Friends S5:E9 – Hey now, Mercedes-Friends! How’s everyone doing this fine Monday afternoon? I’m spectacular, thanks for asking. Why am I spectacular? I’m really enjoying our short respite from the madness that is the holidays. The hubba balloo of Thanksgiving is two weeks behind us and the hubba balloo of Christmas is two weeks away so I’m taking advantage of this brief opportunity to catch my breath. Plus, it’s December which means today’s post is our second-to-last of 2018! That’s exciting! One week from today, I’ll be submitting the very last post of 2018 and then darting off to an undisclosed, secret location on a tropical island to celebrate the season and ring in the New Year. On second thought, forget what I said about enjoying the respite of a break in the middle of the holiday season. I was thinking of things in terms of the family stress and strained relationships that I experienced during your clique Thanksgiving with extended family. I definitely need a respite from that. But why am I looking backward when I could be looking forward? For a second, I forgot that my wife and I will be celebrating Christmas on a beach in the sun while sipping on delicious umbrella drinks. On second thought (since I won’t be dealing with the family stress or drama that plagued Thanksgiving), I can’t wait for the rest of the holidays to be upon us! Sometimes I forget how awesome my job is to have these summer and mid-season breaks from the blog series where I have the time and freedom to dart off and disappear on the beach. On second thought, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all…my life rules. But enough about me.

Today we have the pleasure of breaking down a classic Ross Geller episode. David Schwimmer is at his comedic best while unleashing all of the hilarious rage and fury of Red Ross on us (the fortuitous audience) when the elder Geller discovers that someone at work has eaten his Thanksgiving leftover “Moist Maker” turkey sandwich. Because the note Ross left with his sandwich was too timid to prevent the theft, Phoebe teaches Ross what to say to appear “street” and ward off future perpetrators. Taking Phoebe’s advice, Ross uses her tactics which results in him earning the nickname Mental from his co-workers at the museum. Ross earning the nickname Mental is especially enjoyable for us here at theLeftAhead for reasons that hit close to home. Loyal readers of the entire site can probably guess those reasons. For the rest of you who are loyal Ken Adams and Friends 20/20 readers but don’t necessarily know that much about the rest of what goes on here at theLeftAhead, let me catch you up. My boss, Ted James is a hip hop artist and co-founder of the M7 Records music label. As fans of the entire site know, M7 Records music is featured prominently on this blog. One of Ted’s label mates at M7 Records is an artist named 2mental. Over the years, I’ve gotten to know 2mental well enough to discover that people frequently shorten his name by leaving off the two and thereby, simply refer to him as Mental. Needless to say, we all get a big kick here at theLeftAhead out of the fact that Ross Geller has the same nickname in today’s episode as our friend. Eventually Ross finds out that his boss is the one that ate his sandwich. Ross looses it after making this discovery and, in my opinion, rightfully so. Taking someone else’s lunch out of the community fridge in your workplace’s break room and then eating it is a dick move. Fortunately, I’ve never had this happen to me personally but I can imagine how angry it would make me. What kind lack of empathy and sense of entitlement does someone have to have to say, “Screw it. I know this lunch isn’t mine and I’ll be leaving a co-worker lunch-less if I eat it, but I’m hungry so I’m just going to do me”? I’m with Ross on this one. He had every right to go Red Ross and chew out his boss. If that’s MY SANDWICH then that’s MY SANDWICH. Keep your greedy, entitled hands off of it, boss man. I must say, even though Ross didn’t deserve his fate, seeing him loopy on pills eating cotton candy at Central Perk is epically hilarious. The ensuing story line of him being on sabbatical from the museum isn’t too shabby either. So there you have it, class. Another comprehensive episode deconstruction has been completed by yours truly. I’ll leave you today with a video in honor of our two Mentals (get it… 2mental… two Mentals). (Spoiler alert: Ted James makes a cameo in this video.) Have a great week and “peep the game coming from the speakers…”

Recap in the Key of Phoebe – This is the one where Ross becomes consumed with rage when someone at work eats his Thanksgiving leftover “Moist Maker” turkey sandwich, Chandler leaves his underwear on Monica and Rachel’s couch and then asks Joey to cover for him so the rest of the gang doesn’t find out about him and Monica, Joey has to declare “I’m Joey, I’m disgusting” after a dealing with a series of other embarrassing “covering for Monica and Chandler” incidents, Phoebe invites Rachel to join her adult education literature class and then gets mad when Rachel doesn’t take the class seriously or read the books, Rachel eventually quits the class after Phoebe tricks her into talking in class about the robots in Jane Eyre, the tables are turned on Monica forcing her to declare “I’m Monica, I’m disgusting” after Joey clears his own name by explaining that all of the embarrassing incidents were a result of Monica stalking him after they slept together in London, and Ross earns the nickname Mental and is forced to go on sabbatical after he blows up at his boss upon discovering that his boss was the one that ate “MY SANDWICH.”

Gandalf Gaffes – None. Flawless episode!

Chan Man Quip of the Week – [The Setup] The gang is hanging out at Central Perk when Ross enters looking depressed. He surveys his friends and gives his infamous Sad Ross greeting of “hi.” Joey asks, “What’s wrong, buddy?” Exasperated, Ross answers, “Someone at work ate my sandwich.” Revving up his sarcasm engine, Chandler asks, “Well, what did the police say?” Annoyed by the sarcastic question and feeling compelled to clarify, Ross continues, “My Thanksgiving leftover sandwich. I can’t believe someone ate it!” Not backing down on the triviality of the situation, Chandler fires back, “Ross, it’s just a sandwich!” Defiantly, Ross challenges Chandler’s opinion, responding, “Just a sandwich? Look, I am 30 years old, I’m about to be divorced twice and I just got evicted! That sandwich was the only good thing going on in my life! Someone ate the only good thing going on in my life!” Taking pity on her brother, Monica offers, “Okay, look, I-I have enough stuff for one more sandwich, I mean I was going to eat it myself, but…” Before she can finish, Ross meekly accepts the gesture telling Monica, “That-that would be incredible. Thank you so much.” He then goes full on Red Ross, protesting, “I-I still can’t believe someone ate it!!” Pulling back from the edge, Ross continues, “I mean, look, I left a note and everything.” He hands the note to Chandler who reads it aloud: “Knock-knock. Who’s there? Ross Geller’s lunch. Ross Geller’s lunch, who? Ross Geller’s lunch, please don’t take me. Okay?” Joey interjects, “I’m surprised you didn’t go home wearing your lunch.” Trying to be helpful, Phoebe tells Ross, “Okay, look you wanna hold onto your food? You gotta scare people off. I learned that living on the street.” Intrigued, Ross asks Phoebe, “Really?! So what would you say Pheebs? Stuff like uh, ‘Keep your mitts off my grub?'” [The Knockout] His sarcasm engine now completely revved up and fully humming, Chandler asks, “Say Ross, when you picture Phoebe living on the street, is she surrounded by the entire cast of Annie?”

#TheChickAndTheDuck

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