather...I'll just say that I will be leaning towards brevity with today's happenings.That beings said, one way to keep it short and sweet this week is to run back a gimmick that really seemed to work for us last week. But before we get to that, I just want to quickly reference an important cameo in today's episode. Adam Goldberg appears in The One Where Eddie Moves In as Eddie a.k.a. Mr. Johnny New Eggs (Chandler's new roommate). Why is this cameo important, you might ask? Goldberg is the first of a series of actors from the movie Dazed and Confused to make a cameo on Friends. I wanted to get this on the official record because we will be discussing this interesting little factoid in more detail later on in our blog series. Okay, now that we've gotten that out of the way, back to last week's successful gimmick. We received a lot of positive feedback on our inclusion of the video of Vanessa Bayer's SNL impression of Rachel. It seems that our audience responds positively to us including instances of our beloved Friends characters popping up in the contemporary pop culture landscape. Based on this positive feedback, we've decided to make a concerted effort to chronicle as many of these current pop culture Friends tributes in real time as possible. Unfortunately, when we reconvened this past fall for Season 2, we missed reporting on a pretty major one that happened while we were on our summer hiatus. It's fair to say that when one of the Friends actors appears on stage in character with the biggest pop star in the world, it is a big fucking deal. Well, that's exactly what happened when Lisa Kudrow appeared in character as Phoebe Buffay at the Staples Center in Los Angeles to perform Smelly Cat with Taylor Swift on Auguest 26, 2015. And since we failed to report on it promptly upon returning for Season 2, we thought what better time to circle back to it than the episode when Phoebe records a demo and shoots a video for Smelly Cat? Watching Phoebe perform at a Taylor Swift concert in front of 20,0000 screaming fans makes it fun to image what could have been if Phoebe's record deal had propelled her to superstardom. So without further ado, ladies and gentleman...Ms. Phoebe Buffay. Catch you when we begin again.
Recap in the Key of Phoebe - This is the one where Joey is jealous of Eddie (Chandler's new roommate that he met in the ethnic food section of the supermarket), Phoebe is discovered by a record company that wants to record a demo and shoot a video for Smelly Cat, Rachel is forced to play referee between Ross and Monica (who've been bickering constantly since Ross started hanging out at the girls' apartment 24/7 after he started dating Rachel), and Joey has to learn to accept that Chandler has moved on now that Mr. Johnny New eggs is in the picture.
Gandalf Gaffes - None. Flawless episode!
Chan Man Quip of the Week - [The Setup] Joey has come back over to Chandler's apartment to tell him that he's having second thoughts about moving out. Before he can get to it, though, Chandler tells Joey that he has some news and Joey realizes that there is someone else in the apartment. The new guy asks Chandler, "Hey Chan, is that Joey guy gonna come by and pick up his moose hat or should I just toss it out? Chandler responds, "Well, uh, why don't you ask him yourself. Joey, this is my new roommate Eddie." Addressing Joey, Eddie tells him, "Nice to meet ya." Joey responds, "Likewise. Uh, I'll take that." He grabs the moose hat and continues, "It's what I came for. So, this is new. Where'd you two meet?" Eddie answers, "At the uh, supermarket, in the uh, ethnic food section. I helped him pick out a chorizo." Still processing the news, Joey responds, "Wow." Chandler interjects, "Well you know, we got to talking and uh, he said he needed a place and I had a spare room." Seemingly offended, Joey questions, "Oh, now it's a spare room?" Chandler patiently answers, "Well yeah, in that it's not being used and I have it to spare." Putting the moose hat on his head, Joey hastily says, "Well I uh, got what I came for. I'll uh, I'll see you guys." [The Knockout] In an attempt to add some levity to a tense situation, Chandler asks Joey, "Hey Joe. When'd you start using mousse in your hair?"
Video Source: Shine On Media on YouTube
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Can Open, Worms Everywhere
Season 2, Episode 16
Friends S2:E16 - Aye, y'all heard about the good news? Y'all sleeping on me, huh? Had a good snooze? Wake up, Friendsters, wake up. We 'bout to get this paper. Aren't you excited? Sure, it's another Munday. But hey, at least there is new Kanye in the world. Granted, new Kanye that, in order to listen to it, you have to sign up for a 30 day free trial with a service that you have no intention of ever paying for, but new Kanye nevertheless. I digress, so how've you been? Hope you're ready for another hot take on another 20 year old episode of situational comedy. On second thought, of course you are. Why else would you be here? So let’s jump right in. Today, Joey and Chandler's friendship finds itself at a crossroads when Joey's Days of Our Lives (or DOOL as the kids are calling it these days) costar offers him a great apartment to rent. Thinking it might be good for him to live on his own for the first time in his life, Joey confesses to Chandler that he's thinking about taking the apartment. This causes a huge fight that ultimately results in Joey moving out. I won't lie. When I first saw this episode 20 years ago, I was pretty upset about the prospect of Joey and Chandler being split apart. Their comedic chemistry as roommates was one of my favorite ingredients to the tasty new dish that was Friends and one of the primary reasons why the show had quickly become my favorite on television. Of course, unless you've been watching each episode of Friends for the first time in your life in synchronization with reading this blog series (and if so, God bless you and SPOILER ALERT), we all know that Joey and Chandler's estrangement will be short lived and that (even though they aren't eternally bound together like Bert and Ernie) these two legendary roommates will soon be reunited. Regardless, when watching it for the first time, seeing the pair broken up so that Joey could live the soap star lifestyle and "find himself" was quite a traumatic experience for me.
Today's episode also finds Rachel accompanying Phoebe on an adventure to both get their first tattoo. Rachel (a perennial pushover) relents to Phoebe's peer pressure and gets a small heart tattooed on her hip despite being unsure about getting it because she thinks Ross will disapprove. Indeed, she succumbs to Phoebe's full court press that Ross, in fact, does not equal boss only to come to find out later that Phoebe has wimped out of holding up her end of the bargain. Phoebe, who had acted like the tough one heading into the tattoo parlor, was unable to stomach the needles in order to get a lily tattooed on her shoulder. Speaking of Rachel the flighty pushover, in an amazing turn of events, she appeared this weekend, unexpectedly, back on the network that she called home for ten years. That's right boys and girls, if you were watching Weekend Update on Saturday Night Live this past Saturday, you were in for a big treat when Vanessa Bayer showed up at the Update Desk to do an amazing impression of Jennifer Aniston's iconic character. My words can't do justice to the utterly hilarious job that Bayer did impersonating Rachel. So, rather than waxing poetic about its brilliance for any extended amount of time, I thought the best thing to do is to embed the video in this post and wrap up my musings for today by allowing you to watch it (or rematch it) for yourself. Enjoy the week. See you next Monday when I'll be back looking for my real Friends. How many of us?
Recap in the Key of Phoebe - This is the one where Joey and Chandler attend a party at Joey's Days of Our Lives costar's apartment only to find out that the apartment is available to rent, Phoebe convinces Rachel to get a tattoo (even though Rachel is hesitant to do it because she thinks Ross will not approve), Monica tells her parents about dating Richard while attending her father's birthday party with Richard and Ross, Ross (in the end) decides that Rachel's tattoo is sexy, and a can is open (worms everywhere) when Joey tells Chandler that he is moving out to take his costar's great apartment.
Gandalf Gaffes - After a long drought without a Double G, it's tempting to consider the fact that we are going back-to-back with gaffes in consecutive episodes a mini-streak. In today's episode, our beloved Friends writers offer up an age continuity transgression for us to digest. Whose age are we calling into question? Forget about it, it's Joey Tribbiani. The dust up occurs when Joey admits to Chandler that he's considering moving out of the apartment and taking the place that his co-star is giving up. Joey informs Chandler that he's 28 years old and never lived alone and that is the reason he feels like he needs to at least try it to have had the experience. This is all well and good except for one small problem. Less than a year early in The One With the Birth (S1:E23), Joey first established his age in a way that makes this a contradiction. In that episode, Joey was at the hospital to support Ross during the birth of Ben when he meets a pregnant woman named Lydia who was at the hospital all alone. Joey quickly befriends her and decides to support her during her birth. At one point, Lydia puts Joey on the phone with her mom and Joey informs Lydia's mom that he's 25 years old. (By the way, this establishes that Joey is the youngest of our Friends, one year younger than Monica and Rachel whose ages have been established as 26 by this point.) Obviously, even though time is somewhat fluid in the Friends timeline, there is no way that Joey could have aged from 25 to 28 years old from an episode that aired in May 1995 to an episode that aired in February 1996. We have no choice but to "throw a flag on the play" and put Joey's age continuity issue into the official Gandalf Gaffe record. Knowing that Joey is the youngest of the gang versus thinking he is the same age as Chandler and Ross is important contextually to how we view Joey throughout the series run. For that reason, I'm ruling the haphazard changing of his age as a level three infraction.
Gandalf Gaffe #8: Joey mentions to Chandler that he's 20 years old while informing him that he's never lived alone and that he'd like to try. In S1:E23, however, while at the hospital helping Lydia give birth, Joey is put on the phone with Lydia's mom and informs her that he's 25 years old. The One With the Birth (S1:E23) takes place less than a year before The One Where Joey Moves Out (S2:E16) so if would have been impossible for Joey to have had three birthdays during that short amount of time.
Chan Man Quip of the Week - [The Setup] The gang sans Ross is at Monica and Rachel's apartment chatting when Rachel asks Phoebe if she's ready to leave. Knowing where they're headed, Monica confides, "I can't believe you guys are actually getting tattoos." Surprised to learn this information, Chandler questions, "Excuse me, you guys are getting tattoos?" Rachel answers, "Yes, but you can not tell Ross 'cause I want to surprise him." Interjecting, Joey asks, "Wow, this is wild. What're you gonna get?" Seizing the opportunity to respond first, Phoebe answers, "Um, I'm getting a lily for my Mom. 'Cause her name's Lily." [The Knockout] With a hefty heaping of the sarcasm that we've all come to know and love, Chandler observes "Wow, that's lucky. What if her name was Big Ugly Splotch?"
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Australopithecus
Season 2, Episode 15
Friends S2:E15 - And the Colorado Rocky Mountain high, I've seen it raining fire in the sky.You can talk to God and listen to the casual reply. Rocky Mountain high, Colorado. Rocky Mountain high? At this point, unfortunately, it's more like Rocky Mountain Hangover, right Colorado? Nevertheless, how bout them Broncos? Congratulations are in order to all of the football fanatics currently residing in Broncos Country. What an impressive and dominant defensive performance the latter day Orange Crush laid on the Carolina Panthers last night in Super Bowl 50. So if you're a Broncos fan, welcome and thank you for choosing Friends 20/20 as part of your hangover cure on this beautiful Monday. To everyone else, welcome as well and I hope your post-Super Bowl case of the Mundays isn't too severe. We've got another big episode to cover today, so let's get right into it. When we last left America's favorite television couple, Ross and Rachel were making out after having just watched a video the gang had discovered in Monica's old boxes that showed a Welcome Back, Kotter college version of Ross valiantly trying to save Rachel from being stood up by Chip Mathews for her high school prom. In today's episode, Ross and Rachel have established themselves as something of an item and are planning out their first official date. Of course, things veer off course when the couple finally gets to the end of said first date. Ross and Rachel arrive back at Rachel's apartment and start making out, however Rachel begins laughing at Ross when his hands veer down onto her derriere. After that, she cracks up uncontrollably every time he kisses her because she can't get the image of him grabbing her ass out of her head.While he is talking to Joey and Chandler about it the next morning, we find out that this unfortunate development has shaken Ross' confidence that he can be someone who Rachel finds sexy. But, unlike the Carolina Panthers last night, after Rachel apologizes and suggests that they try again, Ross is able to rally on the next date. He devises a brilliant plan at the museum to set an abundantly sexy mood in the planetarium and shows The One After the Super Bowl guest star Chris Isaak a thing or two about wicked games. In other words, Ross seals the deal on all of which he had been dreaming about "since like ninth grade typing." Rachel and Ross are hilariously woken from their night of passion the next morning by a group of children who are visiting the museum. Predictably, they are naked other than the blankets which they borrowed from Australopithecus. Speaking of our prehistoric ancestor, the magic of Google and Wikipedia tells me that Australopithecus lived in Africa from four million years ago to two millions years ago. They seem like a very interesting species. Ross Geller is lucky to have gotten the opportunity to research them. Also, I recently came across an eye witness account that suggests they were splendid beings. That's right, boys and girls, according to Larry King, "these guys were very easy to get along with." BOOM. Nothing like a random cheap shot out of nowhere to get the blood flowing and fight off a day-after-the-super-bowl hangover. So, with that Conan-esque joke about Larry King being old, enjoy your day Broncos Country! Like Cam Newton giving a post-Super Bowl press conference, I'm out.
Recap in the Key of Phoebe - This is the one where Rachel can't stop laughing at Ross when they're making out at the end of their first date, Joey splurges on La-Z-Boy chairs and a new TV for him and Chandler after Days of Our Lives picks up his option, Phoebe accuses Monica of being "the smitten kitten" for Dr. Richard Burke (a friend of Monica's parents) while Phoebe and Monica are catering an event at this house, and Ross and Rachel borrow blankets from Australopithecus while having a magical night together in the museum's planetarium.
Gandalf Gaffes - Gandalf Gaffes have been few and far between so far in Season Two (trust me, they will begin coming at us fast and furiously as we get further into the series). Despite how much of a scarcity they have been thus far this season, we do have one to discuss in today's episode. Our gaffe today violates a precedent that, ironically, was established just in S2:E14 (the previous episode). During the prom video, Mr. and Mrs. Geller urge Ross to offer to take Rachel to the prom. After Mr. Geller tells Ross that he has a tuxedo Ross can borrow, Ross protests, "Dad, she won't want to go with me." Mr. Geller responds, "Of course she would, you're a college man." This interaction between Ross and his father establishing that Ross is in college while Rachel and Monica are attending their high school prom sets the precedent that Ross is ahead of the girls in school. However, in today's episode, Ross makes a remark to Joey and Chandler that he has had a crush on Rachel since they were in a ninth grade typing class together. In reference to him finally getting to be with Rachel, Ross tells the guys, "I've been wanting this since like ninth grade typing." The insinuation is that Ross and Rachel were in a 9th grade typing class together when Ross first developed a crush on her. Since Ross was in college when Rachel was attending her high school prom, it is clearly a gaffe to suggest that they would have been in a ninth grade typing class together. I supposed one could argue that Ross was alone in the ninth grade typing class but dreaming about an eighth grade Rachel that he happened to have a crush on. To ask the audience to make this leap, however, is a bit of a stretch so we are recording this contradiction as an official gaffe, albeit a level one infraction.
Gandalf Gaffe #7: Ross tells Joey and Chandler that he's "been wanting this (to be with Rachel) since like ninth grade typing." The prom video in S2:E14, however, clearly established that Ross is a year ahead of Monica and Rachel in school and would not have been in the same typing class as Rachel.
Chan Man Quip of the Week - [The Setup] The gang is at Joey and Chandler's apartment. The girls are talking about how sexy Dr. Burke is and Rachel is telling the story of the time he kissed her while Ross is on the phone with someone from his work at the museum. Ross says into the phone, "Woah, woah, woah. Australopithicus isn't supposed to be in that display. No. No. No. Homo-habilus was erect, australopithicus was never fully erect.” [The Knockout] From his seat in the La_Z_Boy and without adjusting his glance (which is fixated on the television), Chandler hypothesizes, "Well, maybe he was nervous."
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You're My Lobster
Season 2, Episode 14
Friends S2:E14 - Howdy, cowgirls and cowboys. Long time, no see. (Considering that we last convened a short four days ago for the special Friends Super Bowl episode, let the record reflect that my previous statement was said in jest.) Regardless of proximity to our last encounter, it's great to see all of you on this lovely Monday afternoon and let me also say Happy Iowa Caucus Day! If you're a political junkie like me, you're probably way too consumed by nervous anticipation for tonight's proceedings to be too worried about dissecting an episode of television that first aired twenty years ago. The old me (and when I say old me, I mean the me that wrote Season One of this blog series) would have used something as massive as the Iowa Caucuses as an excuse to mail in today's assignment and write as little as I could possibly get away with in order to complete the post. However, considering that "The One with the Prom Video" (today's episode) is one of the most famous Friends episodes of all-time and further considering that I have grown this year into a model employee here at theLeftAhead, it would be hard to justify not doing our due diligence on this one. (Taking a moment to turn and yell over to me editor...You hear that, Mr. James? Growth.) But just because our minds are distracted by the monumental political history that stands to be made just a few short hours from now, doesn't mean we can't channel our fixation on Iowa into the work at hand. For example, both the Republican and Democrat caucuses tonight appear to be very close and will likely both end up having a runner-up that comes just short of winning. That runner-up in each party (if the results are as close as they appear that they might be) will be forced to play that miserable game we call What If. Yes, indeed. Whomever comes up just short tonight (whether it be Trump or Cruz on one side, Clinton or Sanders on the other) will be doing the torturous dance of going through every little detail of every single possible thing they could have done differently to win. What if I had done this campaign event instead of that campaign event? What if I had spent more money on grassroots GOTV instead spending more money on television ads? And so it will go for the candidates that come up just short tonight. Therefore, in honor of the pour souls who will soon be playing the What If game in Iowa, I present to you a gigantic Friends What If visa vie the following: What if Jack and Judy Geller hadn't decided to turn Monica's room into a gym?
Whenever you're ready, let's proceed down the rabbit hole. If Jack and Judy hadn't decided to turn Monica's room into a gym, then they would have never brought boxes of Monica's childhood stuff over while visiting Monica and Rachel's apartment. If Jack and Judy hadn't brought boxes of Monica's childhood stuff over while visiting Monica and Rachel's apartment, the gang would have never discovered the videotape with footage from Monica and Rachel's prom. (Do you see where I'm going here?) If the gang had never discovered the videotape with footage from Monica and Rachel's prom, Rachel would have never witnessed Ross' selfless act of getting dressed to take her to the prom. If Rachel never witnessed Ross' selfless act of getting dressed to take her to the prom, the audience would have been deprived of one of the greatest moments in (not only Friends but all of...) television history. Yes, thank you Jack and Judy Geller for putting the events in motion that led to THE KISS. What a spectacular moment. A moment so spectacular (and famous for that matter), it has already been talked about ad nauseam. So rather than blabbing on about it for any extended length of time, let me just state the obvious. This was a huge moment for the show. Sure, even if the Geller's hadn't decided to turn Monica's room into a gym, Ross and Rachel would have probably gotten together another way. After all, they are each other's lobster. But thank you Gellers that you did decide to turn Monica's room into a gym because it's hard to imagine a Friends universe that doesn't include THE KISS. So with today's important episode now thoroughly dissected through the lens of the What If game, in closing, let me just say that on a day like today (where the gravity of the Iowa Caucuses make writing a Friends blog post seem like the least important thing in the world) I want to once again thank you for staying loyal to me and this utterly crazy ten year journey that I signed us up for. I couldn't do it without your support and it's good to know that no matter how far away the finish line is or how ridiculous it sometimes seems to keep pushing forward in hopes of seeing my vision for this Friends 20/20 project through to the end, you're there continually supporting this dream. In other words, you're there serving as the Chandler financial support to my Joey acting career. "Is this friendship? I think so." On that note, good luck to all of the candidates tonight in Iowa. To those of you who end up being the unfortunate ones left playing the What If game, remember...don't pull a Howard Dean, you will live to fight another day. See you in New Hampshire.
Recap in the Key of Phoebe - This is the one where Rachel rejects Ross when he pleads with her that they are meant to be together, Joey gives Chandler $812.00 and a ridiculously gaudy bracelet as a thank you for all of the financial support he's received from Chandler over the years, Monica has to suck up her pride and tell her parents that she got fired from her job in order to try and borrow money from them, Phoebe uses a clever metaphor to encourage Ross in his attempt to rekindle the magic with Rachel, and it all pays off at the end when Rachel watches the prom video and then kisses Ross confirming that Ross was in fact right all along when he declared to Rachel, "You're my lobster."
Gandalf Gaffes - None. Flawless episode!
Chan Man Quip of the Week - [The Setup] The gang is at Monica and Rachel's apartment going through the boxes of Monica's stuff that her parents had brought over. They discover a video in the box and decide to put it on. After the gang sees Rachel in a dress, Monica realizes what the video is of and reports, "You know what this is, this is us getting ready for the prom." Rachel responds, "Oh." Looking embarrassed, Ross immediately cuts in after that pleading, "You know what, you guys, we don't have to watch this." The gang, in unison, rejects Ross' suggestion and continues to watch the video. A few seconds later, a heavier set Monica appears on the screen and Joey cries out, "Some girl ate Monica." Offended by the insult, Monica fires back, "Shut up, the camera adds ten pounds." [The Knockout] Chandler does not miss a beat in responding with one of his most famous sarcastic remarks of the entire series, questioning Monica with, "Awe, so how many cameras are actually on you?"
Get the Monkey Off Your Back
Season 2, Episode 12 & 13
Friends S2:E12 & Friends S2:E13 - Hi there, girls and boys. Welcome to a special Thursday edition of Friends 20/20. You're probably thinking that it's rather unusual to be hearing from me on a day of the week other than Monday. After all, Friends episodes originally aired on NBC on Thursdays which means that 20 years later (after a few leap years), the day of the week that coincides with the 20th anniversary of each episode's airing is Monday. However, the reason that we are currently convening on a Thursday is because today's double episode originally aired on Sunday, January 28th, 1996 immediately following Super Bowl XXX. Considering that 94.08 people watched Super Bowl XXX, it was a big deal that Friends got the nod from NBC and our juggernaut of a favorite sitcom did not disappoint, earning a 29.5 Nielsen rating while batting clean up. In fact (with 52.9 million viewers), "The One After the Super Bowl" would go on to outlast "The Last One" (52.5 million viewers) for the distinction of being the most-watched Friends broadcast of all-time. Speaking of the Super Bowl, let me begin today by congratulating the two teams that will be participating in Super Bowl 50 on February 7th. Big ups to both the Denver Broncos and the Carolina Panthers for winning their respective conferences and earning a spot in the biggest sporting event and television spectacle in the history of civilization. Awe, the Super Bowl. An adrenaline rush of pure drama that allows players and coaches of America's favorite sport the opportunity at immortality. With the entire country watching, two teams battle for sixty minutes to earn the right to have their names added to the annals of history. Win and you're a legend. Lose and you're forced to crawl back into a sea of anonymity and obscurity. This is what makes the Super Bowl so great. It is the ultimate place to get the proverbial monkey off your back.
In fact, twenty years ago today (hours before the original airing of today's double Friends episode), a monkey was squarely on the back of Barry Switzer (head coach of the Dallas Cowboys). Coach Switzer had replaced Jimmy Johnson at the helm of the legendary football franchise after Johnson had won back-to-back Super Bowls in 1993 and 1994. When Switzer made some coaching blunders to come up short against the San Francisco 49ers in the 1995 NFC Championship game during his first year as head coach of the Cowboys, many fans believed that he was inferior to Jimmy Johnson and assumed that he couldn't win the big games like his predecessor had. However, the monkey of Jimmy Johnson's success was lifted off of Barry Switzer's back when the Cowboys defeated the Pittsburg Steelers 27-17 in Super Bowl XXX. America watched Barry Switzer lift a trophy before settling in to watch our favorite television sitcom take the main stage. Ironically, Steve Young (the quarterback of the aforementioned San Francisco 49ers) had lifted a monkey off his own back during the previous year's Super Bowl. Young had replaced the legendary Joe Montana as quarterback of the 49ers in 1991. Prior to Young assuming the role of starting quarterback, Montana had led the 49ers to four Super Bowl victories between 1982 and 1990. When Young failed to lead San Francisco to the promised land in his first three seasons quarterbacking the team, it was largely assumed that he was incapable of filling Montana's shoes. Therefore, when Young was able to lead his 49ers to the big game in his fourth season at the helm and defeat the San Diego Chargers 49-26 in Super Bowl XXIX, he demonstrated quite literally that he had gotten the monkey off his back.
How does all of this tie in to today's star-studded episode of Friends? Well, first, we have the connection of this episode originally airing after the Super Bowl. Secondly, one of the main story lines finds Ross attempting to reconnect with his former pet monkey, Marcel. Ross' journey to track down Marcel takes him to the San Diego Zoo where he discovers that, not only is Marcel now working in the entertainment industry, but ironically he is also the monkey from the Can't Get the Monkey Off Your Back commercial that he and the gang had been seeing on television. On top of that, Ross would come to learn that Marcel just happened to be filming a movie in New York while he was attempting to track him down in San Diego. After returning from California, Ross brings the gang with him to the movie set to see Marcel and we are introduced to Jean-Claude Van Damme (starring in the movie and playing himself) and Julia Roberts (playing a makeup artist on the movie set). We also get celebrity cameos in this episode from Chris Isaak (playing Phoebe's love interest of the week) and Brooke Shields (playing Joey's stalker). With a 44 minutes of air time canvas to paint upon, the Friends writers did a spectacular job of interweaving our regular cast and all of the celebrity guest actors into an exciting and fun plot while also ensuring that hilarity would ultimately win the day. If anyone was still doubting the staying power of Friends halfway into Season 2, Marta Kauffman, David Crane, and the rest of the show's producers and writers silenced those remaining critics with the success of this episode and got the monkey off their backs that Friends was a mega hit show that was here to stay. With that context for the enormity of this episode established, on to the recap. Remember, next Monday is only four short days away. See you soon.
Recap in the Key of Phoebe - These are the ones where Ross attempts to reconnect with Marcel during a California business trip, Joey deals with issues that arise from dating an attractive woman who just so happens to also be a stalker, Chandler reconnects with a childhood classmate who seduces him in order to seek revenge for being teased by him as a child, Phoebe dates a guy who runs an after-school program for kids, Monica and Rachel fight over the affection of Jean-Claude Van Damme, and Ross finally gets the monkey off of his back by reconnecting with Marcel on a movie set in New York.
Gandalf Gaffes - None. Flawless episode!
Chan Man Quip of the Week - [The Setup] Chandler and Joey are in the kitchen of their apartment trying to figure out what to do for dinner when their buzzer rings. Chandler answers, "Hello?" The voice on the intercom responds, "It's Erica." Realizing who it is, a shocked Joey reports to Chandler, "Ah, the stalker." Before Joey and Chandler can respond over the intercom, however, Erica tells them, "Never mind, it's open." Realizing that she is on her way up, Joey panics and grabs a frying pan for protection. [The Knockout] Observing how ridiculous Joey looks, Chandler tells him, "Yes, hitting her with a frying pan's a good idea. We might wanna have a backup plan, though, just in case she isn't a cartoon."
Featured Image Source: PRWeb
Headline Image Source: Dallas Cowboys
Ball the Melon
Season 2, Episode 11
Friends S2:E11 - Greetings, Friends Nation. Happy MLK Day! I hope everyone is enjoying an incredible three-day weekend. After mine started horribly (when I caught a bad case of food poisoning on Friday night), I've slowly been able to rally. I was out of commission for most of the past two days, but I had a tremendous time at my local MLK Day parade this morning and my afternoon is proving to be quite lovely as well (especially because I'm getting to spend some of it with you fine people). Some being the operative word. I must admit, our time together this week is shaping up to be quite brief because I'm laser focused on completing this blog post as quickly as possible to clear the way for a much-needed vomit-free relaxing evening. My sincerest apologies, but being that this is my first day back on my feet after being holed up in bed for two days...I'm a little exhausted, not to mention a little loopy. So, now that I've served you up a big, steaming bowl of TMI, what do you say we rap about today's episode of Friends, shall we? Great! We begin with our sad clown Ross who, just when you thought he couldn't get any sadder, adds some more red lipstick to extend down his frown when he finds out his ex-wife is getting married and is forced to pile that juicy nugget on top of the Jenga puzzle of pain he's already suffering from because a series of reckless decisions that resulted in him dumping Julie for Rachel but then also losing Rachel. While Ross spends the majority of the episode moping around feeling sorry for himself, he eventually is able to save the day by being there for Carol when her bigoted parents wouldn't be. He saves the wedding by graciously standing in to give Carol away to Susan, and he saves the reception by balling the roundest and most delicious melons you'd ever want to eat. (On the off chance that you're reading this without having previously watched the episode, ball the melon is not a euphemism. Get your mind out of the gutter.)
Moving right along...the other significant milestone in this episode occurs when Joey makes his first appearance on Days of Our Lives. As we come to find out later in the series, landing the role of Dr. Drake Ramoray on DOOL will prove to be one of the most pivotal moments of Joey's acting career. In fact, this gig becomes the gig by which all other gigs are compared. Days of Our Livez (typo intended) becomes the mean that all of Joey's acting roles regress to, so to speak. From here on out (in Joey's mind), if he's acting in anything more prestigious than than a soap opera, his career is on the up-swing and if he's acting in anything less glamorous than being on day-time television, his career is in the toilet. In other words, this DOOL-ometer (if you will) becomes the mechanism Joey uses to evaluate his career. Now that I think about it, adding the DOOL-ometer as a regular part of this blog series would be a great way to keep tabs on our favorite fictional actor. (Note to Self: Begin measuring Joey's acting career on the DOOL-ometer for the remaining 201 posts left in the series). And on that note to self, I better wrap this up so I can get on to my much needed holiday weekend relaxation time. Speaking of holiday weekend, I'd be remiss if I didn't take the opportunity (in observance of Dr. King) to elevate the rhetoric and leave you today with a quote from the great reverend to chew on during the week. Dr. King once said, "It is not possible to be in favor of justice for some people and not be in favor of justice for all people." With that, have a great rest of your holiday. Talk to you on that next.
Recap in the Key of Phoebe - This is the one where Ross finds out that Carol and Susan are getting married, Rachel's mom comes to visit and informs Rachel that she's thinking about leaving her dad, Phoebe is haunted by the spirit of a massage client who died on her table, Joey makes his first appearance on Days of Our Lives, Carol and Susan hire Monica to cater their wedding, Chandler half-heartedly hits on women at the lesbian wedding, and Ross realizes that if he can attend his ex-wife's wedding and be the one to give her away, he certainly can help to ball the melon.
Gandalf Gaffes - None. Flawless episode!
Ugly Naked Guy Watch - Rachel's mom notices Ugly Naked Guy playing the cello. In pointing this out to Rachel, she describes him as "an unattractive nude man."
Chan Man Quip of the Week - [The Setup] The gang and Rachel's mom are at Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica is ordering everyone to help her prepare food for her gig catering Carol and Susan's wedding. Feeling the pressure of not having enough time to get everything done, Monica bossily barks out, "All right people, we're in trouble here. We've only got 12 hours and 36 minutes left. Move, move, move!" [The Knockout] Chandler grumpily fires back, "Monica, I feel like you should have German subtitles."
Featured Image Source: Taste.com.au
Headline Image Source: PlayBuzz
Mendelevium
Season 2, Episode 10
Friends S2:E10 - Good Monday, Friendsters and happy new year to each and every one of you. I hope everyone has shaken off the "returning to work" depression that probably set in last night after football ended (J-E-T-S...GO JETS!! Too soon?) and is having a productive first Monday of 2016. Personally, I'm happy to be back to work and I'm fired up to embark on another amazing year of writing witty and insightful pop culture content for theLeftAhead. Who knows? This year I might even venture out and take on some extra assignments on top of my Friends column. Rumor is Disney has some new space movie that is getting good word of mouth. Perhaps I should try to beat everyone else to the punch and write a post about this war in the stars thing before it catches on? At any rate, enough of my tongue in cheek posturing. Despite how much I know that you've come to enjoy my sarcasm, given that it is the first workday of the year and everyone has a thousand things on our to-do lists as well as New Year's resolutions to break before the end of business today (I mean uphold all year), I plan on keeping our first 2016 foray into the Friends universe short and sweet.When last we left our buddies, Ross was coming to terms with the fact that he'd almost had Rachel as his girlfriend, but somehow "pulled a Monica" and let her slip through his fingers during the unfortunate "pros and cons" computer incident of 1995. While he has had a few weeks to come to terms with the reality that he is not dating Rachel, Ross now has to come to terms with the idea of her dating someone else. To make matters worse, the someone else Rachel is dating is Russ, someone who is eerily similar in looks and personality to Ross. So much so that, in the words of Chandler Bing, "if we ever lose Ross, we have a spare." Luckily, Rachel's attraction to Russ is short lived. It finally dawns on her that she is dating a Ross clone because of an altercation that arises between the two doctors after Ross demonstrates a superior knowledge of the periodic table. While competing over a crossword puzzle, Ross correctly answers mendelevium to a question that Russ had incorrectly guessed dysprosium. The ensuing quarrel between the two doctors finally allows Rachel to realize how alike they are and as a consequence makes mendelevium the hero of today's episode. Thank you, mendelevium for allowing Ross to show up Russ and demonstrate to Rachel that she is going for the rebound harder than Dennis Rodman. On top of that, as it turns out, Rachel's trash is our old friend Julie's treasure. I think it's safe to say that mendelevium is Cupid's favorite element because as a result of Rachel dumping Russ...Julie and Russ have a chance encounter at Central Perk that sparks a love connection. And we here at theLeftAhead could not be happier for Julie to have found her Russ. After the way Ross Geller did her dirty to be with Rachel, we're overjoyed that Julie storyline has a happy ending. Going back to our hero (MENDELEVIUM aka THE MIGHTY MIGHTY MD) it's a new year and apparently the major issue concerning the periodic table is population control. That's right, mendelevium. While you're saving twenty-something waitresses from disastrous relationships, you better also guard your corner because Elements 113, 115, 117, and 128 have officially been relocated to the neighborhood. Will the new elements on the periodic table prove to be as heroic as our good friend mendelevium? Only time will tell. One thing is for sure. Whether it's 1996 or 2016...mendelevium is there for you.
Recap in the Key of Phoebe - This is the one where Rachel rebounds from the Ross debacle by dating a doctor who reminds people of Bob Saget, Joey is forced to decide if he is willing to use sex as a means for advancing his career, Monica convinces Fun Bobby to stop drinking which results in her dating Ridiculously Dull Bobby, Chandler gets pleasure out of meddling in the interaction between Ross and Russ, Phoebe tries to wake Rachel up to the fact that Russ is spookily similar to Ross, and Ross aka Weenie Number One gets Russ out of the picture by winning a debate about mendelevium.
Gandalf Gaffes - None. Flawless episode!
Chan Man Quip of the Week - [The Setup] Joey is at home making boatloads of marinara sauce and filling up every container with it that he can get his hands on. Chandler comes home and notices the ridiculous amount of sauce that Joey is making and inquires about what's going on. He says, "Whoa, whoa, so I'm guessing you didn't get the part, or... uh, Italy called and said it was hungry." Joey responds, "Well, the part's mine if I want it." Excited, Chandler exclaims, "Oh my God!" However, Joey continues, "Yeah, if I'm willing to sleep with the casting lady." Chandler repeats himself (this time in an exacerbated tone), "Oh my God!" Visibly distraught over his dilemma, Joey elaborates, "Ten years I've been waiting for a break like this Chandler, ten years! I mean, Days of Our Lives. That's actually on television." Chandler follows with the obvious question, "So, what're you gonna do?" Joey, seemingly torn on which direction he is leaning, responds, "Well, I guess I could sleep with her... I mean, how could I do that?" [The Knockout] Chandler (unable to allow Joey to lob a softball right over the plate) smashes it with, "Well, I... I've got a pop-up book that told me everything I need to know."
Featured Image Source: NTUU "KPI"
Headline Image Source: Chemical Elements.com
Hardball
Season 2, Episode 9
Friends S2:E9 - Deck the blog because I'm a pop culture svengali, Fa la la la la la la la la, Tis the Season Two Christmas to be jolly, Fa la la la la la la la la. My goodness, it feels good to be back on the job this week. Welcome, welcome. I hope you're as transfixed with the holiday spirit as I am this glorious Monday morning that, if I'm not mistaken, constitutes the twelfth day before Christmas. But before you go running out to purchase your true love a partridge in a pear tree, I did a little research and it turns out that The Twelve Days of Christmas is most often observed as the twelve day period beginning on Christmas Day and ending on the eve of the Epiphany rather than the twelve day period beginning today and ending on Christmas Day. Dating back to childhood, I always assumed the latter (that Christmas Day was the last of the twelve days). In other words, I assumed that my true love was giving me twelve drummers drumming on Christmas Day, not in early January during the apex of the college football bowl season (wait, then again...twelve drummers drumming during the college football bowl season? Coincidence?). I guess you learn something new every day. In my case, (as I've stated numerous times before) I've learned plenty of those new things while doing research for this blog series. For instance, did you know that Albert Einstein (a.k.a Phoebe's grandfather) was a self-taught violinist? "If you don't know, now you know." I was very pleased to uncover that juicy nugget while doing my research this past weekend. But I digress. I know that time is a precious commodity during the holiday season and you've visited the blog today to get some world class Friends analysis, not to figure out the exact day that ten lords will be leaping into your living room nor to discuss Albert Einstein's proclivity for the violin. So without further ado and in the words of Chris Matthews, "Let's play hardball."
In today's episode, we are asked to put the will they, won't they drama of the Ross and Rachel saga on the back burner and allow Phoebe to take center stage as she begins a long quest to meet her biological father and learn more about who he is as a person. Considering that she knew so little about him to begin with that she believed her grandmother's preposterous scheme to convince her that the "guy that comes in the frame" photos were in fact pictures of her father, Phoebe was quite literally starting this quest from square one. One of Phoebe's most endearing qualities throughout the series run is her desperate pursuit to establish the types of loving and supportive family relationships that were absent during her childhood. She has an endearing spirit when it comes to her handling of family members and she seems to have a remarkable reservoir of hope from which she draws the grace necessary to overlook her family members flaws and forgive those involved in dooming her to a miserable childhood. Phoebe's ongoing mission to belong to a loving family is a series long journey that is fascinating to watch as it unfolds and her attempt to visit her biological father in this episode with Joey and Chandler along for support is a big step down a path that will eventually lead her on some riveting adventures. If you want to read more about The Adventures of Phoebe Buffay - Family Explorer, you're going to have to browse back to Friends 20/20 in 2016. I've had a great year writing this blog series. I hope you've enjoyed reading it. As I've stated before, this is an organically developing project so my goal is to come back even sharper in the New Year to bring you an even better version of the provocative analysis that you've come to rely on. For now, I'm off to vacation to teach myself how to play the violin. Or not? You never know. Happy holidays to you and yours! Kenny Adams...out. Fa la la la la la la la la.
Recap in the Key of Phoebe - This is the one where Phoebe sees a picture of her father for the first time and gets his address from her Grandmother, Monica and Rachel throw a party at their apartment even though it is unbearably hot because their radiator is broken, Ross is self-conscious about the amount of gel he uses in his hair, Joey and Chandler buy Christmas presents for their friends at a gas station while supporting Phoebe on her quest to meet her father, and Mr. Treeger's scheme to kiss Rachel under the mistletoe at the party is foiled but he makes some extra money when the gang thinks he is playing hardball.
Gandalf Gaffes - None. Flawless episode!
Chan Man Quip of the Week - [The Setup] Rachel, Chandler, and Joey are decorating the Christmas tree at Monica and Rachel's apartment. Chandler begins reminiscing about his childhood, "You know, I remember my father, all dressed up in the red suit, the big black boots, and the patent leather belt, sneaking around downstairs. He didn't want anybody to see him but he'd be drunk so he'd stumble, crash into something and wake everybody up." Empathizing with him, Rachel offers, "Well, that doesn't sound like a very merry Christmas." [The Knockout] Chandler, a hint of self-loathing in his voice, responds right back, "Who said anything about Christmas?"
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Headline Image Source: QuotesGram
Twelve Megabytes of Ram
Season 2, Episode 8
Friends S2:E8 - Yo, what's good my fellow Friendsologists? Happy Monday before the Monday before Thanksgiving! I'm tremendously excited that we are rapidly approaching the holiday season. After submitting the column today, I'll be happily leaving the cozy confines of theLeftAhead offices to embark on a much needed cross-country vacation. After all, I have worked a whopping eight days so far this fall. With that type of workload, a month long vacation is just what the doctor ordered. But you didn't visit the blog today to get up to speed on my incredibly demanding work schedule. You're here to pontificate with me on what can only be described as the precursor to The Decision. That's right. Prior to native son LeBron James incredibly misguided idea to break the hearts of Ohio sports fans on live national television by choosing to take his talents to South Beach, the most notorious example in American history of a mid-twenty something male screwing the pooch so profoundly while making a tough decision was Ross Geller making his decision between being with Julie or Rachel. In the same way that is wasn't wrong for LeBron to choose the Miami Heat over the Cleveland Cavaliers but rather it was the manner in which he made the decision that amounted to a severe lack of judgement, so too was it not wrong for Ross to choose Rachel over Julie but rather it was the manner in which he made the decision that also amounted to a severe lack of judgement. Ross' first mistake was listening to Chandler's idea to make a pros and cons list of reasons to be with both Rachel and Julie. Ross' second mistake was allowing Chandler to create physical evidence of his first mistake on his brand new computer. We all knew that Ross was going to choose Rachel. Hell, even Ross (as clueless as he can sometimes be) must have known within half a second of kissing Rachel that his relationship with Julie had effectively ended. I understand that Ross cared for Julie and was probably wavering over the choice as a strategy for delaying the pain that he knew he was about to inflict upon her. But come on, writing out a pros and cons list on both women was a completely unnecessary exercise in futility (one that would come back to cost Ross quite severely). Of course Rachel found the list and of course she was deeply hurt by reading the cons that Ross came up for her. So yes, within a matter of hours Ross went from having two beautiful women madly in love with him to being heart broken and alone. That is one incredibly poorly executed decision. Way to go, Rossatron.
Speaking of Chandler's brand new computer, for whatever reason, I get a tremendous kick out of watching him brag about that technological dinosaur. In this episode, Chandler is sporting a brand new Compaq Contura and he famously brags about it having, "twelve megabytes of ram. 500 megabyte hard drive. Built-in spreadsheet capabilities and a modem that transmits at over 28,000 b.p.s." Wow, could computers in 1995 have been any more sucky? Contemporary computers are commonly equipped with 16 gigabytes of RAM. This is 1365 times the amount of RAM that Chander's laptop was equipped with in 1995. Our laptops today are routinely equipped with a 256 Gigabyte hard drive. This is 524 times the amount of storage that Chandler's laptop was equipped with in 1995. Today, even your phone and probably your watch has built-in spreadsheet capabilities and don't even get me started on how far we've come from a modem that transmits at over 28,000 b.p.s. to having LTE and Wi-fi networks that can stream digital content at lighting speeds. Nevertheless, as much as I'm clowning on mid-ninties computer technology, (as we discussed in the preceding paragraph) Chandler's Compaq Contura still had enough capability to bring down Ross Geller's love life. Thanks, Bill Gates. If it wasn't for you and your computer code that allowed for "one button" printing, Ross and Rachel might have gotten together immediately after Ross broke up with Julie and if that had happened...they might have lived happily ever after. So remember boys and girls, the next time you are re-watching Friends and start getting frustrated with having to endure through ten years of Ross and Rachel's on again, off again shenanigans...there is one man and one man alone to blame. Always remember that that man is Bill Gates. This concludes our proceeding until mid-December. I hope that all of you out there have a gluttonously fantastic Thanksgiving! Finally, on behalf of theLeftAhead...I want to extend our deepest sympathies to the people of France. Our thoughts are with Friday's victims and their families. Having said that, I'll catch up with you next month.
Recap in the Key of Phoebe - This is the one where Ross breaks up with Julie to be with Rachel, Monica gets a job creating recipes for the synthetic chocolate product called Mockolate, Joey and Chandler try to help Ross cover up the fact that Ross made a pros and cons list of dating both Julie and Rachel before ultimately choosing Rachel, Phoebe sings a song about a fictional love triangle, and Rachel is heartbroken and decides not to be with Ross after reading Ross' pros and cons list when it accidentally printed from Chandler's new computer that just happened to come equipped with twelve megabytes of RAM.
Gandalf Gaffes - None. Flawless episode!
Chan Man Quip of the Week - [The Setup] Ross, Chandler, and Joey are hanging out at Chandler and Joey's apartment. Ross is anguishing over his impending decision to choose between dating Julie or breaking up with her to be with Rachel. He is visibly moping as he complains, "I don't know what to do. What am I gonna do? I mean, this, this is like a complete nightmare." [The Knockout] Exasperated by the fact that Ross is whining about the dilemma of having to choose between two beautiful women, Chandler mockingly fires back, "Oh, I know. This must be so hard. Oh, no. Two women love me.They're both gorgeous and sexy. My wallet's too small for my fifties, and my diamond shoes are too tight."
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#SoidarityWithParis ✊️🇫🇷
Two Cats
Season 2, Episode 7
Friends S2:E7 - Hey there, fellow humans. I hope this fine Monday evening finds you well. We have quite the Friends milestone to discuss this week. That's right, you guessed it. Our long national nightmare is finally over. You can go ahead and mark it on the official score card. Ross and Rachel have finally kissed! Can you believe it? It only took 31 episodes (including one painfully long summer break) for our trusted show runners and writing staff to give the people what they want. Sure, we got the tease of a Ross and Rachel kiss as part of Rachel's day dream sequence in the Season One finale...but we already established that that doesn't really count. In today's episode, however, we've finally been treated to the real thing. I can still remember the buzz that this moment created at my school's cafeteria 20 years ago tomorrow (the day after the episode originally aired). It was all anyone wanted to talk about. Can you imagine the reaction had social media existed when this episode originally aired? I'm pretty sure that Ross and Rachel's first kiss would have broken the internet. Since instead, it occurred during the time that I was coming of age...let's just say that it most certainly broke the water cooler. And that, boys and girls, is what us Gen Xers call an iconic moment in Pop Culture history.
It's hard to believe that we have now been living in a world for 20 years in which Ross and Rachel have kissed. This was certainly an amazing moment for the show. I must say, however, as exciting and satisfying as The Kiss was, technically speaking...it does not help Ross Geller's street cred for being a nice guy. Keep in mind that when Ross and Rachel first kiss at Central Perk, he is 100 percent, unequivocally in a committed relationship with Julie. So I would be remiss to not point out that kissing Rachel while he's dating Julie is kind of a douche move on Ross's part. Especially since based on everything we know about Julie, she is a very nice person who certainly does not deserve this type of treatment. I'm sure if there were a sitcom based on the interaction of Julie and her friends, Ross would come across a lot differently than he does on our beloved show. I can see it now...Julie and her friends sitting around their favorite coffee shop talking about the jerk she's dating who didn't think twice about making out with some girl he had a crush on since high school. We will come to learn later in the series that this will not stand to be the only time that Ross exercises poor judgement in this department. But for now (every time that I watch this scene), sure part of me is overjoyed to see Ross and Rachel finally kissing but another part of me always feels bad for poor Saint Julie, the sweet paleontologist who allows herself to get chewed up and spit out by a fellow paleontologist and alumnus of her graduate school. Indeed, Ross would play the role of a short-lived villain on a sitcom made about Julie and her friends.
Before we go, we have one housekeeping matter to discuss regarding today's blog post. "Two Cats" (the title of today's post) is taken from a scene that does not appear in the syndicated version of the episode (the version you can watch on Netflix, for example), but rather from a scene that appears only in the DVD Box Set extended version of the episode. If you recall, we established early last season that our bible for establishing the sandbox that Friends 20/20 gets to play in is the DVD Box Set extended episodes. These extra scenes that were included in the DVDs often harbor important information that can help with cataloguing our Gandalf Gaffes as well as often expanding and enriching the storylines of the episodes. In today's episode, the DVD extended version includes a scene that shows Ross and Julie at an animal shelter trying to pick out the cat that they are going to own together. When Ross is having a hard time deciding which cat to choose (this is brilliantly juxtaposed with the inner turmoil he is feeling about choosing who he wants to date between Julie and Rachel), Julie proposes that they should get two cats. Ross responds to the possibility of having two cats (continuing the analogy of choosing between the two women) by saying, "I can't have two cats. Joey is the type of guy who can have two cats." Not only is this scene include a hilarious dig at Joey, but to me it seems very valuable in establishing the struggle Ross is going through in trying to figure out who he wants to be with. It's a shame that this scene was cut from the syndicated version, but luckily for us...it is fair game to cover it for our purposes. I just wanted to mention where the reference in the title of today's post comes from to clarify for anyone who may have been confused because they are following along with the syndicated version of the show. With that said, it's on to another recap. Have an excellent week and finally...I want to wish and early Happy Veterans Day on Wednesday to all of the veterans out there. Thank you for your service.
Recap in the Key of Phoebe - This is the one where (after finding out that Ross and Julie are planning to get a cat together) Rachel seeks closure on her Ross crush during a date that Monica setup for her, Monica starts working out with Chandler to help him loose weight, Ross discovers that Rachel likes him after receiving a drunken message from her, Phoebe seeks advice from Joey when a guy she is dating won't put out, and Ross and Rachel FINALLY kiss after Ross informs her that him and Julie (after narrowing it down) landed on not getting either of the two cats.
Gandalf Gaffes - None. Flawless episode!
Chan Man Quip of the Week - [The Setup] Monica and Chandler are working out in Chandler and Joey's apartment. Monica is spotting Chandler as he does sit-ups. Noticing that Chandler is looking extremely exhausted, Monica pleads, "C'mon give me five more. Five more." Looking spent, Chandler responds in utter disdain, "No." Monica, deciding to inspire a little extra motivation, counters with, "Five more and I'll flash you." Chandler, with renewed vigor, starts counting them out as he attempts to meet the request, "One, two." Noticing that he is not going to make it all the way up on the third one, he counts out, "Two and a half." [The Knockout] After falling back to the floor completely spent, Chandler makes a very logical request, "Okay, just show me one of them."
Headline Image Source: The New York Times
From the Top
Season 2, Episode 6
Friends S2:E6 - "There'll be no strings to bind your hands, not if my love can't bind your heart. And there's no need to take a stand, for it was I who chose to start." Is it just me, or have you also noticed that Angel of the Morning has been forever tattooed in your brain because of Friends. I find the song just randomly popping into my head, for absolutely no reason whatsoever, at the most random times. I could be in the middle of giving a presentation on the difference between pre-click and post-click email monetization to an auditorium full of digital media consultants and then...BAM. Out of no where, my brain is bellowing, "Just call me angel of the morning, angel. Just touch my cheek before you leave me, baby." It can be quite distracting. No matter. We must fight through it and persevere. After all, there's a blog post to write. So how you doing? It's been two weeks since we last convened and I'm feeling super refreshed and recharged. Not only did we have the much needed week off last week but on top of that we were granted an extra hour of sleep yesterday morning. It was magnificent! I love Fall Back Day. And this year it even fell on Halloween night? It doesn't get any more perfect than that. So, yes. I'm rested and ready to do this thing. We've got special guest musical performances in today's episode. We've got mishaps with kiwi fruit in today's episode. And, to top it all off, we've got the strongest Chan Man Quip of the Week that we've had to date. Let get started, shall we?
Today marks a major diversion from the standard Friends episode formula as Chrissie Hynde not only guest stars, but also performs a rendition of the aforementioned Angel of the Morning during the show. In 236 episodes of Friends, this is the only time that the writers decided to enlist a famous musician to perform a musical number as part of the script. Sure, we get plenty of musical performances from Phoebe, her collaborators, and even Ross throughout the series run, but devoting almost three minutes of airtime to allow a real musician to perform? Quite a usual change of pace. Perhaps the writers and show runners contemplated making this a recurring feature on the show and then abandoned the gimmick after trying it once and realizing it hadn't worked the way they planned. Who knows? But there is no question that it threw off the rhythm of the episode. Please don't misconstrue this as a dig against Chrissie Hynde or the song she performed. She is an excellent singer-songwriter and the fact that Angel of the Morning pops into my head out of nowhere quite regularly is a testament to the quality of the song. It's just that inserting her performing that song into the middle of an episode of Friends is simply weird and clearly out of place. I give the Friends show runners credit, though. Between this and The Rembrandts I'll Be There for You, they sure had a knack for picking music that has remained stuck in the collective heads of avid television viewers for twenty years and will probably remain there for generations to come.
I also need to give the writers a little bit of credit as well. Considering that they burned almost three minutes of today's episode (14 percent of the episode runtime) on a guest musical performance, they sure did pack a great deal of hilarity into the other 19 minutes. This episode also features The Great Kiwi Allergy Outbreak of 1995. When Ross needs Monica to take him to the hospital after accidentally eating a kiwi lime pie, David Schwimmer is delivers a brilliant piece of acting with his performance of the way that Ross speaks with the malady. More importantly, this storyline (of Monica needing to take Ross to the hospital and Ross deciding to leave Ben in the care of Joey and Chandler) sets up (in my opinion) one of the funniest laugh out loud sequences of the entire series run. The exchange between Joey and Chandler in the New York City Department of Health Services office is simply next level brilliant. We will proudly feature it below as what is by a mile our best Chan Man Quip of the Week to date. After having seen it 100 times or more, the punchline that Mathew Perry delivers continues to have me rolling on the floor laughing every single glorious time that I watch it. For me, this is a top ten funniest moment on the show. I can already imagine myself chuckling from the mere act of transcribing it when I get to the conclusion of this post. I see no reason to further delay such a delightful moment of comical ecstasy. So my good friends, it was good to see you again. Happy November and onward (christian soldiers) to the recap we march.
Recap in the Key of Phoebe - This is the one where Rachel helps Phoebe get her gig back singing at Central Perk after she is temporarily replaced by a "professional" singer, Monica takes Ross to the hospital when he has an allergic reaction to her kiwi lime pie, Joey and Chandler leave Ben on a bus while watching him for Ross during the kiwi emergency, and Phoebe give Stephanie (the "professional" singer) the what for when she tries to take "Smelly Cat" from the top.
Gandalf Gaffes - None. Flawless episode!
Chan Man Quip of the Week - [The Setup] Joey and Chandler are at the New York City Department of Health Services to pick up Ben after leaving him on a city bus. They realize that they have a serious dilemma when they discover that there are two babies in custody and they can't tell which one is Ben. One of the babies is wearing a clown outfit and the other is wearing a duck outfit. Panicking, Chandler asks Joey, "What're we gonna do? What're we gonna do?" Joey (spitballing a solution) offers, "Uh, uh, we'll flip for it. Ducks or clowns." Unimpressed with Joey's solution, Chandler questions, "Oh, we're gonna flip for the baby?" Equally perturbed, Joey questions back, "You got a better idea?" Chandler relents and agrees to the half-baked solution, "All right, call it in the air." As the coin is flipped, Joey blurts out, "Heads." Chandler checks the results and reports, "Heads it is." Relieved and believing the problem has been solved, Joey exclaims, "Yes! Whew!" However, Chandler quickly realizes that their efforts had been in vain and informs Joey, "We have to assign heads to something." Joey takes a moment to think about it and after also realizing the error, he suggests, "Right. Ok, ok, uh, ducks is heads, because ducks have heads." [The Knockout] Chandler responds (summoning every ounce of sarcasm he can muster), "What kind of scary-ass clowns came to your birthday?"
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Killing Me Softly
Season 2, Episode 5
Friends S2:E5 - Strumming my pain with his fingers (one time), singing my life with his words (two times). [I know what you're thinking. You're thinking you want to complete that melody, aren't you? It's okay, you can keep going...] Ken Adams is killing me softly with his blog. Killing me softly with his blog. Telling my Friends life with his words, killing me softly with his blog. Thanks, valued reader. Those were some great substitute lyrics you came up with on the fly in order to use a Fugees song to celebrate your favorite blog writer. I'm humbled by your warmth and creativity. Welcome, welcome. I hope this splendid Monday evening finds you well. I'm doing okay, myself, however (if I may be honest) I'm a little bummed out today because the Chicago Cubbies fell into an 0-2 hole last night against the New York Mets in the NLCS (National League Championship Series). In case you're wondering, no...I'm not bummed out because I'm a huge fan of the Chicago Cubs (although I did like them a lot when I was a kid during the Ryan Sandberg era). The reason I'm bummed out that the Cubs are behind in the series is because (as we discussed a few weeks back) I'm a huge fan of the Back to the Future trilogy. Indeed, Back to the Future fans have a lot riding on this series. As we all know, Marty discovers in Back to the Future Part II that the Chicago Cubs have won the 2015 World Series. Can you imagine how insane it would be if the prognostications made by Robert Zemeckis and Bob Gale way back in 1989 actually came true? It would be bananas (b-a-n-a-n-a-s) if the Chicago Cubs ended their 106 year championship drought in the same year that is was foretold in Back to the Future. So, yes (and sorry Mets fans)...I'm rooting for the Cubbies to go all the way. What an unbelievable feather it would be in the cap of one of the greatest movie trilogies of all-time to have correctly predicted the year that the Cubs' championship drought would end. This has got to happen. So while I'm a little bummed that Chicago came up empty in Games 1 & 2 in New York, they are returning to Wrigley Field for Game 3 tomorrow in Chicago and I have a sneaking suspicion that their bats are going to wake up and propel the team of destiny back into the series. I might be totally off base here (shameless double entendre) but these "life imitating art" situations seem to have a funny way of working themselves out. Whether or not we can rely on the universe to intervene on behalf of Chicago, it's better to be safe than sorry. So, I'm getting behind the Cubs 100 percent and (on behalf of Back to the Future fans everywhere) let me say on the record, "Go Cubs, Go!"
Speaking of Back to the Future, the countdown is in full swing. We are less than two days away from Back to the Future Day. (I told you I would circle back to this when we discussed it a few weeks ago.) Thinking back to my childhood, it is pretty remarkable to know that October 21st, 2015, a day that I remember seemed so far into the future back in 1989 when I first saw BTTFII, is finally arriving. I remember as a child imagining what my life would be like on Wednesday. Of course I was envisioning the flying cars that the movie predicts, but another thing that I remember imagining is that I would have kids of my own by now. Well, the 36 hour window that is left for something crazy to happen notwithstanding, the jokes on you...childhood me. I'm 36 years old and yet to travel down that road. My wife and I discuss the topic regularly and to date the consensus has been, "Roads? Where we're going, we don't need roads." I'm sure we'll need a road eventually, but probably not in time to coincide with 2015 of my childhood imagination. But I digress, the larger point is that Wednesday is coming, and coming fast. It will be a day to celebrate an historic timestamp in American cinematic history and reflect on the similarities to and differences from Back to the Future's interpretation of October 21st, 2015. Flying cars? Nope. Rehydrating pizzas? Not a chance. Hover boards? Umm, sort of...I guess. USA Today News Drones? Pretty close. Power-lacing Nikes? Life imitating art. Official trailer for Star Wars: Episode VII? Okay, so this wasn't in Back to the Future but the trailer was just released as I've been writing this post and as a pop culture writer, I would be doing you a disservice if I didn't find a way to include the link so ✔. 2015 World Series Champion Chicago Cubs? Right there for the taking. On behalf of Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, Ross, Chandler, and Joey (who have graciously yielded their time to Marty McFly and Doc Brown in this portion of their weekly post), I would like to say "GO CUBS, GO" once more. And once more, I apologize to all the New York Mets fans out there. It's nothing personal...you're just going up against the weight of 26 years of cinematic history and 106 years of baseball misery. But hey, I always say...don't get mad, get even. If fate is indeed against you over the next several days and the Cubs do storm back to win the series, theres nothing stopping a Mets fan from writing a movie, setting the movie in 2045, and inserting a scene where the main character (lets call him Party McSwim) discovers that the Mets have won the 2045 World Series. Remember that kids. Don't get mad, get even. Happy Back to the Future Day on Wednesday and on to the recap. Killing 'em softly? ✔
Recap in the Key of Phoebe - This is the one where Monica gets a promotion at work to head lunch chef, Chandler manipulates a model in order to sleep with her, Rachel, Phoebe, and Joey communicate concerns about not having enough money to do things like Ross' birthday hoopla, Ross goes to see the Hootie and the Blowfish concert with Chandler and Monica (after Rachel, Phoebe, and Joey decide not to accept the tickets that were purchased for them) and Monica winds up receiving a hicky from a blowfish afterward, and as cold as a verse of "Killing Me Softly," Monica receives the news over the phone that she's been fired for accepting the kickback of 5 steaks and an egg plant.
Gandalf Gaffes - None. Flawless episode!
Chan Man Quip of the Week - [The Setup] The gang is just finishing dinner at a fancy restaurant while celebrating Monica's promotion. Completely oblivious to the fact that Rachel, Phoebe, and Joey had scrimped on ordering so as to spend as little money as possible, Ross is working on dividing the check six ways. While finishing his calculation, he announces, "Plus tip, divided by six. Ok, everyone owes 28 bucks." Also oblivious to the cost-cutting efforts of some of his friends, Chandler agrees, "Okay." Rejecting the notion that check should be split evenly six ways, Rachel chimes in, "Um, everyone?" Appearing to recognize the dilemma, Ross responds, "Oh, you're right, I'm sorry." Relieved by Ross' willingness to recalibrate, Joey responds, "Thank you." However, Ross continues, "It's Monica's big night, she shouldn't pay." Monica expresses her gratitude by telling Ross, "Oh, thank you!" Ross continues his calculation, figuring "So five of us is, $33.50 apiece." Fed up, Phoebe lashes out, "No, huh uh, no way, I'm sorry, not gonna happen." [The Knockout] Chandler, reacting to Phoebe's adamant refusal to divide the check five ways, remarks, "Whoa, whoa, prom night flashback."
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Nubbin
Season 2, Episode 4
Friends S2:E4 - Howdy, ladies and gents. It's that time again. That's right. It's the time in your week where I methodically give you a refresher on the inner workings of an episode of situational comedy that you first experienced twenty years ago. Every week I ask myself, "is this a necessary exercise?" I know the answer is most certainly no, yet you still flock here in droves week after week to experience Friends in this fresh and exciting way. Your dedication is amazing and gives me the motivation I need to keep trying to spin this ridiculously unnecessary exercise into something meaningful and magical week after week. I've been told that you come for the world class analysis of your favorite show but stay for the witty banter. So, thanks. I'm glad that, one way or another, I'm able to entertain you for five to ten minutes each week. Also, in case I don't say it enough, I appreciate every single one of you (the devoted readers of this blog series). I don't take your loyalty for granted, so if I'm able to put a smile on your face while we take a few moments to celebrate our favorite television series, then I know I'm doing my job. As long as you keep sending that click count through the roof, I'll keep breaking my back trying not to let you down by bringing you something new and exciting to chew on each and every week. Deal? Cool.
When we last left our heroes, the Ross-Rachel-Julie love triangle had been momentarily set to the side so the gang could mourn the loss of their beloved neighbor, Mr. Heckles. This week, the Friends writers have returned to their bread and butter, serving up Ross and Rachel drama...buffet style. When Ross confides in Rachel his struggles to get out of his own head and take his relationship with Julie to the next level, Rachel (smelling blood in the water) seizes the opportunity to give Ross some bad advice that could work to her benefit. After discovering that Ross has yet to have sex with Julie, Rachel tries to convince Ross that Julie will find him sexier if he continues to hold out, thus buying herself more time for Ross to rediscover his feelings for her and perhaps end things with Julie before ever taking that plunge. The plan seems a little far fetched but appeared to be working until Ross also sought advice on the situation from Joey. Rachel's plan is ultimately foiled after she gets Ross all hot and bothered and then watches him jump head first into the deep end of the pool, so to speak. Twice. This development further entrenches Julie into the picture and leaves the audience seemingly further away from finally getting the moment that the show has been building towards for thirteen months: a Ross and Rachel kiss (and no, a daydream sequence kiss doesn't count).
We are also treated in this episode to another layer of the "why is Chandler Bing such a neurotic wiseass with commitment issues" onion being peeled away when we discover (along with all of his friends except Monica) that Chandler has a nubbin. For those keeping score at home, you guessed correctly. A nubbin is a third nipple. This is quite a hilarious development that will continue to pay dividends for episodes to come. Along those lines, we also discover that Phoebe has a gay, ice dancing husband that no one except Monica knew about. What is this with Monica apparently being the person that all of the friends confide their deepest darkest secrets in? Well, I guess not all of the friends since Chandler was the only one that seemed to know that Joey was in a porno movie. And having broached the topic of Joey's porno, I don't have nubbin (I mean nothing) left to say except, "You know that's bad for the paper tray." On that note, brothers and sisters...may your trays always be good and may your paper always be stacked. I'll catch you next week.
Recap in the Key of Phoebe - This is the one where Ross seeks Rachel's advice about his inability to go all the way with Julie, Phoebe finds out her gay husband has recently realized he's straight and needs a divorce because he is getting remarried, Monica discloses to the gang that Chandler has a third nipple after everyone finds out that her underwear is on the telephone pole from when she was having sex with Fun Bobby on the terrace, Chandler in turn discloses that Joey was in a porno movie to deflect attention away from the embarrassment of talking to the group about his nubbin, and Ross finally seals the deal with Julie...twice.
Gandalf Gaffes - None. Flawless episode!
Chan Man Quip of the Week - [The Setup] Ross and Julie are at Ross's apartment preparing to have the gang over for dinner. Ross, holds out a bowl to Julie and asks, "Julie, can you hold this for a second, thanks." When Julie takes the bowl from him, Ross uses his free hands to lean in a give Julie a deep, romantic kiss. In the middle of the kiss, Chandler, Monica, Joey, and Rachel enter Ross' apartment. Noticing the kiss and sensing the awkwardness of walking into a public display of affection, Chandler decides to confront it directly by saying, "Uh, Julie." She pulls away from Ross' kiss and responds, "Yeah?" [The Knockout] Chandler quickly fires back by informing her, "Sorry, you had a paleontologist on your face. But, uh, it's gone now, you're alright."
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Crazy Snake Man
Season 2, Episode 3
Friends S2:E3 - Hey there, Friendsters. Hope everyone's week (and month, for that matter) is off to a fantastic start. As excited as I am to keep my streak of approaching this column with a positive attitude in tact, I must admit that I caught a case of The Mundays this morning. I rolled out of bed like, "Could today be any more Monday? Nevertheless, I fought through it and I'm here at my computer charged up and ready to serve you (the reader) another piping hot batch of fresh Friends takes. So lets get right into it, shall we? Throughout the series run and after Friends first went off of the air and into the rerun vortex, I always had it in my head that Mr. Heckles was a very frequent supporting character on the show.It just seemed as if he were a mainstay that was around for a good portion of the series run. However, in researching this blog post, he actually only appears in five episodes of the show according to the character's IMDb page. Sure enough, here we are for only the third episode of Season Two and Mr. Heckles is already being killed off by the writers in only his fourth appearance (the character returns in October 1996 [S3:E6] for his fifth appearance during a flashback sequence). I don't know why I always thought that Mr. Heckles had a much bigger presence the show. I guess it is a testament to Larry Hanklin's acting for giving such a memorable performance during his limited appearances. If Mr. Heckles were sill with us today, he might say, "I could have a prominent recurring role on Friends."
Today's episode is also noteworthy because of the unusual vulnerability that we see out of Chandler as he struggles with the prospect of ending up like Mr. Heckles; alone and jaded. The Chan Man, who usually uses humor as a defense mechanism to keep people at a distance and avoid soul crushing introspection, is genuinely affected by the similarities between him and Heckles and solicits advice from several of his friends to help talk himself out of the fixation that he will end up turning into a crazy old hermit that keeps pet snakes and scares neighborhood children. He even does the unthinkable and calls Janice in an attempt to start something back up with a women that he has already broken up with multiple times. This vulnerability is an interesting side to Chandler, one that we hadn't often seen from him during the sarcastic, quip-filled performance Mathew Perry gave in Season One. It seems the Friends writers are making a conscious effort here to add some depth to the Chandler Muriel Bing character. I remember hearing the showrunners say during a DVD commentary that in original conception for the show, the Phoebe and Chandler characters were intended to be supporting characters whose main role was to provide comic relief to the story lines involving Rachel, Ross, Monica, and Joey. Obviously, that original conception for the show was quickly abandoned with the realization that Mathew Perry and Lisa Kudrow's characters required equal footing in the ensemble cast. The vulnerable, introspective side of Chandler that the writers show the audience in The One Where Heckles Dies appears to be a purposeful attempt to add some depth to everybody's favorite sarcastic funny man. All that being said, Chandler's rant about turning into Crazy Snake Man is one of the funniest moments that we've seen on the show through these first 27 episodes.So run, run on to the recap and I'll holler at you kids next week. Don't forget to stay off my lawn.
Recap in the Key of Phoebe - This is the one where Mr. Heckles dies and Chandler fears he will end up alone after going through Mr. Heckles stuff and discovering how much they have in common, Monica and Rachel fight over Rachel's desire to put Mr. Heckles' lamp in their shared living space, Ross and Phoebe debate the merits of of evolutionary science, Joey commits to let future hermit Chandler come over and watch the Super Bowl every year, and Chandler attempts to get past the fact that Allison has a big head and date her anyway so that he doesn't end up becoming Crazy Snake Man.
Gandalf Gaffes - None. Flawless episode!
Chan Man Quip of the Week - [The Setup] The gang is eating dinner at Monica and Rachel's apartment. Ross and Phoebe are continuing their ongoing debate about the merits of evolutionary science. After Ross gives an impassioned case to convince Phoebe to believe in evolution, Phoebe exclaims, "Yeah, I just don't buy it." A visibly frustrated Ross continues, "Uh, excuse me. Evolution is not for you to buy, Phoebe. Evolution is scientific fact, like, like, like the air we breathe, like gravity." Continuing to needle him, Phoebe remarks, "Ok, don't get me started on gravity." Flabbergasted, Ross asks, "You uh, you don't believe in gravity?" In a matter of fact tone, Phoebe answers, "Well, it's not so much that you know, like I don't believe in it, you know, it's just...I don't know, lately I get the feeling that I'm not so much being pulled down as I am being pushed." Immediately after Phoebe's response, there is a knock at the door. [The Knockout] Chandler interjects, "Uh-Oh. It's Isaac Newton, and he's pissed."
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Just Do It
Season 2, Episode 2
Friends S2:E2 - Greetings, Pheobes and Pheobos. How is everyone doing this fine Monday evening? I'm having a splendid day if I do say so myself. (Thanks for asking.) As I reported last week, I'm no longer experiencing the dread of writing this column that had been an overwhelming burden for me last season. My new philosophy this year (for when there is a post to be written) is to put my game face on, sit down at my computer, and (like James Harden deciding what sneakers to wear out of the house in order to go to the bank and cash a $200 million check from Adidas) just do it. Speaking of the Nike slogan, here's a random observation. As hard as it may be to imagine, we have now entered the fall of 2015, which is the very same time period that Marty McFly, Doc Brown, Jennifer Parker, and Einstein traveled to from 1985 in Back to the Future Part II. In regards to today's episode of Friends, this is neither here nor there but I find it fascinating when considering how far into the future 2015 seemed to me in 1989 when I first watched the movie as a kid. While Robert Zemeckis' prediction of flying cars clearly didn't come to fruition, the 2015 that he imagined did get a few things right. For one, hover boards exist now...sort of. Also, the sweet Nikes with power laces that Marty wears after arriving in 2015 Hill Valley are becoming quite a remarkable example of life imitating art. In case that isn't enough, I've got another potentially juicy prediction from the movie about 2015 that could still come true. While walking around future Hill Valley, Marty discovers that the Chicago Cubs have won the 2015 World Series. Coincidentally, the Cubbies (who haven't been in the postseason since 2008) have already miraculously clinched a playoff spot for the upcoming postseason. How cool will it be if they get hot in October and win their first World Series since 1908 in the same year that Back to the Future Part II suggests that they will? I guess we'll know soon enough. On that note, I should probably move on from Back to the Future. After all, even though it's quickly approaching...we're still a few weeks away from Marty and company's 2015 appearance. The exact date that they travel into the future is October 21, 2015. Perhaps we can explore my fascination with the Back to the Future interpretation of 2015 more when that magical day finally arrives, but for now...it would probably be wise for me to get back to the matter at hand.
Coming off of last week's episode, the Friends character most in need of a time machine is Rachel. (You better believe it...I found the perfect segue back to today's episode of Friends.) After suffering through the pain of seeing Ross and Julie together, I'm sure Rachel would have jumped at the opportunity to borrow Doc's DeLorean so she could travel back to the week before Ross' China trip and begin a relationship with Ross that would preempt him starting one with Julie. However, unfortunately for Rachel, Christopher Lloyd was not a guess star on today's episode and it doesn't appear that The West Wing's Ainsley Hayes is going to be much help in the time travel department. Therefore, Rachel is left to suffer with the agony of having front row seats to Ross' blossoming romance with Julie. And to add insult to injury, this week she has to deal with adjusting to the idea of Monica spending time with Julie as well. When Rachel discovers a lunch receipt for over $50 after Monica claimed to have gone to lunch alone, the two have it out in a hilarious scene in which Monica's plutonic relationship with Julie is comedically framed to illicit a reaction from Rachel that one would expect to be the result of the type of jealousy that is created in relationships of the romantic variety. Will Monica and Rachel be able to make up after their fantastic Julie fight? Find out in the recap below. And for more exemplary Friends analysis...tune in next week a.k.a THE FUTURE (he says in a slightly deranged Doc Brown voice). Great Scott.
Recap in the Key of Phoebe - This is the one where Monica tries to keep her friendship with Julie a secret from Rachel, Ross struggles with the challenge of tasting Carol's breast milk, Joey battles Hombre Man for the affection of a woman and also for respect in the workplace, Chandler counsels Joey on how to handle his duel with Hombre Man, Phoebe covers for Monica by lying to Rachel about Monica's shopping trip with Julie, Monica assures Rachel that hanging out with Julie could never replace her friendship with Rachel, and Ross finally overcomes his fear of breast milk by grabbing the bottle and deciding to just do it.
Gandalf Gaffes - None. Flawless episode!
Chan Man Quip of the Week - [The Setup] The gang (minus Rachel) is hanging out at Monica and Rachel's apartment when Carol and Susan arrive to pick up Ben. Phoebe informs Carol and Susan that Ross freaked out when she tasted Carol's breast milk. When Ross defends himself by asserting that breast milk is gross, Carol responds by asking, "My breast milk is gross?" Noticing the looming awkwardness, Susan interjects, "This should be fun." Ross (hoping to recover from issuing the perceived slight) responds, "No, no, Carol.There's nothing wrong with it. I just, I just don't think breast milk is for adults." [The Knockout] Chandler, never one to hold back from sticking his nose in, observes "Of course the packaging does appeal to grown-ups and kids alike."
This Is Huge
Season 2, Episode 1
Friends S2:E1 - Oh. My. God. It is such a thrill to be back for my second season blogging Friends for theLeftAhead. I'm back with renewed energy and a new attitude about the task at hand. Yep, gone are the negative disposition and lukewarm commitment of last season and here in their place are swimming pools full of Red Bull on the ready for serving an endless supply of energy to my inner-Rudy Ruettiger. That's right...this year I'm getting my Kevin Garnett on by staring down the remaining nine years of this project and screaming "ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE." How, you ask, was I able to accomplish such a dramatic reversal from my negative approach to last season? (An approach that quite honestly should have gotten me fired during a "when keeping it real goes terribly wrong" moment with my editor-n-chief.) Well, you inquisitive reader you, I'd be happy to answer your question. Let me tell you a little secret. Four months away from a word processor can be extremely therapeutic for a disillusioned writer. I've been on a beach (with an umbrella drink in my hand) for 120 straight days. Until this morning, I hadn't as much as looked at a computer or thought about a deadline for 2880 straight hours. Essentially, I've been living Peter Gibbons fantasy since May 19th and let me tell you, Bob...it's been everything I thought it could be. Indeed, four months of doing nothing has a way of putting you in a perpetual state of zen. But since all good things must come to an end, I was fearful that coming back to work would seriously harsh my chi. So when I fired up my trusty Macbook this morning to begin working on the second leg of my psychotic half-baked ten leg marathon of a blog series, I suspected I'd feel dread the second I heard that annoying tone the computer makes during the Apple logo screen. To my surprise, it was not dread I felt but rather excitement. I discovered that I'm actually fired up to tackle the challenge at hand. (Thanks, inherited wealth and seasonal employment.) Batteries? Recharged.
As theLeftAhead's pop culture writer, many of you might have been hoping that I would do a few pieces over the course of the summer on some happenings in pop culture other than this, my regular column. After all, there was a lot going on during the summer from the explosion of Mr. Robot upon the television landscape, to Kanye West proclaiming "I've got next" by announcing his 2020 presidential run, to the biggest pop culture phenomenon of recent memory: Donald Trump bamboozling a portion of the American public into believing that he is a legitimate threat to win the White House in our current election cycle. More on Trump in a moment, but for those of you who were hoping to see me serving theLeftAhead a supply of non-Friends pop culture content these past few months...I apologize for taking the summer off and I hope to make it up to you in coming weeks and months by taking this Friends 20/20 project to another level. And since so many of you have been requesting it, I'll also do my best to start tackling some non-Friends topics here and there. I mean, how hard could it be to write two blog posts in a week from time to time? Well, loyal readers, I wouldn't know but you have my commitment that I will try my best to find out in the very near future. Okay, back to Trump. The Donald's campaign is making a mockery of our political system. It is disconcerting that this man's racist and misogynistic vitriol was not immediately and emphatically renounced by the American media, electorate, and most importantly by his fellow candidates for the Republican nomination. We, as a country, should be collectively ashamed that Trump's poisonous rhetoric and utter lack of substantive policy proposals has not only not been repudiated, but instead has rewarded him with a sizable lead for the nomination of one of our two major political parties a mere five months before the first primaries. If you're a Trump supporter (and I suspect that you're not considering that enjoyment of the witty prose that I serve up in this column requires the possession of critical thinking skills that have been scientifically proven to cure Trump fever), please reconsider that support before February. If I can leave you with one little nugget of wisdom on this our first day back to school, I would tell you that elections matter. We are electing our next Commander-In-Chief, not our next favorite reality television personality. This is huge. (Like Rachel showing up to meet Ross at the airport with flowers huge.) As a still possible candidate in the 2016 race would say, "this is a big fucking deal." We, as Americans, should start acting like it. On that note, on to the recap. It's good to be back.
Recap in the Key of Phoebe - This is the one where Rachel discovers that Ross has met someone in China after she goes to the airport to welcome him home and reveal her feelings, Joey's tailor takes advantage of Chandler when he goes in for a fitting, Phoebe mistakenly gives Monica a haircut to look like Dudley Moore when Monica asked for a haircut to look like Demi Moore, and Phoebe's observation that "this is huge" in reference to the idea of Rachel and Ross becoming a couple is completely destroyed when Rachel makes to terrible decision of hooking back up with Paulo in the aftermath of everyone realizing that Ross is head over heals smitten with his new girlfriend Julie.
Gandalf Gaffes - Boys and girls, we're starting Season Two off on the right foot by recording a Gandalf Gaffe in the official scorer's book. Our gaffe today is unusual because both the established precedent and the contradiction take place within today's episode. The precedent in question is the establishment of Ross's preexisting relationship with Julie. Early on in the episode, when Ross and Julie first show up at Monica and Rachel's apartment so that Julie can meet everyone, they reference having known each other prior to the China trip. After absorbing the shock of discovering that Ross has met someone in China, Monica asks, "This is amazing. I mean, how, how did this happen?" Julie responds, "Well, Ross and I were in grad school together." Ross continues, "But we haven't seen each other since then. Well I land in China, guess who's in charge of the dig?" The precedent has clearly been established that Ross knew Julie during his time in grad school. However, later in the episode when Chandler (with Rachel's urging) is grilling Ross for more information about the fact that he left on his China trip madly in love with Rachel and came back with a new girlfriend, Ross contradicts the established timeline of knowing Julie in grad school. When Chandler asks, "So what the hell happened to you in China? I mean, when last we left you, you were totally in love with, you know." Ross responds, "Look, you were right. She looks at me and sees a friend, that's all. But then I met Julie, and I don't know, we're havin' a great time. And I have to say, I never would've gone for it with her if it hadn't been for you." Here in lies our gaffe. Ross infers that he 'met Julie' in China which contradicts the fact that he already knew her from grad school. This is admittedly nit-picky, but our mission is to uncover every Gandalf Gaffe no matter how large or small. Even though this is the tiniest of a level one infraction, it is a level one infraction nonetheless.Gandalf Gaffe #6: Early in the Season 2 premiere, Ross talks about having known Julie in grad school. Later in the episode he contradicts himself by suggesting that he met Julie for the first time during his dig in China.
Chan Man Quip of the Week - [The Setup] Frankie (Joey's tailor) is taking Chandler's measurements. While down on the ground getting ready to measure Chandler's pants, Frankie asks, "How long do you want the cuffs?" [The Knockout] Chandler, with unbridled sarcasm answers, "At least as long as I have the pants."
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Start Looking
Season 1, Episode 24
Friends S1:E24 - Buenas noches mis amigos y amigas. I hope everyone has had a spectacular Monday. I know it is somewhat bitter sweet for you to read this knowing that it is our final blog post of the season and our last opportunity to spend time together discussing Friends. But don't fret. This is, after all, just a season finale and not a series finale. We will be back together again on September 21st. Plus, I have some good stuff planned for us today. Don't worry. I have no intention to pull a Mad Men and bid you adieu by [Spoiler Alert] showing you a Coke commercial that just leaves you wanting more. When we're all finished with our business here today, I promise you will leave satisfied. So lets get right into it, shall we? The moment we have all been waiting for has finally arrived. It is the Season One finale and every thing thus far has been leading up to the writers giving us (the audience) what we want. We've been waiting all year to see Ross and Rachel finally get together and now (in the season finale) we get to see them kiss and live happily ever after. Wait, hold up...they don't live happily ever after? Well, at least they finally kiss. One out of two ain't bad. Wait, hold up again...they only kiss in Rachel's imagination? Son of a...Yep, these Friends writers sure do have some nerve. They knew that the audience was expecting to have all of our Ross and Rachel dreams finally come true in the season finale, but (instead of giving us a warm and fuzzy feeling to float through the summer on) they decided to kick us in the teeth by teasing us with Ross and Rachel kissing in day dream sequence and then hitting us with the heartbreaking cliffhanger of Ross deboarding the plane with Julie while Rachel waits to surprise Ross at the gate. I remember watching this cliff hanger twenty years ago when it originally aired and I remember being pissed. I watched it again this morning (for like the 50th time since) and guess what? I'm still pissed. Sure, the cliff hanger served its purpose of making me spend the whole summer of 1995 itching to find out what happens next. But at the same time, the frustration was palpable to know all summer that there was another obstacle keeping Ross and Rachel apart. Damn you, strange women kissing Ross as he's leaving the airplane! Twenty years ago today, millions of people screamed that in unison at their television screens and just like that, in less than ten seconds of screen time, Julie (played by Lauren Tom) became one of the most-hated character in American sitcom history. We'll come to learn this fall that Julie is actually a very sweet person, but for now and also for the summer of 1995 (and all the emotional scarring that this cliffhanger caused a pimple-faced teenaged Friends fan)...damn you, Julie!
On that note, it is time for us to start preparing to part ways for the summer. Over the course of this first season, we've had a good run. You got to know a little about me (and all my eccentricities), we had some laughs, but most importantly...we got to revisit our favorite TV show in a new and exciting way. I hope you've enjoyed the first edition of this Friends 20/20 blog series and I hope you will keep coming back for future installments. We are now 24 posts into our 236 post series, so we still have plenty of room and time to grow this thing into something spectacular together. Sure, other people have blogged Friends on the interwebs already and sure, there are plenty of other places to go in order to celebrate your love of the show. But thanks for giving theLeftAhead a chance to scratch at that insatiable itch for Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, Ross, Joey, and Chandler for a few minutes each week. I'm looking forward to coming back bigger and stronger for Season Two and I'll hope you'll be back to continue to be a part of this wacky journey. We may not be the most technically proficient Friends blog series in existence, but I guarantee you we're the most creatively unique. So, if you looking to continue to make history together, I'll see you again, dear friend, on September 21st. I'll be there for you. I'm hoping you'll be there for me too. Together, the sky's the limit. But if (for some reason) you're only here looking to see a half-baked idea for a blog series crash and burn, stop looking [all I do is win].
Recap in the Key of Phoebe - This is the one where the gang throws Rachel a birthday party and she discovers that Ross is in love with her when Chandler accidentally spills the beans, Joey is dating Melanie and decides to "be there for her" while under strict orders from a fertility clinic not to conduct any "personal experiments," Ross misses Rachel's party because he has to go to China on a dig, Phoebe gets ahold of a photo of Ross that is meant for Ben and repeatedly uses it to impersonate Ross, and Monica takes over Rachel's date with Karl when Rachel decides to go to the airport to start looking for Ross as he lands back home after his trip to China.
Gandalf Gaffes - None. Flawless episode!
Chan Man Quip of the Week - [The Setup] The gang is at Monica and Rachel's apartment and Rachel is opening up her birthday gifts. Ross has already left for China so he is not there but Joey has brought Melanie (the women he is seeing). Rachel grabs a gift and looks at it and informs everyone, "This one's from Joey." She looks the present over and continues, "Feels like a book. Thinks it's a book... feels like a book. And...(as she opens it)...it's a book!" Phoebe chimes in, "Oh, it's Dr. Seuss!" Joey, feeling the need to explain, tells Rachel, "That book got me through some tough times." Melanie, clearly smitten over Joey and their new romance, declares, "There is a little child inside this man!" [The Knockout] Chandler, eager to take Melanie down a peg or two, responds, "Yes, the doctors say if they remove it, he'll die."
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You Forgot Your Legs
Season 1, Episode 23
Friends S1:E23 - What's golden, my friends of Friends? Can you guess why I am excited on this beautiful Monday afternoon? That's right. You guessed it. Today we are reviewing the penultimate episode of Season One. And you know what that means, right? Exactly. Only one more week until I get a three month break from the cumbersome weekly grind of this project! Yes, yes, y'all. Summer is coming. Now, I don't want to get the reputation as a slacker or someone who despises his job, but considering that when I proposed the idea for this project to my editor, I did so fully expecting him to reject it. I never intended to have to write for deadlines at theLeftAhead. I was just trying to demonstrate an ability to think outside of the box during the pitch meeting with my editor. Well, the joke was on me when he approved the project and I found myself committed to 24 Friends deadlines a year for 10 years. Nevertheless, I will be one-tenth of the way through my commitment after two more posts so let's get right down to business, shall we? When we last left our heroes, they were rushing to the hospital to bear witness to the birth of Ross' son. In this episode, we meet the gang back at the hospital and watch hilarity ensue as Ross and Susan almost miss the birth of their child by accidentally getting themselves locked in a supply closet with Phoebe. Phoebe also puts on hospital worker Ben's uniform in the supply closet which later gives Ross, Susan, and Carol the inspiration to name their child Ben.
Another important layer to this episode happens as Monica and Chandler are killing time in the waiting room. They joke about being in a relationship. This is the first time in the series that we see these two interact romantically. While the interaction takes place in jest as they are clearly joking about being involved, it raises the question of whether or not this was foreshadowing on the part of the Friends writers or just a coincidence. Put a pin in that for now (they will find themselves interacting in this way again during the beach episodes and before their eventual hook up) but it was definitely worth making a note in this blog series of the first time that these characters flirted with the idea of a relationship. Moving right along, I'm also excited to report that we actually have two Gandalf Gaffes to dissect this week later in the post. So considering that we have some red meat to chew on later and in the spirit of brevity (in other words, getting me one step closer to summer vacation), I'll close by wishing a happy belated Mother's Day to all of the moms out there in our readership. Happy Mother's Day to you too, Carol Willick. Ben is a precious baby boy. Oh, and Happy Lesbian Lover's Day to you, Susan Bunch. On to the recap...
Recap in the Key of Phoebe - This is the one where Ross gets locked in a closet with Susan and Phoebe while Carol is in labor, Joey befriends a pregnant women whose boyfriend isn't around to help with the birth, Rachel flirts with Carol's doctor, Chandler and Monica joke about being in a relationship (hmm...foreshadowing?), Phoebe helps Ross and Susan see the bigger picture while they are fighting and inadvertently puts the idea out there to name the baby Ben, and Ross gets to the delivery room just in time to see the birth of his son right after a janitor informs him, "you forgot your legs."
Gandalf Gaffes - Today we have a double play! There are two gaffes for the price of one in this episode. Our first gaffe takes place in a conversation between Rachel and Chandler at the hospital. Rachel has just returned from changing into a dress to impress Carol's doctor (who she was previously flirting with). Chandler asks, "Rachel, what is the deal with you and doctors, anyway? Was, like, your father a doctor?" Rachel responds, "yeah" confirming that her father is indeed a doctor (we come to find out later in the series that Rachel's father is a heart surgeon). Discovering that Rachel's father is a doctor in S1:E23 contradicts a phone conversation that she had with him in S1:E17. After Monica (pretending to be Rachel on a double date) informs Rachel's dad over the phone that she had sex on his bed with Billy Dreskin (presumably an old boyfriend) during freshman year, Rachel calls her father back and attempts to undo the damage. Rachel tells her dad on the phone, "Daddy, why why would I sleep with Billy Dreskin? His father tried to put you out of business." This conversation insinuates that Rachel's father is some sort of business owner and not a doctor. It is possible that she could have been suggesting that Billy Dreskin's father tried to put him out of business as a doctor, but it would not have likely been phrased that way. She might have said something to the effect of, "his father tried to sue you for malpractice." Therefore, the most likely conclusion is that Rachel's father was originally conceived to be a business owner in S1:E17 which makes it a Gandalf Gaffe to reference him as a doctor in S1:E23. Since there is a tiny bit of wiggle room to make the argument that Billy Dreskin's father could have been trying to put a doctor out of business, we will rule this as a level one infraction.
For our second Gandalf Gaffe, it appears that the Friends casting department has tried to slip a fast one by us. In this episode, they use June Gable (the actress who plays Joey's agent Estelle Leonard) as the delivery room nurse during Carol's pregnancy with Ben. June had previously appeared in S1:E6 as Estelle Leonard. Here's where it gets a little tricky. Estelle's scene was actually cut from the broadcast version of S1:E6 (she doesn't reappear as Estelle Leonard to make the broadcast cut until S2:E10) but remember, our bible for the Friends universe is the extended versions of the episodes that appear on the DVD release. Estelle's scene is included in this version of the episode, therefore June Gable has already been established as Estelle Leonard by the time S1:E23 rolls around where casting contradicts an established role by having her play a delivery room nurse. This Gandalf Gaffe is also a level one infraction since it does not directly create a plot contradiction.
Gandalf Gaffe #4: Rachel's father is referenced as a business man in S1:E17 but that reference is contradicted in S1:E23 when Rachel confirms that he is a doctor.
Gandalf Gaffe #5: June Gable, the actress portraying the character of Joey's agent Estelle Leonard in S1:E6 (and recurring 9 more times throughout the series run), also plays the delivery room nurse in S1:E23.
Chan Man Quip of the Week - [The Setup] The entire gang is in the delivery room with Carol, Ross, and Susan. A nurse, sensing the ridiculousness of having the father's entire group of friends in the room, announces, "All right, all right, there's a few too many people in this room, and there's about to be one more, so anybody who's not an ex-husband or a lesbian life partner, out you go!" Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, and Joey wish Carol good luck and start exiting the room. Chandler appears to be following them out and then turns around to address the nurse. [The Knockout] He mischievously propositions her, "Let me ask you, do you have to be Carol's lesbian life partner?"
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Dream Score
Season 1, Episode 22
Friends S1:E22 - Greetings to all of you fine ladies and gents out there throughout the Friendsosphere on this gloomy Monday afternoon. As you might have already imagined, the offices here at theLeftAhead are rather quiet today after the San Antonio Spurs lost a heartbreaking Game 7 111-109 to the Los Angeles Clippers on Saturday night to bow out in the first playoff series of their title defense. In fact, I'm the only person here at work today. Ted James, our editor-in-chief and resident Spurs blogger, has not been heard from since Saturday night. This, in and of itself, is not highly unusual. He regularly disappears from the offices for days at a time without checking in and no one around here ever seems to mind (since every first and fifteenth our pay checks are always on time) but I imagine that this Spurs defeat is especially difficult for him since he is the biggest fan of the team that I have ever met in my entire life. I'm checking the site as we speak and he still hasn't posted Four Back (which invariably will be his last post in the Black & Silver series for the season) but I'm sure he will get around to posting that in the next few days. As a Spurs fan myself, I can say that watching Chris Paul hit the shot with one second left on the clock to win Game 7 on Saturday night was a hard pill to swallow but I'll also say that the Spurs played valiantly on the road in a hostile environment and should be extremely proud of what they've accomplished over the past two seasons. I have no doubt that they'll be right back in the thick of things next year. But I digress, you didn't click on this post to read about the San Antonio Spurs...you're here for some good old recapping of an episode of television that originally aired 20 years ago. My apologies for the off-topic opening paragraph, I just figured some of you may be interested in the goings on (or lack there of) here in theLeftAhead offices today.
So this episode was a little weird, huh? The writers certainly decided to pick this as the time to start testing the boundaries a little bit of what was acceptable sexual subject matter for mid-nineties primetime American television. You've got Monica inadvertently committing statutory rape with an "awe shucks" all-american man child and you've also got multiple dialogues about Rachel's dream orgies. Throw in Ross' telephone conversations returning pages to strangers who had intended to reach 55-JUMBO, and you've got quite a risqué half an hour of television for a pre-Lewinsky scandal Clinton Administration audience. By today's standards (of course) this episode doesn't move the proverbial "controversy needle" even one iota but back in those days...quite a bold script. Of course, it was easier for Friends writers to take risks while they were sharing a network and a Thursday night lineup with Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld (who were taking bolder risks on a weekly basis). Nevertheless, this episode displayed a noticeable shift outwards towards the boundaries of acceptable subject matter for our beloved sitcom. This episode also (by way of Chandler's subordinates doing impersonations of him) kicks off a ten year run of other characters on the show making jokes of impersonating Chandler's conversation style and mannerisms, which is one of the better reoccurring gags of the series. Could that bit be any funnier? Finally, Ross receives a page near the end of the episode that will change his life forever. Our week concludes with the gang getting ready to leave for the hospital after Ross finds out that Carol is in labor and he is about to become a father. Of course, this happens right after Ross has stumbled upon Rachel napping and discovered that he has dream scored with her. Once again, a reoccurring theme for Season One rears its ugly head...every time Ross is on the verge of making things happen with Rachel, something always comes up. So that's that. When we return next week (same friendly time, same friendly channel) we'll finally be meeting Ross' son. Until then, if you see Ted James wandering around near the edge of a cliff somewhere, tell him that this too shall pass and to remember that despite this year's painful exit...the fact remains that the San Antonio Spurs have still won five out of the last sixteen NBA championships and no one can ever take that away from us. Go sports.
Recap in the Key of Phoebe - This is the one where Rachel starts has a dream that she hooks up with Chandler and then later has a dream where she hooks up with both Chandler and Joey, Monica dates Ethan (who she believes to be a college senior but later finds out is a high school senior), Chandler allows Phoebe to fill in as his secretary for a couple of weeks and learns from her that is subordinates at work no longer like him since he was promoted to be their boss, and Ross is disillusioned by the idea of Rachel having sex dreams about Chandler and Joey but later discovers that he also has had a dream score with Rachel while she is napping on the couch right before he finds out that Carol is going into labor with his son.
Gandalf Gaffes - None. Flawless episode!
Chan Man Quip of the Week - [The Setup] The gang is at Central Perk discussing the dream Rachel had in which she and Chandler hooked up. Ross, noticeably disturbed by the thought of the girl that he has a crush on dreaming about sex with his best friends, asks Rachel, "Why, why, why would you dream that?" Before she can respond, Chandler interjects, "More importantly, was I any good?" Responding to Chandler instead of Ross, Rachel informs, "Well, you were pretty damn good." In typical self-deprecating fashion, Chandler remarks, "Interesting, cause in my dreams, I'm always surprisingly inadequate." Reassuringly, Rachel continues, "Well, last night you seemed to know your way around the table." Visibly flabbergasted, Ross interjects, " I love it, when we share." He thens gets up from the couches and walks over to the coffee shop counter. Chandler follows him over and asks, "You okay there?" Ross answers, "I can't believe you two had sex in her dream." [The Knockout] Chandler responds sarcastically, " I'm sorry, it was a one-time thing. I was very drunk and it was somebody else's subconscious."
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