Friends S8:E3 – Happy Indigenous People’s Day, Friends Nation ✊ Let me say up front that since today is a holiday, we are going to keep our proceedings this afternoon short and sweet. That’s right…you better believe it. Reminiscent of the magic of the Holiday Armadillo, today I bring to you another installment of the Holiday Mail-In Special 💌 Never fear. When it comes to Holiday Mail-In Specials, I’m as dependable as Rivers Cuomo. That being the case, I’ll have you in and out of here quick but we have a couple of important anecdotes from today’s episode that we must do due diligence and highlight really quick. First, we must enter it into the formal record that today’s episode was heavily changed after the events of 9/11. Originally in this episode, Monica and Chandler were supposed to get detained at the airport after Chandler makes a joke about bombs. Obviously, with this episode set to air a mere month after the attacks on the World Trade Center and Pentagon, the writer’s made the right call in re-writing this episode. Given the stress our nation was under at the time, Chandler’s joke about bomb threats would have been about the worst Chan Man Quip of the Week imaginable. Secondly, we discover in this episode that Ross does yoga in a class with Mr. Treeger. Nothing super significant to break down about that, I just find it amusing picturing Ross and Treeger assisting each other with a Downward-Facing Dog pose. I mean, that’s a lovely, hilarious image that is providing me some much-needed tranquility on this holiday afternoon so on that calming note: go outside, enjoy the fresh air and have a great rest of your Holiday Mail-In Special Monday, class. See you back here next week. Nomaste 🙏
Recap in the Key of Phoebe – This is the one where Rachel tells Ross that she is pregnant and he’s the father, Monica and Chandler become frustrated when another couple also on their honeymoon keeps beating them to getting free upgrades and perks from the airline and hotel, Phoebe and Joey make up that they smell a gas leak in order to get into Monica and Chandler’s apartment while they are gone on their honeymoon, and after Ross becomes indignant as a consumer when he discovers that condoms are only effective 97 percent of the time he finally comes around to letting Rachel know he will be there with her through the pregnancy perhaps having the calm of his yoga helping him to get over himself and center his priorities. Nomaste!
Gandalf Gaffes – None. Flawless episode!
Chan Man Quip of the Week – [The Setup] Chandler is embarrassed that Monica is being overly affectionate at the airline counter in order to demonstrate that they are in their honeymoon in hopes of getting upgraded to first class like the couple in line before them (who were also on their honeymoon). When they are next in line approaching the counter, Monica commands Chandler, “Grab my ass!” The ticket agent says, “Next.” They approach the counter arm in arm and Monica informs the ticket agent, “Hi, sorry. I almost didn’t hear you, because ya know…I’m just so in love with my new husband. We’re on our honeymoon.” The ticket agent responds, “Congratulations. Okay, Mr. Bing you’ll be in 25J and Mrs. Bing you’ll be in 25K.” Caught off guard that they were being issued their original coach seats, Monica interjects, “Oh no, you see we’re on our honeymoon. So umm, can you do your little thing and bump us up to first class?” The ticket agent responds, “I’m sorry, all our first class seats are taken. That couple got the last two.” Turning to Chandler in frustration, Monica barks at him, “You see, if we’d gone around them like I said, we—She would’ve given us those tickets. Damnit!” [The Knockout] Needing an outlet for his embarrassment of how his new bride is behaving, Chandler turns directly to the ticket agent and asks, “25J and K, any chance those aren’t together?”
Featured Image Source: USC Center of Public Diplomacy
Headline Image Source: IMDb
Tags:Friends , Rivers Cuomo
I’m Gonna Have a Baby
Friends S8:E1 – What is good, Friends 20/20 Nation? It is so weird to back in class but also kind of cool. How was everyone’s summer? I know the summer started with so much promise with the vaccine roll out and a short-period where it felt like things were getting back to normal. I remember how exciting it was back in May (as we were just wrapping up Season Seven)…Read more...
Tags:Friends , Friends: The Reunion , James Brolin
Friends S7:E19 – [Long Pause] Say something clever! Okay, doesn’t have to be clever, it just has to be words. Say some words. Any words will do. Oh my God! This is the longest that anyone has not talked ever! There is nothing you can say to make this worse!! So just say something!! LOLOL…..Ross Geller, y’all!!! How’s that for a tone setter? Thought y’all could use a pick me up since…Read more...
I’m a Medical Marvel
Friends S7:E13 – Welp, it’s official. As of today, this rotten pandemic has now touched every single possible month on the calendar. Tomorrow is Groundhog Day and I’ve gotta say…I think many of us now have a new found appreciation for what Phil Connors was going through in the movie after living the same quarantine day over and over again during this past year. On the bright side, February means…Read more...
Tags:Friends , Groundhog Day , Seinfeld
Last Time I Checked This Was Still America
Friends S7:E12 – The last time I checked this was still America. What happened on Wednesday isn’t supposed to happen in this country. It is almost impossible to describe the emotions that were stirred up in me from the combination of the lack of surprise that this was the inevitable culmination of where Donald Trump had been leading the Republican Party for five years mixed with the utter disgust of…Read more...
Tags:Donald Trump , Election 2020 , Eugene Goodman , Friends , Joe Biden , Josh Hawley , Ted Cruz
Friends S7:E11 – Happy new year, Friendsters! Today, with this first post in the January following that rotten, no good, very bad Year 2020, I thought what better way to start off this amazing, cleansing chance we’ve been given for a fresh start than with a nice, piping slice of Friends 20/20 fiction. What do you think, class? Hearing no objections, let us begin and it goes a little something…Read more...
The Sanctity of the Written Word
Friends S7:E7 – Hey there, sports fans. Now that we’ve gotten past all of that election craziness, I thought it might be nice to take a week off from politics. How does that sound, class? Okay, cool. Since we’ve established that today’s post will be a politics-free zone, what is one thing that allows you to take your mind off the craziness of the political moment that we’re in? For…Read more...
Tags:Friends , New York Mets , New York Yankees
Elephants Never Forget
Friends S7:E6 – Friendinistas, I am so pleased to report that as we gather here today in Week 199 of The Resistance, the nightmare is finally drawing to a close. We are being stirred awake by the radiant warmth of the first alpenglow rays of light from dawn’s palette. Soon it will be morning again in America. We did it! On Saturday morning, three and a half days after the…Read more...
Tags:Bria Goeller , Donald Trump , Election 2020 , Friends , Joe Biden , Kamala Harris , Luciano Pavarotti , Mike Pence
Friends S6:E11 – Greetings, friends. We are at the dawn of a new year, a new decade. A deep, fresh breath of hope. We exhale and then cup hope’s renewal in our palms as if it were a northern cardinal that has somehow miraculously just landed on our shoulders with the intention of giving us a brief moment of caring submission before prompting us to release it back towards the…Read more...
Friends S6:E10 – Yo, yo, yo!!! How’s it hanging, Mercedes Friends? Welcome, welcome, welcome to the last post of the first decade of Friends 20/20! In fact, even though my boss Ted James is back from sabbatical, he’s given no indication that there are any other posts planned this December so welcome, welcome, welcome to potentially the last post of the first decade of theLeftAhead. This blog site launched in…Read more...
Tags:Friends , Y2K
Friends S6:E9 – Romans, countrymen, FRIENDS, lend me your ears. For alas, it is the time of year when the giving of thanks is near. Happy Turkey Day eve eve eve, Phoebes and Phoebos! After all I’d be remiss if I didn’t point out that the holiday season is upon us, hmm. Today, we have the distinct privilege of recapping not only one of the funniest Thanksgiving FRIENDS episodes but,…Read more...
Kenny the Copy Guy
Friends S6:E8 – I’d been running this scam for two years now and up until this point, it had been working beautifully. I’ve gotten two administrative assistants, one accountant, and half a dozen random visitors in the office to sleep with me by pretending to be a a big shot here at Ralph Lauren. The scam is always different, that’s part of the beauty in it. I’ll tell one woman…Read more...
Tags:Friends , Ralph Lauren
How You Doin’?
Friends S6:E7 – How you doin’, Nation of Friends? I can’t tell you how excited I am to title this post and open with the iconic Joey Tribbiani pick up line! Welcome back to the Price is Friends. Before we commence with this week’s session of interfacing, let me begin by wishing everyone a Happy Veterans Day. For those of you readers out there who served, thank you for your…Read more...
Friends S6:E6 – Well hello again, Blog Friendly Gentlepeople! Hope you all had a fantastic Halloween and that your November is off to a lovely start. In the event that that’s not your truth and because it’s not your truth you can use a fun and exciting distraction from Everyday Life (yes, the rumors are true…Coldplay is dropping a new album with this name on November 22nd and we here…Read more...
Tags:Coldplay , Friends , Robert De Niro
Stop Typing “Stop Typing”
Friends S6:E5 – What’s good, Friendsters? Since this is our last convening in the month of October, let me start off by saying, Happy Halloween ????? Does everyone already know what they’re dressing up as next Thursday? I sure do. I’m going to dress up as my boss, Ted James. My costume will be a ghost because that’s exactly what theLeftAhead editor-in-chief has been this fall while he’s allegedly been…Read more...
Fake Accent University
Friends S6:E4 – Good evening, Friendinistas. Happy Indigenous Peoples’ Day. I hope Week 143 of The Resistance finds you well. It should. We are finally (FINALLY) starting to see cracks in the shameful “political self-preservation over country” congressional Republican wall protecting President Trump. With today’s damning testimony by former White House advisor on Russia and Europe Fiona Hill in the impeachment inquiry coupled with the near universal backlash to our…Read more...
Friends S6:E3 – Wanted. Female roommate. Non-smoker. Non-ugly. What it do, Friendsters? Do you know anyone who needs a place? Just kidding. Your humble servant Kenny A. doesn’t actually need a roommate. And even if I did, this would be a terrible time to interview prospects since I’m just getting over a vicious cold (there’s probably still lots and lots of wicked germs at my place). Speaking of the cold…Read more...
Tags:Friends , Ralph Lauren
The End of an Era
Friends S6:E2 – Hey there, Mercedes Friends! What is the damn dealy-o? Hope everyone is having a fantastic Monday. Hopefully a better Monday than me, at least. I’m sorry to report that I’ve come down with a cold and I’m feeling about ten underground stories under the weather. So in case you were wondering, I’m writing today’s post from bed. I mean, I figure my boss is on sabbatical and…Read more...
Friends S6:E1 – Yo!!! What is up, Friends Nation? Can you believe it? We’re finally back together once again to embark on our sixth trip around the sun together. I’m feeling relaxed and refreshed from yet another summer break spent on the beaches of my infamous, secret “undisclosed location” tropical island. Having literally just returned home from said location yesterday, I was pleasantly surprised to arrive back at theLeftAhead offices…Read more...
Identical Hand Twins
Friends S5:E23 & Friends S5:E24 – This hand is your hand! This hand is my hand! Oh wait, that’s your hand! No wait, it’s my hand! Hey there, preFrienders. I’m so pleased that you’ve all chosen to gather here today to be a part of a post that’s five years in the making. (Well, four years, nine months, and four days, to be exact.) On September 22nd, 2014, we started…Read more...
The King and Eye
Friends S5:E22 – Howdy, Friendsters. Welcome, welcome, welcome, to the last stop before the halfway point of this wacky train ride we call Friends 20/20. That’s right, travel enthusiasts. The countdown clock to Summer Vacation 2019 has hit the one week mark and we have successful rounded first and are now sliding into second on the base path for this entire damn project! I can’t lie. Being as how this…Read more...
Friends S5:E21 – Yo, yo, ma Friends. How’s everyone doing on this, the first Monday in May? Hopefully no one in the class is fighting off any repercussions from an overly festive Cinco De Mayo yesterday. (Since everyone else is sharp and focused, that probably means I’m speaking to you, Johnny. Take off those shades in my classroom. Never mind, put them back on. You look absolutely wrecked. Haven’t you…Read more...
Close Call Day
Friends S5:E20 – Hey there, FRIEND-watching galaxy! I hope you had another excellent week in the vortex. Speaking of such, while we all know there’s nothing better than living that vortex life, we also all know that writing (or in your case reading) weekly blog posts on the 20th anniversary of the initial airing of each episode can sometimes be tedious, tiring, soul-crushing work. (Especially when I assign homework. Right,…Read more...
Tags:Fatboy Slim , Friends , International Workers' Day
Order and Law
#TheChickAndTheDuck Chan Man Quip of the Week – [The Knockout] Chandler pauses and not having anything to lose with Joey’s non-English speaking Grandmother, drops the hammer with, “So, you’re old and small.” [The Setup] The gang is hanging out at Monica and Rachel’s apartment watching the episode of Law & Order that Joey is supposed to make an appearance in playing a criminal with his biggest fan (his grandmother who…Read more...
Tags:Friends , Law & Order , Missy Elliot , Seinfeld
Mmm, Noodle Soup
Friends S5:E18 – Good afternoon, Friendsters. Please take your seats so we can begin. How’s everyone doing today? Between you and me, I personally have a pretty severe case of The Mondays. I mean, can you blame me? Two Mondays ago, I was on the southeastern coast of Italy having the time of my life in Polignano a Mare eating seafood pasta, drinking wine, and soaking in the true, magical…Read more...
Tags:Adriatic Sea , Friends
Hot Girl Parallel Universe
Friends S5:E17 – Bonjour, gentil mesdammes et messieurs. I’m happy to be blogging to you live and direct from a little continent known to mes amis en France as L’Europe! I’m currently writing to you aboard a train from Paris to München ? (Munich back stateside) and I’m quite thrilled to be making Friends 20/20 history with my first-ever column written and posted from overseas. As I predicted last time,…Read more...
Friends S5:E16 – Heyo, heyo, it’s off to Perk we go. What is good loyal readers? Welcome, welcome, welcome to the last post before the first Friends 20/20 post written in Europe. That’s right. If you remember our discussion last week, you might recall me reporting that exactly two weeks from tomorrow…I’ll be leaving on a jet plane for London, Baby! (And if #Brexit is a disaster on March 29th…Read more...
My Best Friend and My Sister
Friends S5:E15 – Hey there, Big FRIENDly Giants! How’s everyone doing this fantastic Monday afternoon? I won’t lie, I’m having a hard time focusing today. If you remember, as my New Year’s Resolution this year I set out to have fewer MAIL-IN SPECIALS in 2019 than ever before. The key word here being FEWER. Yes, class, the devil is in the details. Last time I checked, fewer does not mean…Read more...
They Don’t Know That We Know That They Know
Friends S5:E14 – Greeting, love birds. Hope you’re having an excellent Monday before Valentine’s Day. I also hope everyone has their plans for Thursday squared away. Here’s a friendly VD tip from Uncle Kenny: there’s nothing worse than waiting until Thursday at 5:00pm as you get off work to run to the store and try to find some flowers and candy for your significant other. Trust me. I’m drawing from…Read more...
We Will Meet at the Checkout Counter
Friends S5:E13 – What? Is? Good? Friendsters? Can you believe it’s February already? Hope you’re warm, cozy, and ready to snuggle in with another sexy installment of Friends 20/20. How sexy? Well, you and I sexy, of course! So sexy, in fact, we (and when I say we…I mean society) get to witness one of our six favorite characters on our first favorite show experience a life-altering series of events….Read more...
Friends S5:E12 – Greetings, Friendinistas. I hope Week 105 of The Resistance finds you well. Given that we are reconvening as an indisputably unnecessary government shutdown is beleaguering our country, I hope you’re having a resilient MLK Day. We reflect on Dr. King’s legacy today while we simultaneously struggle to overcome the racism and fear mongering behind the manufactured crisis that has resulted in millions of federal employees struggling to…Read more...
I’m Gonna Go Do My Laundry
Friends S5:E11 – Hey there, Mercedes Friends! Can you believe it’s that time again already? We are back again for calendar year 2019. Hard to believe but we’re already in our sixth calendar year. (But who’s counting?) Well class, I thought today we could discuss New Year’s resolutions. (Those of you who did your homework for today’s episode probably aren’t surprised.) Having just returned from getting right mentally, physically, and…Read more...
Friends S5:E10 – Howdy, Friendsters. Welcome, welcome, welcome to our last post of 2018! So, I’ve had a frustrating day. Being as it’s eight days until Christmas, I decided to brave the insanity and go to the post office to send all of the Christmas gifts that I needed to send to my extended family. The line to mail packages was literally out of the post office door and I…Read more...
Tags:Beaches , Bette Midler , Friends
Friends S5:E9 – Hey now, Mercedes-Friends! How’s everyone doing this fine Monday afternoon? I’m spectacular, thanks for asking. Why am I spectacular? I’m really enjoying our short respite from the madness that is the holidays. The hubba balloo of Thanksgiving is two weeks behind us and the hubba balloo of Christmas is two weeks away so I’m taking advantage of this brief opportunity to catch my breath. Plus, it’s December…Read more...
Tags:2mental , Friends , Jewelz , Ted James
More Turkey, Mr. Chandler?
Friends S5:E8 – Turkey for you. Turkey for me. I like to eat turkey with my friend Phoebe.. Hey there, Friendsters. The holiday season is upon us, hm? Glad to be back with you on this fine Thanksgiving Eve Eve Eve. Despite the Double G-extravaganza that we’ll be discussing later, today’s episode aka The One with All the Thanksgivings is one of the funniest episodes to date. It’s got everything….Read more...
See You Ladle
Friends S5:E7 – Your best friend Harry has a brother Larry. In five days from now he’s going to marry. He’s hoping you can make it there if you can ’cause in the ceremony you’ll be the best man. What it do, Friendsters? Let me start out by congratulating the American people for voting to bust a move on putting checks and balances in place for an administration run amok….Read more...
Tags:Election 2018 , Friends , Young MC
It’s What Grown-Ups Do
Friends S5:E6 – Greetings, Friendinistas. I hope Week 94 of The Resistance finds you well. To start, let me state the obvious. This post is going to be a ? Grade-A Mail-In Special. If you have to ask why, you probably haven’t been paying close enough attention to your favorite pop culture blog series since this happened. While writing that now infamous post, we made the decision to soldier on…Read more...
Tags:Beto O'Rourke , Donald Trump , Election 2018 , Friends
Friends S5:E5 – Trick or Phoebe, smell my Phoebe, give me something Phoebe to eat. If you Phoebe, I don’t Phoebe, I’ll Phoebe down your underwear! What. Is. Good, Mercedes Friends? Welcome to our fifth annual Halloween Post-Extravaganza! ? (I realize that my use of the comma there means a) I could be writing a Halloween extravaganza blog post or b) we could be celebrating Halloween after having an extravaganza.)…Read more...
Tags:Donald Trump , Election 2018 , Elevator Tape , Friends , Me Too Movement
A Selfless Good Dead
Friends S5:E4 – Hey there. Fancy seeing you here. How goes it, Friendsters? Good to be with you once again on this incogitable Monday afternoon. (That’s right, I went with incogitable.) We have a fine post for you today. Maybe one of our finest posts ever. (The Conan O’Brien tribute that you just participated in was proudly [but unfortunately] brought to you by the abandonment of the hour-long format on…Read more...
Tags:Friends , Seth Meyers , SNL
Friends S5:E3 – Aaay!!!! What’s good, Mercedes Friends? Welcome, welcome, welcome to the 97th POST IN THE FRIENDS 20/20 BLOG SERIES!!!! WE. DID. IT. WE MADE IT TO 97!!!! HURRAY!!!! Wait, why is this significant? That’s a great question, class. I’m glad you asked and I will answer vis-à-vis the following: since three of our 97 posts were written for double-episodes, it just so happens that today we are writing…Read more...
Tags:Brett Kavanaugh , Fonzie , Friends , Happy Days
What About Gunther?
Friends S5:E2 – It has been four long, hard years since she first walked into my life. Sure, when that happened she was a hot mess – drenched and wearing a wedding dress that she clearly didn’t need to be wearing. Everyone else here in the coffee shop probably thought she looked crazy. But not me. I didn’t care. She was an angel, the most beautiful woman I had ever…Read more...
Friends S5:E1 – And….we’re back. Is it just me or did that feel like a really long break? Don’t get me wrong, it was a much needed, well received really long break. But (that one time) when we graduated from Friends 20/20 University with our Bachelors degrees and then said our “so longs” for the summer…ya know, (that one time) back in early May…yeah, that feels like so, so long…Read more...
Tags:Beto O'Rourke , Brett Kavanaugh , Cobra Kai , Donald Trump , Friends , Gheorge Mureșan , My Giant , Ted Cruz , Will & Grace , William Zabka
Friends S4:E23 & Friends S4:E24 – Hey there, Mercedes-Friends! Welcome, welcome, welcome to Last Week of Friends 20/20, Season Four Tonight. I’m your host, Ken Adams. Let’s begin tonight with a quick recap of the week. Donald Trump did crazy things. Moving right along, can you believe that as soon as you finish reading today’s Chan Man Quip of the Week we will be ? officially certified as 40 percent…Read more...
The Dinosaur Dudes
Friends S4:E22 – Greetings, Friendinistas. I hope Week 67 of The Resistance finds you well. I think it’s important to remember, as we fight day in and day out to keep the dark cloud of tyranny from snuffing out the light of our democratic institutions, just how slippery a slope to authoritarianism our current predicament possibly could be. This week, pop culture provided us a stark reminder. (Because I know…Read more...
Tags:Donald Trump , Friends , Mike Pence , The Handmaid's Tale
We’re Gonna Climb Mount Everest
Friends S4:E21 – Hey there, Friendsters. How’s everyone doing on this pleasant Monday afternoon? I’m happy to report that since last week’s editor-approved mail-in-special, Ted James has gotten back on top of the 2018-edition of his Black & Silver blog series and thankfully does not need my assistance today in finishing his post covering yesterday’s heart-warming San Antonio Spurs Game 4 victory. That means, girls and boys, that once again…Read more...
Tags:Friends , Mount Everest
Friends S4:E20 – Hey friendlies, the most amazing thing happened to me earlier on this fine Monday morning. My editor Ted James gave me…actually, let me back up and start at the beginning. Okay, here it goes. On a whim, I stopped and picked up coffee and donuts on my way into theLeftAhead office. Normally, Mr. James barely notices when food is brought into the office but today, for some…Read more...
Friends S4:E19 – Morning’s here! Sunshine is here! The sky is clear, the morning’s here! The morning’s here!. How’s it going this fine Monday morning, Friendsters? I’m happy to announce that (including today) there are only five episodes remaining in this, our fourth installment of Friends 20/20. Man, that summer vacation cannot get here soon enough. Thanks to the nice weather we have on tap this week Denver (with a…Read more...
Tags:Friends , Wham!
Friends S4:E18 – What is good, Nation of Friends? Good to be back with you this week for another time machine dissection of an episode of the GOAT sitcom that’s been 20 years in the making. I think I’m fully recovered now from coming down with an alien abduction two weeks ago (thanks for asking) and, since you, the devoted fans, know me as well as you do, you know…Read more...
Tags:Friends , Space Camp
I’ve Finally Got My Band
Friends S4:E17 – Knock, knock. Who’s there? PORN!. What’s happening, Mercedes Friends? The strangest thing happened to me last week. I went to bed last Sunday night and the next thing I remember, I was waking up and it was Tuesday morning. I panicked, thinking I had slept for over 24 hours straight and had missed the deadline for Friends S4:E16. (And you can imagine how awful I felt about…Read more...
Tags:Friends , March For Our Lives , Stoneman Douglas Students
Friends S4:E16 – [Begin Transmission] [Alien Voice] Greetings, Earth Friendlies. This is Zooperkroll, Supreme Leader of the Infini. My species is from the planet Visonia. Visonia is located 37 trillion miles away from Earth in the Milky Way’s Norf system. I am writing to inform you that we have abducted your Friends 20/20 blogger, Ken Adams, and are currently conducting experiments on him in outer space. Because of this prior…Read more...
Tags:Election 2018 , Friends , March For Our Lives , Space Force , Stoneman Douglas Students
Friends S4:E15 – Howdy, FRIENDS NATION. How is everyone feeling this fine Monday evening? To put it another way… what’s good with it? A lot has happened since our last convening. Sadly, right in the middle of our break (and on Valentine’s Day, of all days) there was another school shooting. My heart goes out the families and friends of the victims. That being said, it is maddening to me…Read more...
Tags:Election 2018 , Friends , Stoneman Douglas Students , The Incredible Hulk
Glow Pop Jiggly Jam
Friends S4:E14 – What is good, Friendsters? Philly friends, how you living today? What’s that? Oh snap. E-A-G-L-E-S Eagles! Fly Eagles fly! Woot woot! Yas, yas, YAS. Congratulations are in order to all of my Philly peeps out there in Friends 20/20 land. It’s been a long time coming. You really, really deserve this…so enjoy it. I’d say do it big just don’t tear down your own city but checking…Read more...
Tags:Charlton Heston , Friends , Philadelphia Eagles
Hot and Heavy
Friends S4:E13 – You say you want a piece of me? Well Baby, take a big bite.. Oh, hey. Sorry, I didn’t see you come in, girls and boys. I was, umm…yeah. I was just singing a little Pantera which is kind of weird because I don’t really listen to Pantera. (It’s almost as if I have an ulterior motive for singing 80’s glam medal ?) Anywho…how’s it going this…Read more...
Tags:Friends , Pantera
That’s Not Even a Word
Friends S4:E12 – Happy and hopeful MLK Day, Friendinistas! I hope Week 52 of The Resistance finds you well. While it’s been a tough year in many ways, our efforts to speak truth to power have yielded some incredible victories and our defense of democracy in the face of the onslaught against it has held true so far. I often joke in this column about only working one day a…Read more...
Friends S4:E11 – Happy New Year, Mercedes Friends! I hope 2018 has been good to you all thus far. I can’t believe we’re already eight days into our fifth calendar year together. This first week of the twentieth anniversary of 1998 flew by. On the other hand, I can’t believe that we’re only eight days into 2018 and I’m already back to work. It kind of feels like we got…Read more...
Christmas Will Be Snowy
Friends S4:E10 – ‘Tis the season, Budolph the Friend-nosed Reindeers! How is everyone doing this fine December Monday? If you haven’t noticed, I’m in quite the festive mood. Not only ’tis it the season, ’tis also our last convening in the Year Of Our Lord 2017. And what a crazy, whirlwind year it’s been. We’ve organized a Friendinistas resistance to the presidency of Donald J. Trump, fought our way through…Read more...
Tags:Christmas , Friends
Gandalf the Wizard
Friends S4:E9 – “Okay, Chandler. See you tomorrow.” Mike hung up the phone and headed from his courtside seat into the United Center tunnel thinking to himself, “What a dominating win by my Bulls over our arch-rival Knicks. Isn’t it ironic (don’t you think) that I have an early morning flight to New York tomorrow to party with my college bros. After all, they are Knicks fans. I’ll have to…Read more...
Tags:Dennis Rodman , Friends , Madonna , The Lord of the Rings
Va Fa Napoli
Friends S4:E8 – Happy Thanksgiving Eve Eve Eve, girls and boys. Everybody settle down. I know we’re all anxious to get on to our holiday weekend and our two-week break from class, but we’ve got some important business to attend to prior to shifting into turkey-mode. As you all know, I have your Halloween “Which FRIEND R U?” video assignments graded and (drum roll please) every single last one of…Read more...
Wordless Sound Poems
Friends S4:E7 – What? Does? It? Do, Friendsters? I hope everybody has had a great couple of weeks. As you likely noticed last week, I decided to devote this section of Hard-ass and Wuss to a little fan fiction of the short story variety. That being the case, I deprived myself of the opportunity to check in with you guys a week ago. I suspect you weren’t too upset since…Read more...
Hard-ass and Wuss
Friends S4:E6 – Hard-ass had never faced such a perilous predicament. She had just returned home after a seemingly successful catering evert only to open up her email and click on a video from the customer, Dr. Shake, that revealed he had captured her catering partner, Wuss. Not only was Dr. Shake refusing to pay for the catering services rendered for his oldest daughter’s wedding but his video informed Hard-ass…Read more...
Tags:Friends , The Velveteen Rabbit
I’m Gonna Head
Friends S4:E5 – Trick or treat, smell my feet, give me something good to eat. Happy Halloween Eve, girls and boys! How’s everybody doing on this fine Monday morning? How am I doing? Well, golly gee…thanks for asking. Personally, I’m a little sleepy after staying up late to watch an all-time classic roller coaster of a World Series game last night. And, I’m sure you can guess that (as a…Read more...
Tags:David S. Pumpkins , Friends , Houston Strong
I Wanna Quit the Gym
Friends S4:E4 – Happy Monday, Friendsters! Hope everyone had a more relaxing weekend than me. Since (if you’ve read this blog series for any amount of time) you know that I really enjoy my down time, you can probably guess how annoyed I was when Ted James (Editor-in-chief of the blog, in other words…my boss) called theLeftAhead’s entire staff into a weekend-long strategy meeting here at our central offices in…Read more...
Tags:Broad City , Friends , Shania Twain
Pulling a Monica
Friends S4:E3 – What it do, Friendinistas. I hope Week 38 of The Resistance finds you well. Leading our efforts this week is a progressive lion who doubles as Secretary of State, Rex Tillerson. In a hardcore resistance move straight out of the Che Guevara playbook, Tillerson called President Trump a “moron” or “f*cking moron” depending on which “fake news” source you want to believe. Despite attempts on the right…Read more...
Tags:Friends , Jason Aldean , Las Vegas Shooting , Tom Petty
Lipper From Chipper
Friends S4:E2 – Hey there, Friends fam. Sorry for the melancholy greeting but it really can’t be helped. Waking up this morning to the news of another deadliest mass shooting in modern U.S. history was so gut-wrenching and awful. In fact, much like Phoebe in the Headline Image we’ve used for today’s post, all I wanted to do this morning was put my head down and pet one of my…Read more...
Tags:Friends , Las Vegas Shooting , Tom Petty
Fine By Me
Friends S4:E1 – Guess who’s back? Back again. Kenny’s back. Tell your FRIENDS. And it feels so good to be back. Greetings, welcome, and great to see you, Mercedes-Friends Nation! Man, it feels like we’ve been gone for a long time. In fact, the last time we got together was quite literally one hundred President Trump controversies ago. So, politics aside, how was your summer? As you might have suspected,…Read more...
Tags:Friends , Hurricane Relief , JAY-Z , Tim Duncan
Best Friends Forever
Friends S3:E25 – I’m so excited, and I just can’t hide it. Yo… what is good, Mercedes-Friends. Welcome, welcome, welcome to the Season 3 Finale of Friends 20/20. Considering that these posts are generally three to seven minute reads, you are mere minutes away from our summer vacation. As I mentioned last week, I’m going off the grid somewhere tropical as soon as I hand this column off to my…Read more...
You’re In Sample
Friends S3:E24 – What’s good, Friendlies? Happy Monday to you. Welcome to the penultimate post of Friends 20/20, Season 3. Typing those words is music to my fingers. I won’t lie, I am readier than ready for summer vacation. In about one week and four hours from now I will be touching down somewhere tropical and dropping off of the grid faster than AT&T cellular service in a building with…Read more...
Tags:Billy Crystal , Christine Taylor , Friends , Robin Williams
What’s a Koondis With You?
Friends S3:E23 – Hey there, Friendinistas. What’s a koondis with you? Welcome to Week 15 of the resistance. I hope this message finds you well. Our feckless would-be Supreme Leader just celebrated the completion of his first 100 days in office by holding a 2016 campaign rally in Harrisburg, VA at the exact same time he should have been in the audience at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner listening to…Read more...
Tags:Friends , Hasan Minhaj
Friends S3:E22 – Okay, okay, everyone settle down and take your seats. Look, I know you’re all all very anxious to get your grades back on the homework assignment but we’re going to do that at the end of class. Come on…I wasn’t born yesterday. First, we’ll do today’s lesson. Then, you get your papers back. If we do it the other way around, many of you will be so…Read more...
Tags:Ben Stiller , Dwight Schrute , Friends
The Chick and The Duck
Friends S3:E21 – Welcome back, girls and boys. I hope everyone enjoyed our week off and more importantly, I hope everyone took that extra time to really apply yourselves to putting forward your best effort on the homework assignment. Go ahead and pass your papers to the front, class. Let’s see what we have here. That means you too, Johnny. No more monkey business. Just because you’re sitting in the…Read more...
The House of No Imagination
Friends S3:E20 – Good day, gals and guys. How’s everyone living out there on this beautiful afternoon? Holy moly, I hope the weather is as nice where you are as it is here (in my undisclosed location). Don’t you just love Spring? Where is my undisclosed location? Let’s just say I’m on the road again and on assignment for a super secret surprise project. Therefore, (you know what’s coming next)…Read more...
Friends S3:E19 – Oh mommy, oh daddy, I am a big old baddie! Oh mommy, oh daddy, I am a big old baddie!. Nation of Friends: What. Is. Up? Happy Monday! And what a Monday it is. The Affordable Care Act aka Obamacare is still the law of the land, I finally got to watch Rogue One (excellent) over the weekend after having had the misfortune of squandering multiple chances…Read more...
Tags:Final Four , Frankie Goes to Hollywood , Friends
It’s a Real Mustard-tastrophe
Friends S3:E18 – What’s good, Friendsters? Hope everyone had a fantastic weekend. My weekend? It was up and down, thanks for asking. What caused the up and down? Wow, you all are inquisitive today. Well, since you ask, I’ll bite. So, first the down. I woke up Saturday morning in debilitating pain from a pinched nerve in my lower back. It was awful. Shortly after waking up, I realized that…Read more...
Tags:Broad City , Bruce Willis , Daniel Stern , Die Hard , Friends , Home Alone , Love
Beam Me Up, Jesus
Friends S3:E17 – Howdy, Mercedes-Friends! How’s everyone doing this lovely Monday afternoon? I’m feeling nice and rested after our one-week hiatus. It was greatly needed too considering the brutal two-week Ross and Rachel break up sequence we were forced to endure prior to the break. In fact, I’m feeling so rested that (surprise, surprise) I have every intention to completely mail in this week’s installment. Before you complain, let me…Read more...
Tags:Faye Dunaway , Friends , La La Land , Moonlight , Warren Beatty
We Were on a Break
Friends S3:E16 – Okay, here we go. Yes, boys and girls, the second part of our torturous journey through Friends emotional hell is somehow already upon us. Has it really already been a week? Time flies, I guess, when you’re dreading having to write a gut wrenching blog post. Since we have no choice but to dive right back into the belly of the beast, I will spare you any…Read more...
Tags:Carrie Fisher , Friends
Let’s Take a Break
Friends S3:E15 – This really sucks. I won’t lie, I’ve been dreading the moment that is now upon us since the beginning of the year. I mean, situational comedy is meant to be a lighthearted escape from the grind of daily life. It is not supposed to be this heavy, this heartbreaking. Or maybe the fact that it is, in this case, is part of the genius of Friends? I’m…Read more...
Tags:Friends , U2
Friends S3:E14 – Welcome, students. Please take your seats. Okay, now that everyone is seated, pop quiz, hot shot. Actually, not a pop quiz (I just wanted to reference Dennis Hopper from Speed). Since we’re keeping it one hundred, you’re right…I did warn you about a test last week. So it should come as no surprise that I’m asking you to answer the following question: What is a Kiryot Moriah?…Read more...
Tags:Dennis Hopper , Friends , Jurassic Park , New England Patriots , Speed , Vanessa Bayer
Friends S3:E13 – Greetings, Friendinistas. I hope that day eleven of the resistance finds you well. Let’s start with the good news. On the bright side, we’re still here and, as of today, we’re still free to congregate on these here interwebs to discuss the world’s greatest sitcom. Somebody mark the tape. As soon as I finish writing this post and hit “publish” later this evening, Friends 20/20 will have…Read more...
Tags:Conan O'Brien , El Chapo , Friends , Lithuania National Team , Star Trek
The Empty Vase
Friends S3:E12 – Hiya. How are all of my incredible friends doing today on this our final convening of the Obama presidency? Happy MLK Day to all! In what is rapidly becoming an annual tradition for the Friends 20/20 blog series, I intend to keep today’s festivities short and sweet out of respect for those things that are desperately more important than sitcoms and pop culture. I’m sure many of…Read more...
Run and Hide
Friends S3:E11 – Hey there, Friendsters! Happy New Year! I hope everybody out there had a magical holiday season and is off to a fantastic start with keeping your new year’s resolutions in tact as we start the second week of 2017. Nine days in and I’m still pitching a perfect game with all of my personal resolutions. Thanks for asking. Professionally, we’re off to a little bit of a…Read more...
Tags:Andy Garcia , Friends
The Tray Spot
Friends S3:E10 – No, I don’t want no scrud, a scrud is a Brown Bird that can’t get no love from me, hanging out the passenger side of her older sister’s ride trying to sell cookies to me. Yo! What is new, my Friendsetters? Hope everyone is having a splendid holiday season. We’ve been on hiatus since the Monday prior to Thanksgiving, so there is much to catch up on….Read more...
The Geller Cup
Friends S3:E9 – Well it’s Monday night, a new week has begun. I turn my TV on for some pigskin fun. Click over to that one network with ESP, the lamest game each week is their specialty. You know I gotta get ready, make everything right. ‘Cause all my rowdy friends are coming over tonight. So, are you ready? I mean, are you ready? Are you ready, ready? Are you…Read more...
Thread the Needle
Friends S3:E8 – God, it was awful. Like many Americans, it was one of the most disturbing nights of my life. It just felt so violating. Not because conservatism was upsetting progressivism. As unfortunate as the political ramifications are, I’ve lived through tough election beats before. They hurt, for sure, but nothing like this. This was violating on a much deeper level. Because this election, at his core, had become…Read more...
Tags:Donald Trump , Election 2016 , Friends , Hillary Clinton , Kate McKinnon , Leonard Cohen
Mr. Big Shot
Friends S3:E7 – Okay, boys and girls. Here we are less than 24 hours away from Election Day in the United States of America. Today we will either be writing post number 53 in our 236 part Friends 20/20 blog series, or, if Donald Trump gets elected tomorrow, we will be writing post number 53 in our 53 part Oh Shit, Writing About a 20 Year Old Sitcom Doesn’t Matter…Read more...
Tags:Chauncey Billups , Donald Trump , Election 2016 , Friends
Don’t Say Anything
Friends S3:E6 – When black cats prowl and pumpkins gleam, may luck be yours on Halloween. Hey there, boys and girls. Happy Halloween to you and yours! How cool is it that the wickedest of wicked holidays is on a Monday this year? I’m super stoked that we get to spend a few minutes together on the scariest day of the year. If you guessed that your boy Kenny Adams…Read more...
Friends S3:E5 – Happy Monday morning, Friends Crafters. Glad to be back together with you for the fifth consecutive week. I’m taking some initiative today by trying to get this post written and delivered to you before embarking on my four-hour outing to Top Golf (I think the technical term is lunch break). Indeed, today is one of those rare occasions where I woke up early with an extra skip…Read more...
Tags:Bone Thugs-n-Harmony , Friends , Ken Bone
Friends S3:E4 – “There’s got to be a better way!” Turning to my Amazing Discoveries co-host, “Wow. That’s really profound and topical, Kevin. After watching that debate last night, I think you’re flingin’-flangin’ right.” Hey there, everybody. Have you caught your breath from witnessing Donald Trump’s attempt to drag the entire country through the mud last night? Speaking of amazing discoveries, Trump’s Access Hollywood video, tho. Now that’s what I…Read more...
Tags:Donald Trump , Election 2016 , Friends , Hillary Clinton
Hug and Roll
Friends S3:E3 – Howdy, gals and guys. How’s everyone doing today? Well, I’m a bit perplexed (thanks for asking). The reason? Here we are sharing in only our third post of the season but somehow we’ve already made it to October. Can you believe it? I know you’re thinking, “Surely this is some sort of mistake.” Maybe, let me double check. (Looking up at my calendar.) Nope, it’s definitely October…Read more...
Tags:David Arquette , Friends
Drink the Fat
Friends S3:E2 – Howdy? How goes it out there for all of you on this beautiful autumn Monday, my fantastic Mercedes Friends? Personally, I have a lot of balls in the air today. For starters, today is a travel day for me as I will be catching the red-eye out to the West Coast (Portlandia to be exact). Secondly, tonight is the first Presidential Debate between Secretary Hillary Clinton and…Read more...
Hold Me Close Young Tony Danza
Friends S3:E1 – But oh how it feels so real lying here with no one near. Only you and you can hear me when I say softly…(pause)…slowly…(wait for it)…hold me close young Tony Danza. Count the headlights on the highway. YO! YO! YO! How the heck are you, my BFGFF’s (Big Freindly Giant Friends Fans)? Can you believe it? After a long and relaxing summer break, we’re finally back for…Read more...
Tags:Donald Trump , Election 2016 , Friends , Hillary Clinton , Saved by the Bell , Tony Danza
Oh My God
Friends S2:E24 – Her name was Lola. She was a showgirl with yellow feathers in her hair and a dress cut down to there. She would merengue and do the cha-cha and while she tried to be a star, Tony always tended bar. Yo! What is the damn dee-lee-o, Friends Crafters? OH. MY. GOD. It’s hard to believe but the end is nigh for the second installment of Friends 20/20….Read more...
Tags:Bernie Sanders , Election 2016 , Friends
Joseph the Processor Guy
Friends S2:E23 – What it do, Friendsinistas? Hope you’re doing well. We have been keeping mad busy here in the TLA bunker these past few weeks. As loyal readers, you’ve probably noticed that late Spring into early Fall is theLeftAhead’s busy season, so to speak. The reason for that is two of our Feature blog series (Black & Silver and Friends 20/20) start to overlap in late April when the…Read more...
Tags:Charlie Sheen , Friends
The Staging Area
Friends S2:E22 – Hola, damas y caballeros. ¿Qué hay de nuevo? Well, I’m back in beautiful Colorado. Strike that. I’m back in Colorado. When it’s May and we’re still getting winter storms that include snow flurries, there’s a few other adjectives I would use to describe my state of residence other than beautiful. But that’s neither here nor there. I’m glad to be back and rested as you and I…Read more...
Let’s Take This Outside
Friends S2:E21 – Howdy, cowgirls and cowboys! Since this column is my first chance to write on the matter, let me begin by saying, RIP sweet prince. Now that that’s been said upfront (more on the subject later), greetings from Bluff City. That’s right, I’m in Memphis, Tennessee killing time this lovely Monday afternoon before I have to catch my flight back to Denver, Colorado later this evening. I’m currently…Read more...
Tags:Dazed and Confused , Friends , Prince
It’s the College Playoffs
Friends S2:E20 – Hey there, Mercedes Friends. How’s everyone doing this fine Monday afternoon? Let me say up front that I am having quite a hectic afternoon, myself, so today’s post just might make it into the running for shortest Friends 20/20 blog posts to date. No, don’t worry, everything is okay (you are so sweet for asking, though). I’m not in the middle of any kind of serious crisis….Read more...
Tags:Final Four , Friends
Oh Sweet Moses
Friends S2:E19 – Howdy, ladies and gents. Greetings and salutations to all on this fine Monday morning. I hope everyone had a hopping Easter weekend. (You see what I did there? Hopping, as in Easter Bunny.) Isn’t March Madness a great time of year? Besides college hoops, spring is in the air, flowers are blooming, and birds are chirping. On top of it all, amazingly enough, our time together is…Read more...
Friends S2:E18 – Jumpman, Jumpman, Jumpman, them boys up to something. They just spent like two or three weeks out the country. Them boys up to something, they just not just bluffing. We’ve been Spring Break chilling and hard to find, like woo. But now we’ve reemerged back on that Friends grind, like woo. And our squad just hit that Ginobilii on the Warriors hype, like woo. Ha, ha, yes!…Read more...
Mr. Johnny New Eggs
Friends S2:E17 – What’s good, Friendsters? Welcome, welcome to another edition of theLeftAhead’s 236 part series Friends 20/20. We’re honored to have you and glad you could spare a few moments on this beautiful Monday to reminisce upon all of the hilarious hijinks of yet another episode of the GOAT sitcom. I can’t lie. As much progress as I’ve made this year at demonstrating my professionalism (as well as my…Read more...
Tags:Adam Goldberg , Dazed and Confused , Friends , Taylor Swift
Can Open, Worms Everywhere
Friends S2:E16 – Aye, y’all heard about the good news? Y’all sleeping on me, huh? Had a good snooze? Wake up, Friendsters, wake up. We ’bout to get this paper. Aren’t you excited? Sure, it’s another Munday. But hey, at least there is new Kanye in the world. Granted, new Kanye that, in order to listen to it, you have to sign up for a 30 day free trial with…Read more...
Tags:Friends , Kanye West , SNL , Vanessa Bayer
Friends S2:E15 – And the Colorado Rocky Mountain high, I’ve seen it raining fire in the sky. You can talk to God and listen to the casual reply. Rocky Mountain high, Colorado. Rocky Mountain high? At this point, unfortunately, it’s more like Rocky Mountain Hangover, right Colorado? Nevertheless, how bout them Broncos? Congratulations are in order to all of the football fanatics currently residing in Broncos Country. What an impressive…Read more...
Tags:Friends , Super Bowl 50