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Written on:November 12, 2018
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Friends S5:E7Your best friend Harry has a brother Larry. In five days from now he’s going to marry. He’s hoping you can make it there if you can ’cause in the ceremony you’ll be the best man. What it do, Friendsters? Let me start out by congratulating the American people for voting to bust a move on putting checks and balances in place for an administration run amok. With the democrats retaking the House, the people have spoken with a resounding, “Donald J. Trump: we see your corruption, authoritarianism, and treason and we raise you subpoena power.” Even though these elections were a huge step in the direction of preserving democracy, I’m not going to spend a ton of time talking about the democratic blue wave that took place six nights ago because we have spent a fair amount of our time together over the past few posts discussing Election 2018. I’ll just say, thank the lord that some order has been restored and some constraint has been placed on the most dangerous menace to occupy the White House in American history and leave it at that.

I mean, now that some semblance of normalcy has been restored, it allows us to feel less guilty about discussing important rhetorical matters like asking this question: Are you the best man in your best friend Harry’s wedding? Or are you the best man in your best friend Harry’s brother Larry’s wedding? (Go ahead, go back to the top of the post and re-read the bars we opened with from the immortal Young MC song. I’ll wait.) Because either way, this is just strange. If it’s your best friend Harry’s wedding, then it totally makes sense that you’re the best man however it is really weird then that Young MC felt it necessary to mention that your best friend has a brother Larry at all. You know, I wouldn’t say Ted James, who has a brother Chris, hired me as a pop culture writer for theLeftAhead. I would just say Ted James hired me as a pop culture writer for theLeftAhead. The point being that, if indeed it’s your best friend Harry’s wedding, Young MC included irrelevant information into his rap. In this scenario, the only explanations for the inclusion are a) Young MC was (much like a basketball player missing a shot on purpose just to grab an offensive rebound before ultimately putting the ball in the bucket) just trying to pad his rhyming stats in the verse by squeezing in the line for the singular purpose of rhyming Harry and Larry or b) he included Larry’s name in the rhyme to stick it to him that Harry chose you as his best man over his own brother (in which case, Young MC is kind of being a dick here). In any event, under the scenario that you are the best man at your best friend Harry’s wedding, the mention of Larry in the rhyme, in the end, was probably not worth it because it creates confusion and opens up the possibility for the second scenario. The second scenario, once again, is that you are the best man in your best friend Harry’s brother Larry’s wedding. And that, girls and boys, would just be flat out weird. Under no circumstance would a groom-to-be ask his brother’s best friend to be his best man. If in fact Young MC is asking us, the listeners, to suspend disbelief and believe that Larry asked you, his brother Harry’s best friend, to be his best man then Young MC must forfeit his license as a master story teller and street poet. That, sir, is a stretch too far and we most definitely do not consider it stone cold rhymin’. So there you go. Hip hop’s infamous chicken or the egg style Harry-Larry debate has been thoroughly analyzed and put through the Bill Simmons-esque ringer (pun most certainly intended).

Okay, this post has officially gone off the rails. I know, I know. Probably just a little bit of a post-election sigh-of-relief mixed with exuberant delirium. Quick episode-related FRIENDS side note: for the past several years, every time my wife and I watch this episode, I claim to her that the actor playing Larry the Health Inspector is Will Forte. This drives her bonkers because she doesn’t see the resemblance. Upon the second trip through the Friends vortex where I made this claim, she looked up the episode on IMDB and informed me that the actor playing Larry the Health inspector is in fact named Gregory Sporleder. Nonetheless, because it made her so angry that I had claimed it was Will Forte, I’ve continued doing it time and time again when this episode circles back around for us in the Friends vortex. Does any one else see the resemblance? Let me know next week. Until then, see you ladle.

Recap in the Key of Phoebe – This is the one where Phoebe starts dating Health Inspector Larry, Ross temporarily moves in with Chandler and Joey after Emily’s cousin reneges on a sublet agreement, Rachel makes up a fake regatta gala as an excuse not to go to Danny’s party so she can win the upper hand in their relationship, Monica distracts Danny at the party to help Rachel with her plan, Joey and Chandler grow increasingly impatient with Ross’s annoying qualities and decide to search apartment listings to help Ross find a place and move out, and Phoebe grows tired of Health Inspector Larry shutting down every restaurant that they visit so she tells him, “See you Ladle.”

Gandalf Gaffes – None. Flawless episode!

Chan Man Quip of the Week – [The Setup] Joey and Chandler return home to find boxes of Ross’s stuff costuming their entire living room. Looking around, Joey calls, “Ross?” Ross comes out of the bathroom and says, “Hey roomies!” Continuing to scan the room, Chandler starts warming up his sarcasm vocal chords by stating, “Love what you’ve done with the place.” Ross replies sheepishly, “Oh, yeah I know, I know, it’s a lot of boxes, but again I really appreciate you guys letting me stay here.” Joey reassures him by saying, “Not a problem. And listen, hey! Since you’re gonna be here for a while, why don’t—I was thinking we uh, put your name on the answering machine.” Chandler agrees, “Oh yeah!” Ross informs them of his preemptive strike by saying, “Oh, I uh, hope you don’t mind, but I kinda uh, already jazzed it up a little. Check this out.” He presses play on the machine and the instrumental to Queen’s We Will Rock You comes on followed by Ross singing, “We will, we will, call you back!” Joey tries to respond politely to Ross’s message by saying, “Hey, all right!” Seeking further affirmation, Ross asks, “Pretty cool, huh?” Chandler and Joey nod their head and laugh nervously as Ross returns to the bathroom. After Ross is gone, Joey turns to Chandler and asks, “You’re fake laughing too, right?” [The Knockout] Visibly consumed by his disdain for Ross’s singing coupled with his own fully warmed up sarcastic vocal chords, Chandler bellows into melodic verse with, “Oh, the tears are real.”

#TheChickAndTheDuck


Featured Image Source: Catraca Livre

Headline GIF Source: Tenor


It’s What Grown-Ups Do

Written on:November 5, 2018

Friends S5:E6 – Greetings, Friendinistas. I hope Week 94 of The Resistance finds you well. To start, let me state the obvious. This post is going to be a 💯 Grade-A Mail-In Special. If you have to ask why, you probably haven’t been paying close enough attention to your favorite pop culture blog series since this happened. While writing that now infamous post, we made the decision to soldier on…

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Written on:October 29, 2018

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Written on:October 15, 2018

Friends S5:E4 – Hey there. Fancy seeing you here. How goes it, Friendsters? Good to be with you once again on this incogitable Monday afternoon. (That’s right, I went with incogitable.) We have a fine post for you today. Maybe one of our finest posts ever. (The Conan O’Brien tribute that you just participated in was proudly [but unfortunately] brought to you by the abandonment of the hour-long format on…

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Written on:October 8, 2018

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Written on:October 1, 2018

Friends S5:E2 – It has been four long, hard years since she first walked into my life. Sure, when that happened she was a hot mess – drenched and wearing a wedding dress that she clearly didn’t need to be wearing. Everyone else here in the coffee shop probably thought she looked crazy. But not me. I didn’t care. She was an angel, the most beautiful woman I had ever…

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Written on:September 24, 2018

Friends S5:E1 – And….we’re back. Is it just me or did that feel like a really long break? Don’t get me wrong, it was a much needed, well received really long break. But (that one time) when we graduated from Friends 20/20 University with our Bachelors degrees and then said our “so longs” for the summer…ya know, (that one time) back in early May…yeah, that feels like so, so long…

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Written on:May 7, 2018

Friends S4:E23 & Friends S4:E24 – Hey there, Mercedes-Friends! Welcome, welcome, welcome to Last Week of Friends 20/20, Season Four Tonight. I’m your host, Ken Adams. Let’s begin tonight with a quick recap of the week. Donald Trump did crazy things. Moving right along, can you believe that as soon as you finish reading today’s Chan Man Quip of the Week we will be 💯 officially certified as 40 percent…

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Written on:April 30, 2018

Friends S4:E22 – Greetings, Friendinistas. I hope Week 67 of The Resistance finds you well. I think it’s important to remember, as we fight day in and day out to keep the dark cloud of tyranny from snuffing out the light of our democratic institutions, just how slippery a slope to authoritarianism our current predicament possibly could be. This week, pop culture provided us a stark reminder. (Because I know…

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We’re Gonna Climb Mount Everest

Written on:April 23, 2018

Friends S4:E21 – Hey there, Friendsters. How’s everyone doing on this pleasant Monday afternoon? I’m happy to report that since last week’s editor-approved mail-in-special, Ted James has gotten back on top of the 2018-edition of his Black & Silver blog series and thankfully does not need my assistance today in finishing his post covering yesterday’s heart-warming San Antonio Spurs Game 4 victory. That means, girls and boys, that once again…

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On-Again, Off-Again

Written on:April 16, 2018

Friends S4:E20 – Hey friendlies, the most amazing thing happened to me earlier on this fine Monday morning. My editor Ted James gave me…actually, let me back up and start at the beginning. Okay, here it goes. On a whim, I stopped and picked up coffee and donuts on my way into theLeftAhead office. Normally, Mr. James barely notices when food is brought into the office but today, for some…

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Phoebeball

Written on:April 9, 2018

Friends S4:E19 – Morning’s here! Sunshine is here! The sky is clear, the morning’s here! The morning’s here!. How’s it going this fine Monday morning, Friendsters? I’m happy to announce that (including today) there are only five episodes remaining in this, our fourth installment of Friends 20/20. Man, that summer vacation cannot get here soon enough. Thanks to the nice weather we have on tap this week Denver (with a…

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Chanoey

Written on:April 2, 2018

Friends S4:E18 – What is good, Nation of Friends? Good to be back with you this week for another time machine dissection of an episode of the GOAT sitcom that’s been 20 years in the making. I think I’m fully recovered now from coming down with an alien abduction two weeks ago (thanks for asking) and, since you, the devoted fans, know me as well as you do, you know…

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I’ve Finally Got My Band

Written on:March 26, 2018

Friends S4:E17 – Knock, knock. Who’s there? PORN!. What’s happening, Mercedes Friends? The strangest thing happened to me last week. I went to bed last Sunday night and the next thing I remember, I was waking up and it was Tuesday morning. I panicked, thinking I had slept for over 24 hours straight and had missed the deadline for Friends S4:E16. (And you can imagine how awful I felt about…

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Bon Voyage

Written on:March 19, 2018

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Red Ross

Written on:February 26, 2018

Friends S4:E15 – Howdy, FRIENDS NATION. How is everyone feeling this fine Monday evening? To put it another way… what’s good with it? A lot has happened since our last convening. Sadly, right in the middle of our break (and on Valentine’s Day, of all days) there was another school shooting. My heart goes out the families and friends of the victims. That being said, it is maddening to me…

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Glow Pop Jiggly Jam

Written on:February 5, 2018

Friends S4:E14 – What is good, Friendsters? Philly friends, how you living today? What’s that? Oh snap. E-A-G-L-E-S Eagles! Fly Eagles fly! Woot woot! Yas, yas, YAS. Congratulations are in order to all of my Philly peeps out there in Friends 20/20 land. It’s been a long time coming. You really, really deserve this…so enjoy it. I’d say do it big just don’t tear down your own city but checking…

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Hot and Heavy

Written on:January 29, 2018

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That’s Not Even a Word

Written on:January 15, 2018

Friends S4:E12 – Happy and hopeful MLK Day, Friendinistas! I hope Week 52 of The Resistance finds you well. While it’s been a tough year in many ways, our efforts to speak truth to power have yielded some incredible victories and our defense of democracy in the face of the onslaught against it has held true so far. I often joke in this column about only working one day a…

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Erotiery

Written on:January 8, 2018

Friends S4:E11 – Happy New Year, Mercedes Friends! I hope 2018 has been good to you all thus far. I can’t believe we’re already eight days into our fifth calendar year together. This first week of the twentieth anniversary of 1998 flew by. On the other hand, I can’t believe that we’re only eight days into 2018 and I’m already back to work. It kind of feels like we got…

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Christmas Will Be Snowy

Written on:December 18, 2017

Friends S4:E10 – ‘Tis the season, Budolph the Friend-nosed Reindeers! How is everyone doing this fine December Monday? If you haven’t noticed, I’m in quite the festive mood. Not only ’tis it the season, ’tis also our last convening in the Year Of Our Lord 2017. And what a crazy, whirlwind year it’s been. We’ve organized a Friendinistas resistance to the presidency of Donald J. Trump, fought our way through…

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Gandalf the Wizard

Written on:December 11, 2017

Friends S4:E9 – “Okay, Chandler. See you tomorrow.” Mike hung up the phone and headed from his courtside seat into the United Center tunnel thinking to himself, “What a dominating win by my Bulls over our arch-rival Knicks. Isn’t it ironic (don’t you think) that I have an early morning flight to New York tomorrow to party with my college bros. After all, they are Knicks fans. I’ll have to…

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Va Fa Napoli

Written on:November 20, 2017

Friends S4:E8 – Happy Thanksgiving Eve Eve Eve, girls and boys. Everybody settle down. I know we’re all anxious to get on to our holiday weekend and our two-week break from class, but we’ve got some important business to attend to prior to shifting into turkey-mode. As you all know, I have your Halloween “Which FRIEND R U?” video assignments graded and (drum roll please) every single last one of…

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Wordless Sound Poems

Written on:November 13, 2017

Friends S4:E7 – What? Does? It? Do, Friendsters? I hope everybody has had a great couple of weeks. As you likely noticed last week, I decided to devote this section of Hard-ass and Wuss to a little fan fiction of the short story variety. That being the case, I deprived myself of the opportunity to check in with you guys a week ago. I suspect you weren’t too upset since…

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Hard-ass and Wuss

Written on:November 6, 2017

Friends S4:E6 – Hard-ass had never faced such a perilous predicament. She had just returned home after a seemingly successful catering evert only to open up her email and click on a video from the customer, Dr. Shake, that revealed he had captured her catering partner, Wuss. Not only was Dr. Shake refusing to pay for the catering services rendered for his oldest daughter’s wedding but his video informed Hard-ass…

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I’m Gonna Head

Written on:October 30, 2017

Friends S4:E5 – Trick or treat, smell my feet, give me something good to eat. Happy Halloween Eve, girls and boys! How’s everybody doing on this fine Monday morning? How am I doing? Well, golly gee…thanks for asking. Personally, I’m a little sleepy after staying up late to watch an all-time classic roller coaster of a World Series game last night. And, I’m sure you can guess that (as a…

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I Wanna Quit the Gym

Written on:October 16, 2017

Friends S4:E4 – Happy Monday, Friendsters! Hope everyone had a more relaxing weekend than me. Since (if you’ve read this blog series for any amount of time) you know that I really enjoy my down time, you can probably guess how annoyed I was when Ted James (Editor-in-chief of the blog, in other words…my boss) called theLeftAhead’s entire staff into a weekend-long strategy meeting here at our central offices in…

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Pulling a Monica

Written on:October 9, 2017

Friends S4:E3 – What it do, Friendinistas. I hope Week 38 of The Resistance finds you well. Leading our efforts this week is a progressive lion who doubles as Secretary of State, Rex Tillerson. In a hardcore resistance move straight out of the Che Guevara playbook, Tillerson called President Trump a “moron” or “f*cking moron” depending on which “fake news” source you want to believe. Despite attempts on the right…

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Lipper From Chipper

Written on:October 2, 2017

Friends S4:E2 – Hey there, Friends fam. Sorry for the melancholy greeting but it really can’t be helped. Waking up this morning to the news of another deadliest mass shooting in modern U.S. history was so gut-wrenching and awful. In fact, much like Phoebe in the Headline Image we’ve used for today’s post, all I wanted to do this morning was put my head down and pet one of my…

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Fine By Me

Written on:September 25, 2017

Friends S4:E1 – Guess who’s back? Back again. Kenny’s back. Tell your FRIENDS. And it feels so good to be back. Greetings, welcome, and great to see you, Mercedes-Friends Nation! Man, it feels like we’ve been gone for a long time. In fact, the last time we got together was quite literally one hundred President Trump controversies ago. So, politics aside, how was your summer? As you might have suspected,…

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Best Friends Forever

Written on:May 15, 2017

Friends S3:E25 – I’m so excited, and I just can’t hide it. Yo… what is good, Mercedes-Friends. Welcome, welcome, welcome to the Season 3 Finale of Friends 20/20. Considering that these posts are generally three to seven minute reads, you are mere minutes away from our summer vacation. As I mentioned last week, I’m going off the grid somewhere tropical as soon as I hand this column off to my…

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You’re In Sample

Written on:May 8, 2017

Friends S3:E24 – What’s good, Friendlies? Happy Monday to you. Welcome to the penultimate post of Friends 20/20, Season 3. Typing those words is music to my fingers. I won’t lie, I am readier than ready for summer vacation. In about one week and four hours from now I will be touching down somewhere tropical and dropping off of the grid faster than AT&T cellular service in a building with…

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What’s a Koondis With You?

Written on:May 1, 2017

Friends S3:E23 – Hey there, Friendinistas. What’s a koondis with you? Welcome to Week 15 of the resistance. I hope this message finds you well. Our feckless would-be Supreme Leader just celebrated the completion of his first 100 days in office by holding a 2016 campaign rally in Harrisburg, VA at the exact same time he should have been in the audience at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner listening to…

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Idiot!

Written on:April 24, 2017

Friends S3:E22 – Okay, okay, everyone settle down and take your seats. Look, I know you’re all all very anxious to get your grades back on the homework assignment but we’re going to do that at the end of class. Come on…I wasn’t born yesterday. First, we’ll do today’s lesson. Then, you get your papers back. If we do it the other way around, many of you will be so…

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The Chick and The Duck

Written on:April 17, 2017

Friends S3:E21 – Welcome back, girls and boys. I hope everyone enjoyed our week off and more importantly, I hope everyone took that extra time to really apply yourselves to putting forward your best effort on the homework assignment. Go ahead and pass your papers to the front, class. Let’s see what we have here. That means you too, Johnny. No more monkey business. Just because you’re sitting in the…

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The House of No Imagination

Written on:April 3, 2017

Friends S3:E20 – Good day, gals and guys. How’s everyone living out there on this beautiful afternoon? Holy moly, I hope the weather is as nice where you are as it is here (in my undisclosed location). Don’t you just love Spring? Where is my undisclosed location? Let’s just say I’m on the road again and on assignment for a super secret surprise project. Therefore, (you know what’s coming next)…

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Relax

Written on:March 27, 2017

Friends S3:E19 – Oh mommy, oh daddy, I am a big old baddie! Oh mommy, oh daddy, I am a big old baddie!. Nation of Friends: What. Is. Up? Happy Monday! And what a Monday it is. The Affordable Care Act aka Obamacare is still the law of the land, I finally got to watch Rogue One (excellent) over the weekend after having had the misfortune of squandering multiple chances…

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It’s a Real Mustard-tastrophe

Written on:March 13, 2017

Friends S3:E18 – What’s good, Friendsters? Hope everyone had a fantastic weekend. My weekend? It was up and down, thanks for asking. What caused the up and down? Wow, you all are inquisitive today. Well, since you ask, I’ll bite. So, first the down. I woke up Saturday morning in debilitating pain from a pinched nerve in my lower back. It was awful. Shortly after waking up, I realized that…

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Beam Me Up, Jesus

Written on:March 6, 2017

Friends S3:E17 – Howdy, Mercedes-Friends! How’s everyone doing this lovely Monday afternoon? I’m feeling nice and rested after our one-week hiatus. It was greatly needed too considering the brutal two-week Ross and Rachel break up sequence we were forced to endure prior to the break. In fact, I’m feeling so rested that (surprise, surprise) I have every intention to completely mail in this week’s installment. Before you complain, let me…

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We Were on a Break

Written on:February 20, 2017

Friends S3:E16 – Okay, here we go. Yes, boys and girls, the second part of our torturous journey through Friends emotional hell is somehow already upon us. Has it really already been a week? Time flies, I guess, when you’re dreading having to write a gut wrenching blog post. Since we have no choice but to dive right back into the belly of the beast, I will spare you any…

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Let’s Take a Break

Written on:February 13, 2017

Friends S3:E15 – This really sucks. I won’t lie, I’ve been dreading the moment that is now upon us since the beginning of the year. I mean, situational comedy is meant to be a lighthearted escape from the grind of daily life. It is not supposed to be this heavy, this heartbreaking. Or maybe the fact that it is, in this case, is part of the genius of Friends? I’m…

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Jurassic Parka

Written on:February 6, 2017

Friends S3:E14 – Welcome, students. Please take your seats. Okay, now that everyone is seated, pop quiz, hot shot. Actually, not a pop quiz (I just wanted to reference Dennis Hopper from Speed). Since we’re keeping it one hundred, you’re right…I did warn you about a test last week. So it should come as no surprise that I’m asking you to answer the following question: What is a Kiryot Moriah?…

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Kobayashi Maru

Written on:January 30, 2017

Friends S3:E13 – Greetings, Friendinistas. I hope that day eleven of the resistance finds you well. Let’s start with the good news. On the bright side, we’re still here and, as of today, we’re still free to congregate on these here interwebs to discuss the world’s greatest sitcom. Somebody mark the tape. As soon as I finish writing this post and hit “publish” later this evening, Friends 20/20 will have…

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The Empty Vase

Written on:January 16, 2017

Friends S3:E12 – Hiya. How are all of my incredible friends doing today on this our final convening of the Obama presidency? Happy MLK Day to all! In what is rapidly becoming an annual tradition for the Friends 20/20 blog series, I intend to keep today’s festivities short and sweet out of respect for those things that are desperately more important than sitcoms and pop culture. I’m sure many of…

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Run and Hide

Written on:January 9, 2017

Friends S3:E11 – Hey there, Friendsters! Happy New Year! I hope everybody out there had a magical holiday season and is off to a fantastic start with keeping your new year’s resolutions in tact as we start the second week of 2017. Nine days in and I’m still pitching a perfect game with all of my personal resolutions. Thanks for asking. Professionally, we’re off to a little bit of a…

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The Tray Spot

Written on:December 12, 2016

Friends S3:E10 – No, I don’t want no scrud, a scrud is a Brown Bird that can’t get no love from me, hanging out the passenger side of her older sister’s ride trying to sell cookies to me. Yo! What is new, my Friendsetters? Hope everyone is having a splendid holiday season. We’ve been on hiatus since the Monday prior to Thanksgiving, so there is much to catch up on….

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The Geller Cup

Written on:November 21, 2016

Friends S3:E9 – Well it’s Monday night, a new week has begun. I turn my TV on for some pigskin fun. Click over to that one network with ESP, the lamest game each week is their specialty. You know I gotta get ready, make everything right. ‘Cause all my rowdy friends are coming over tonight. So, are you ready? I mean, are you ready? Are you ready, ready? Are you…

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Thread the Needle

Written on:November 14, 2016

Friends S3:E8 – God, it was awful. Like many Americans, it was one of the most disturbing nights of my life. It just felt so violating. Not because conservatism was upsetting progressivism. As unfortunate as the political ramifications are, I’ve lived through tough election beats before. They hurt, for sure, but nothing like this. This was violating on a much deeper level. Because this election, at his core, had become…

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Mr. Big Shot

Written on:November 7, 2016

Friends S3:E7 – Okay, boys and girls. Here we are less than 24 hours away from Election Day in the United States of America. Today we will either be writing post number 53 in our 236 part Friends 20/20 blog series, or, if Donald Trump gets elected tomorrow, we will be writing post number 53 in our 53 part Oh Shit, Writing About a 20 Year Old Sitcom Doesn’t Matter…

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Don’t Say Anything

Written on:October 31, 2016

Friends S3:E6 – When black cats prowl and pumpkins gleam, may luck be yours on Halloween. Hey there, boys and girls. Happy Halloween to you and yours! How cool is it that the wickedest of wicked holidays is on a Monday this year? I’m super stoked that we get to spend a few minutes together on the scariest day of the year. If you guessed that your boy Kenny Adams…

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Ninja Stars

Written on:October 17, 2016

Friends S3:E5 – Happy Monday morning, Friends Crafters. Glad to be back together with you for the fifth consecutive week. I’m taking some initiative today by trying to get this post written and delivered to you before embarking on my four-hour outing to Top Golf (I think the technical term is lunch break). Indeed, today is one of those rare occasions where I woke up early with an extra skip…

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Amazing Discoveries

Written on:October 10, 2016

Friends S3:E4 – “There’s got to be a better way!” Turning to my Amazing Discoveries co-host, “Wow. That’s really profound and topical, Kevin. After watching that debate last night, I think you’re flingin’-flangin’ right.” Hey there, everybody. Have you caught your breath from witnessing Donald Trump’s attempt to drag the entire country through the mud last night? Speaking of amazing discoveries, Trump’s Access Hollywood video, tho. Now that’s what I…

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Hug and Roll

Written on:October 3, 2016

Friends S3:E3 – Howdy, gals and guys. How’s everyone doing today? Well, I’m a bit perplexed (thanks for asking). The reason? Here we are sharing in only our third post of the season but somehow we’ve already made it to October. Can you believe it? I know you’re thinking, “Surely this is some sort of mistake.” Maybe, let me double check. (Looking up at my calendar.) Nope, it’s definitely October…

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Drink the Fat

Written on:September 26, 2016

Friends S3:E2 – Howdy? How goes it out there for all of you on this beautiful autumn Monday, my fantastic Mercedes Friends? Personally, I have a lot of balls in the air today. For starters, today is a travel day for me as I will be catching the red-eye out to the West Coast (Portlandia to be exact). Secondly, tonight is the first Presidential Debate between Secretary Hillary Clinton and…

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Hold Me Close Young Tony Danza

Written on:September 19, 2016

Friends S3:E1 – But oh how it feels so real lying here with no one near. Only you and you can hear me when I say softly…(pause)…slowly…(wait for it)…hold me close young Tony Danza. Count the headlights on the highway. YO! YO! YO! How the heck are you, my BFGFF’s (Big Freindly Giant Friends Fans)? Can you believe it? After a long and relaxing summer break, we’re finally back for…

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Oh My God

Written on:May 16, 2016

Friends S2:E24 – Her name was Lola. She was a showgirl with yellow feathers in her hair and a dress cut down to there. She would merengue and do the cha-cha and while she tried to be a star, Tony always tended bar. Yo! What is the damn dee-lee-o, Friends Crafters? OH. MY. GOD. It’s hard to believe but the end is nigh for the second installment of Friends 20/20….

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Joseph the Processor Guy

Written on:May 9, 2016

Friends S2:E23 – What it do, Friendsinistas? Hope you’re doing well. We have been keeping mad busy here in the TLA bunker these past few weeks. As loyal readers, you’ve probably noticed that late Spring into early Fall is theLeftAhead’s busy season, so to speak. The reason for that is two of our Feature blog series (Black & Silver and Friends 20/20) start to overlap in late April when the…

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The Staging Area

Written on:May 2, 2016

Friends S2:E22 – Hola, damas y caballeros. ¿Qué hay de nuevo? Well, I’m back in beautiful Colorado. Strike that. I’m back in Colorado. When it’s May and we’re still getting winter storms that include snow flurries, there’s a few other adjectives I would use to describe my state of residence other than beautiful. But that’s neither here nor there. I’m glad to be back and rested as you and I…

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Let’s Take This Outside

Written on:April 25, 2016

Friends S2:E21 – Howdy, cowgirls and cowboys! Since this column is my first chance to write on the matter, let me begin by saying, RIP sweet prince. Now that that’s been said upfront (more on the subject later), greetings from Bluff City. That’s right, I’m in Memphis, Tennessee killing time this lovely Monday afternoon before I have to catch my flight back to Denver, Colorado later this evening. I’m currently…

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It’s the College Playoffs

Written on:April 4, 2016

Friends S2:E20 – Hey there, Mercedes Friends. How’s everyone doing this fine Monday afternoon? Let me say up front that I am having quite a hectic afternoon, myself, so today’s post just might make it into the running for shortest Friends 20/20 blog posts to date. No, don’t worry, everything is okay (you are so sweet for asking, though). I’m not in the middle of any kind of serious crisis….

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Oh Sweet Moses

Written on:March 28, 2016

Friends S2:E19 – Howdy, ladies and gents. Greetings and salutations to all on this fine Monday morning. I hope everyone had a hopping Easter weekend. (You see what I did there? Hopping, as in Easter Bunny.) Isn’t March Madness a great time of year? Besides college hoops, spring is in the air, flowers are blooming, and birds are chirping. On top of it all, amazingly enough, our time together is…

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Rock-paper-scissors

Written on:March 21, 2016

Friends S2:E18 – Jumpman, Jumpman, Jumpman, them boys up to something. They just spent like two or three weeks out the country. Them boys up to something, they just not just bluffing. We’ve been Spring Break chilling and hard to find, like woo. But now we’ve reemerged back on that Friends grind, like woo. And our squad just hit that Ginobilii on the Warriors hype, like woo. Ha, ha, yes!…

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Mr. Johnny New Eggs

Written on:February 22, 2016

Friends S2:E17 – What’s good, Friendsters? Welcome, welcome to another edition of theLeftAhead’s 236 part series Friends 20/20. We’re honored to have you and glad you could spare a few moments on this beautiful Monday to reminisce upon all of the hilarious hijinks of yet another episode of the GOAT sitcom. I can’t lie. As much progress as I’ve made this year at demonstrating my professionalism (as well as my…

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Can Open, Worms Everywhere

Written on:February 15, 2016

Friends S2:E16 – Aye, y’all heard about the good news? Y’all sleeping on me, huh? Had a good snooze? Wake up, Friendsters, wake up. We ’bout to get this paper. Aren’t you excited? Sure, it’s another Munday. But hey, at least there is new Kanye in the world. Granted, new Kanye that, in order to listen to it, you have to sign up for a 30 day free trial with…

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Australopithecus

Written on:February 8, 2016

Friends S2:E15 – And the Colorado Rocky Mountain high, I’ve seen it raining fire in the sky. You can talk to God and listen to the casual reply. Rocky Mountain high, Colorado. Rocky Mountain high? At this point, unfortunately, it’s more like Rocky Mountain Hangover, right Colorado? Nevertheless, how bout them Broncos? Congratulations are in order to all of the football fanatics currently residing in Broncos Country. What an impressive…

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You’re My Lobster

Written on:February 1, 2016

Friends S2:E14 – Howdy, cowgirls and cowboys. Long time, no see. (Considering that we last convened a short four days ago for the special Friends Super Bowl episode, let the record reflect that my previous statement was said in jest.) Regardless of proximity to our last encounter, it’s great to see all of you on this lovely Monday afternoon and let me also say Happy Iowa Caucus Day! If you’re…

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Get the Monkey Off Your Back

Written on:January 28, 2016

Friends S2:E12 & Friends S2:E13 – Hi there, girls and boys. Welcome to a special Thursday edition of Friends 20/20. You’re probably thinking that it’s rather unusual to be hearing from me on a day of the week other than Monday. After all, Friends episodes originally aired on NBC on Thursdays which means that 20 years later (after a few leap years), the day of the week that coincides with…

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Ball the Melon

Written on:January 18, 2016

Friends S2:E11 – Greetings, Friends Nation. Happy MLK Day! I hope everyone is enjoying an incredible three-day weekend. After mine started horribly (when I caught a bad case of food poisoning on Friday night), I’ve slowly been able to rally. I was out of commission for most of the past two days, but I had a tremendous time at my local MLK Day parade this morning and my afternoon is…

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Mendelevium

Written on:January 4, 2016

Friends S2:E10 – Good Monday, Friendsters and happy new year to each and every one of you. I hope everyone has shaken off the “returning to work” depression that probably set in last night after football ended (J-E-T-S…GO JETS!! Too soon?) and is having a productive first Monday of 2016. Personally, I’m happy to be back to work and I’m fired up to embark on another amazing year of writing…

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Hardball

Written on:December 14, 2015

Friends S2:E9 – Deck the blog because I’m a pop culture svengali, Fa la la la la la la la la, Tis the Season Two Christmas to be jolly, Fa la la la la la la la la. My goodness, it feels good to be back on the job this week. Welcome, welcome. I hope you’re as transfixed with the holiday spirit as I am this glorious Monday morning that,…

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Twelve Megabytes of Ram

Written on:November 16, 2015

Friends S2:E8 – Yo, what’s good my fellow Friendsologists? Happy Monday before the Monday before Thanksgiving! I’m tremendously excited that we are rapidly approaching the holiday season. After submitting the column today, I’ll be happily leaving the cozy confines of theLeftAhead offices to embark on a much needed cross-country vacation. After all, I have worked a whopping eight days so far this fall. With that type of workload, a month…

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Two Cats

Written on:November 9, 2015

Friends S2:E7 – Hey there, fellow humans. I hope this fine Monday evening finds you well. We have quite the Friends milestone to discuss this week. That’s right, you guessed it. Our long national nightmare is finally over. You can go ahead and mark it on the official score card. Ross and Rachel have finally kissed! Can you believe it? It only took 31 episodes (including one painfully long summer…

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From the Top

Written on:November 2, 2015

Friends S2:E6 – “There’ll be no strings to bind your hands, not if my love can’t bind your heart. And there’s no need to take a stand, for it was I who chose to start.” Is it just me, or have you also noticed that Angel of the Morning has been forever tattooed in your brain because of Friends. I find the song just randomly popping into my head, for…

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Killing Me Softly

Written on:October 19, 2015

Friends S2:E5 – Strumming my pain with his fingers (one time), singing my life with his words (two times). [I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking you want to complete that melody, aren’t you? It’s okay, you can keep going…] Ken Adams is killing me softly with his blog. Killing me softly with his blog. Telling my Friends life with his words, killing me softly with his blog. Thanks, valued…

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Nubbin

Written on:October 12, 2015

Friends S2:E4 – Howdy, ladies and gents. It’s that time again. That’s right. It’s the time in your week where I methodically give you a refresher on the inner workings of an episode of situational comedy that you first experienced twenty years ago. Every week I ask myself, “is this a necessary exercise?” I know the answer is most certainly no, yet you still flock here in droves week after…

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Crazy Snake Man

Written on:October 5, 2015

Friends S2:E3 – Hey there, Friendsters. Hope everyone’s week (and month, for that matter) is off to a fantastic start. As excited as I am to keep my streak of approaching this column with a positive attitude in tact, I must admit that I caught a case of The Mundays this morning. I rolled out of bed like, “Could today be any more Monday? Nevertheless, I fought through it and…

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Just Do It

Written on:September 28, 2015

Friends S2:E2 – Greetings, Pheobes and Pheobos. How is everyone doing this fine Monday evening? I’m having a splendid day if I do say so myself. (Thanks for asking.) As I reported last week, I’m no longer experiencing the dread of writing this column that had been an overwhelming burden for me last season. My new philosophy this year (for when there is a post to be written) is to…

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This Is Huge

Written on:September 21, 2015

Friends S2:E1 – Oh. My. God. It is such a thrill to be back for my second season blogging Friends for theLeftAhead. I’m back with renewed energy and a new attitude about the task at hand. Yep, gone are the negative disposition and lukewarm commitment of last season and here in their place are swimming pools full of Red Bull on the ready for serving an endless supply of energy…

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Start Looking

Written on:May 18, 2015

Friends S1:E24 – Buenas noches mis amigos y amigas. I hope everyone has had a spectacular Monday. I know it is somewhat bitter sweet for you to read this knowing that it is our final blog post of the season and our last opportunity to spend time together discussing Friends. But don’t fret. This is, after all, just a season finale and not a series finale. We will be back…

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You Forgot Your Legs

Written on:May 11, 2015

Friends S1:E23 – What’s golden, my friends of Friends? Can you guess why I am excited on this beautiful Monday afternoon? That’s right. You guessed it. Today we are reviewing the penultimate episode of Season One. And you know what that means, right? Exactly. Only one more week until I get a three month break from the cumbersome weekly grind of this project! Yes, yes, y’all. Summer is coming. Now,…

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Dream Score

Written on:May 4, 2015

Friends S1:E22 – Greetings to all of you fine ladies and gents out there throughout the Friendsosphere on this gloomy Monday afternoon. As you might have already imagined, the offices here at theLeftAhead are rather quiet today after the San Antonio Spurs lost a heartbreaking Game 7 111-109 to the Los Angeles Clippers on Saturday night to bow out in the first playoff series of their title defense. In fact,…

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Joseph Stalin is the Fiddler on the Roof

Written on:April 27, 2015

Friends S1:E21 – Hey there, all you friendly connoisseurs of Friends. How’s everyone doing this lovely Monday afternoon? I’m resplendent myself, thanks for asking. It is an exciting time here at theLeftAhead. Not only am I embarking on the stretch run of blog posts for Friends: Season One, but if you’ve been checking in on the site over the past week, you will have noticed that Ted James, our fearless…

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How a Bill Becomes a Law

Written on:April 6, 2015

Friends S1:E20 – From the depths of the sea, back to the block, your boy Kenny Adams is back on the clock, went solo on vacation but it’s still the same, theLeftAhead is the spot where I run blog game. Yes, indeedy. I’m back once again for the stretch run of Friends: Season One. How was everyone’s Spring Break? Mine was perfectly splendid, thanks for asking. So here’s the scuttlebutt…today’s…

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The Heating and Cooling Milieu

Written on:March 9, 2015

Friends S1:E19 – Hey there, everyone. How are you this fine Monday afternoon? I’m a little more chipper than usual today because once I finish this Friends post, I’ll be heading off on vacation for the better part of the next month. Where am I going? Well, that’s classified. But I can tell you where I’m not going and that is South by Southwest in Austin, TX. And since that…

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The Big Green Poker Machine

Written on:March 2, 2015

Friends S1:E18 – How’s it going, ladies and gents? Happy Monday. I hope everyone out there is ready for another exciting installment of the most unorthodox blog series about a major American television series in the history of the internet. While we don’t have a great deal of time today, I thought I would use what little time we have to speculate about whether or not love is in the…

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Under the Bridge

Written on:February 23, 2015

Friends S1:E16 & Friends S1:E17 – “Sometimes I feel like I don’t have a partner. Sometimes I feel like my only [Friends]” are the my friends from TV, the Rosses and Rachels. Lonely as I am, they stay by my side. Yo, yo, what it do, ladies and gents? Hope you enjoyed my nice little jingle, just now. For the record, I’m not currently lonely…I’m happily married but I do…

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Amuse-Bouche

Written on:February 16, 2015

Friends S1:E15 – President George Washington once said, “Happiness and moral duty are in separably connected.” With that in mind, I want to wish you a dutifully moral Presidents Day. How’s it going, gang? I hope you had a stellar week and a spectacular Valentine’s Day weekend. Mine were quite lovely (thanks for asking) but I cannot tell a lie: with the massive amount of snow dropping from the sky…

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The Man’s Got An Egg

Written on:February 9, 2015

Friends S1:E14 – “Guess who’s back? Back again.” Kenny’s back. Tell your Friends. What’s cracking, boys and girls? (Egg. Cracking. Get it? Ha.) Fresh off of a short hiatus, yes (indeed) we’re back at it again with a hot take on another twenty year old episode of your favorite sitcom. Thanks for choosing to give us a few minutes of your time. Glad to be with you again. Today’s assignment…

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When the Laughter Stops

Written on:January 19, 2015

Friends S1:E13 – Happy MLK Day, engaged citizens of the internet! I know that all of us have chosen to occupy a large portion of our day doing something constructive to honor the legacy of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. However, even on a day of reflection, everyone needs to sprinkle in a little downtime, so thank you for choosing to spend a few minutes of yours with me. In…

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Poconos

Written on:January 12, 2015

Friends S1:E12 – Howdy, boys and girls. Welcome back for another installment of your favorite Friends blogger’s favorite Friends blog series. I hope you have been enjoying binge-watching the show on Netflix. It has been available via the streaming service for twelve days now which means that many of you might have already sprinted through more than half of the series. A few of you, with too much free time…

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Teams Played Sports

Written on:January 5, 2015

Friends S1:E11 – Hello there friends of Friends! I want to wish every single reader out there a happy New Year! As you might have suspected, I was very happy to chunk deuces at 2014. It was a pretty rough year. I spent the first nine months of the year as an unemployed writer and then when I finally got hired as the pop culture writer for theLeftAhead (my big…

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Scientist Guy

Written on:December 15, 2014

Friends S1:E10 – Hey there, Friends Nation. Did you miss me? I hope that your time off from reading this blog series has been as restful and relaxing as my time off from writing it. I can’t lie, it was quite a relief last month to have finally arrived at the first break from consecutive episodes of the series. While I’ve really enjoyed these past four weeks off, I must…

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Shoop

Written on:November 17, 2014

Friends S1:E9 – “Here I go, here I go, here I go again. What’s my weakness?” Snow…apparently. Let me explain. So I had driven up to Vail, Colorado this past Friday to do some research for this week’s blog post. My plan was to spend one night up in the mountains, finish my research on Saturday morning, and leave Saturday afternoon to drive down to Denver in time for a…

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Buried at Sea

Written on:November 10, 2014

Friends S1:E8 – Hey there, girls and boys. I’m glad to have you back this week for another installment of my Friends blog series. It is really encouraging to see so many of you out there are already religiously reading the greatest experiment in pop culture since Saved By the Bell: The College Years. (Although it is a little less encouraging to find out that only about one-third of you…

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Blackout

Written on:November 3, 2014

Friends S1:E7 – Remember the nineties? Awe, the nineties. A time when a group of six single early-twenty somethings could live in New York City in nice apartments and survive on the income they generated from entry-level professional jobs without needing any support from their parents. Yep. Those were crazy times. The lifestyle that the Friends gang enjoyed seems like such a foreign concept for this generation’s young adults, but…

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Freud!

Written on:October 27, 2014

Friends S1:E6 – “Say hello to my little friend.” And that little friend is entirely Id, right Sigmund Freud? Apparently, mine is as impulsive as Tony Montana’s because in a fit of rage, I devoted almost my entire post last week to seeking the “immediate pleasure and gratification” of trashing on my boss. The good news is, as I predicted, Ted James (too busy trying to be a 36 year…

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Moose and Squirrel

Written on:October 20, 2014

Friends S1:E5 – Well, that’s what I get for tempting fate. On only the fourth post of my illustrious blogging career, I was reprimanded by my editor, Ted James, for dancing on the line of acceptable conduct and then proceeding to cross my toe over it whilst baiting him to call me out. I’m not sure if it was the direct reference to the Bill Simmons situation or my contemptuous…

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Magic Beans

Written on:October 13, 2014

Friends S1:E4 – Hey there boys and girls, it’s your favorite gainfully employed writer, Kenny Adams back at your service for another installment of your favorite blogger’s favorite blog series. I hope that you had a good week and I’m really glad that you remembered to find a couple of minutes to squeeze me in to your busy schedule today because I’ve got quite a pita pocket of entertainment bliss…

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The Millners’ Farm in Connecticut

Written on:October 6, 2014

Friends S1:E3 – What’s good, Friends fans? It’s your boy, Ken Adams back again for this week’s installment of my blog series. I’m back for the third week in a row to serve you some fresh takes on a 20 year old pop culture phenomenon that is near and dear to our hearts. My Friends revival is already taking the interwebs by storm. Indeed, boys and girls, you have stumbled…

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Helen Geller

Written on:September 29, 2014

Friends S1:E2 – Greetings, loyal TLA readers. You might be surprised to see me back, as promised, for the second installment of my Friends blog series. I’m sure some of you assumed that my commitment to write 236 blog posts about the hit television series, a post for every episode on the 20th anniversary of its air date, was just some empty cockeyed declaration that I made in order to…

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