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Written on:October 21, 2019
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Friends S6:E5 – What’s good, Friendsters? Since this is our last convening in the month of October, let me start off by saying, Happy Halloween 🎃👻🎃👻🎃 Does everyone already know what they’re dressing up as next Thursday? I sure do. I’m going to dress up as my boss, Ted James. My costume will be a ghost because that’s exactly what theLeftAhead editor-in-chief has been this fall while he’s allegedly been on sabbatical recording music. I’ve gotta say, it’s been pretty spooky around here without the boss man constantly hovering over my desk reminding me of my deadlines. On second thought, what am I even doing here at the office? I can write and post my column from home and it’s not like there’s anyone here monitoring my attendance. In fact, maybe I’ll go home to finish today’s post and maybe I’ll work from home the rest of the month. Or maybe I’ll just stop typing. Or maybe I’ll just stop typing “stop typing,” shift into MAIL IN SPECIAL mode, finish this post here at the office, and then take the rest of October off. But I digress. Wait, what were we even talking about? Oh yeah, Halloween. I bet I know what Joey Tribbiani is going as for Halloween. What could that be? A guy who own a Porsche, of course. I mean, he’s got to wear all of that Porsche gear that’s collecting dust in his closet at some point, right?

Any who, so what else is going on? Well, I’m glad you asked. Did you hear that Jennifer Aniston broke the internet when she joined Instagram on Tuesday and posted this FRIENDS reunion photo. Jennifer (or Jen as her IG profile suggests her friends call her and being one, what I call her 😉) set a Guinness world record for fastest to reach a million followers (five hours and sixteen minutes) with her thunderous entrance into the social media sphere. While there’s no question that Jen joining IG was a calculated, a savvy PR move designed to promote her upcoming Apple TV+ television series, The Morning Show, you would be hard pressed to find anyone who could be mad at the move, especially since she launched her account with such a fun, nostalgic selfie of her and her FRIENDS castmates. Alrighty then, since I’ve dutifully brought you up to speed on who owns Instagram this week, I think I’ve done my due diligence on putting together a M.I.S. So like Ted James (or my Halloween costume), it’s time for me to wrap this up and ghost theLeftAhead office. That’s right, y’all. Pretend this blog post is a game of Trick or Treat and it’s my turn and I chose Trick and now I’m going to disappear. Happy Halloween. Boo.

Recap in the Key of Phoebe – This is the one where Ross deals with the blow back of Rachel finding out that they’re still married, Joey finds the keys to a Porsche at Central Perk and then pretends to be the Porsche’s owner when he starts receiving attention from the ladies for hanging around the car, Phoebe recruits Monica and Chandler to help her babysit Frank and Alice’s triplets, Chandler goes to the hospital after accidentally swallowing the sonic blaster gun of Krog (a non-age-appropriate toy) while babysitting the triplets, Monica fights off the temptation to freak out about the mess Phoebe made in her apartment while getting triple-teamed by the babies, Rachel tells the judge that Ross is gay, drug addicted, and incapable of consummating their marriage during their annulment hearing, and Ross loses in the very same annulment hearing when the stenographer won’t stop typing, “stop typing.”

Gandalf Gaffes – None. Flawless episode!

Chan Man Quip of the Week – [The Setup] Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler are at Monica’s and soon-to-be Chandler’s apartment. Phoebe and Monica are watching the triplets and Chandler is making throat noises from the sonic blaster gun swallowing incident. Joey walks in decked out from head to toe in Porsche gear. Without saying hello, Joey informs his pals, “So the Porsche guy took his car back.” Immediately perplexed by Joey’s outfit, Chandler sarcastically asks, “But you found the keys to his clothes?” Joey answer, “No. No, I just uh, I just loved the way it feels when everybody thinks I own a Porsche.” A little hesitant to wade too deeply into the inner workings of Joey’s twisted logic but as the same time, understandably curios, Monica reluctantly probes, “And people will think you own a Porsche because you’re wearing the clothes?” Happy to explain himself, Joey responds, “Of course! Only an idiot would wear this stuff if you didn’t have the car! Right?” [The Knockout] With all the swiftness and precision of the black belt quip artists that he is, Chandler delivers a blow that simultaneously strikes Joey directly in his heart whilst also cruising magnificently right over his head by agreeing, “That is true.”

#TheChickAndTheDuck


Featured Image Source: Rebel Walls

Headline Image Source: Independent


Fake Accent University

Written on:October 14, 2019

Friends S6:E4 – Good evening, Friendinistas. Happy Indigenous Peoples’ Day. I hope Week 143 of The Resistance finds you well. It should. We are finally (FINALLY) starting to see cracks in the shameful “political self-preservation over country” congressional Republican wall protecting President Trump. With today’s damning testimony by former White House advisor on Russia and Europe Fiona Hill in the impeachment inquiry coupled with the near universal backlash to our…

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Naked Thursdays

Written on:October 7, 2019

Friends S6:E3 – Wanted. Female roommate. Non-smoker. Non-ugly. What it do, Friendsters? Do you know anyone who needs a place? Just kidding. Your humble servant Kenny A. doesn’t actually need a roommate. And even if I did, this would be a terrible time to interview prospects since I’m just getting over a vicious cold (there’s probably still lots and lots of wicked germs at my place). Speaking of the cold…

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The End of an Era

Written on:September 30, 2019

Friends S6:E2 – Hey there, Mercedes Friends! What is the damn dealy-o? Hope everyone is having a fantastic Monday. Hopefully a better Monday than me, at least. I’m sorry to report that I’ve come down with a cold and I’m feeling about ten underground stories under the weather. So in case you were wondering, I’m writing today’s post from bed. I mean, I figure my boss is on sabbatical and…

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Frenaissance

Written on:September 23, 2019

Friends S6:E1 – Yo!!! What is up, Friends Nation? Can you believe it? We’re finally back together once again to embark on our sixth trip around the sun together. I’m feeling relaxed and refreshed from yet another summer break spent on the beaches of my infamous, secret “undisclosed location” tropical island. Having literally just returned home from said location yesterday, I was pleasantly surprised to arrive back at theLeftAhead offices…

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Identical Hand Twins

Written on:May 20, 2019

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Written on:May 13, 2019

Friends S5:E22 – Howdy, Friendsters. Welcome, welcome, welcome, to the last stop before the halfway point of this wacky train ride we call Friends 20/20. That’s right, travel enthusiasts. The countdown clock to Summer Vacation 2019 has hit the one week mark and we have successful rounded first and are now sliding into second on the base path for this entire damn project! I can’t lie. Being as how this…

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Team Monica

Written on:May 6, 2019

Friends S5:E21 – Yo, yo, ma Friends. How’s everyone doing on this, the first Monday in May? Hopefully no one in the class is fighting off any repercussions from an overly festive Cinco De Mayo yesterday. (Since everyone else is sharp and focused, that probably means I’m speaking to you, Johnny. Take off those shades in my classroom. Never mind, put them back on. You look absolutely wrecked. Haven’t you…

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Written on:April 29, 2019

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Order and Law

Written on:April 22, 2019

#TheChickAndTheDuck Chan Man Quip of the Week – [The Knockout] Chandler pauses and not having anything to lose with Joey’s non-English speaking Grandmother, drops the hammer with, “So, you’re old and small.” [The Setup] The gang is hanging out at Monica and Rachel’s apartment watching the episode of Law & Order that Joey is supposed to make an appearance in playing a criminal with his biggest fan (his grandmother who…

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Mmm, Noodle Soup

Written on:April 8, 2019

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Hot Girl Parallel Universe

Written on:March 18, 2019

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Pivot!

Written on:February 25, 2019

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My Best Friend and My Sister

Written on:February 18, 2019

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They Don’t Know That We Know That They Know

Written on:February 11, 2019

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We Will Meet at the Checkout Counter

Written on:February 4, 2019

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Mr. Bigot

Written on:January 21, 2019

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I’m Gonna Go Do My Laundry

Written on:January 7, 2019

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Fireball

Written on:December 17, 2018

Friends S5:E10 – Howdy, Friendsters. Welcome, welcome, welcome to our last post of 2018! So, I’ve had a frustrating day. Being as it’s eight days until Christmas, I decided to brave the insanity and go to the post office to send all of the Christmas gifts that I needed to send to my extended family. The line to mail packages was literally out of the post office door and I…

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My Sandwich

Written on:December 10, 2018

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More Turkey, Mr. Chandler?

Written on:November 19, 2018

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See You Ladle

Written on:November 12, 2018

Friends S5:E7 – Your best friend Harry has a brother Larry. In five days from now he’s going to marry. He’s hoping you can make it there if you can ’cause in the ceremony you’ll be the best man. What it do, Friendsters? Let me start out by congratulating the American people for voting to bust a move on putting checks and balances in place for an administration run amok….

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It’s What Grown-Ups Do

Written on:November 5, 2018

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Me Too

Written on:October 29, 2018

Friends S5:E5 – Trick or Phoebe, smell my Phoebe, give me something Phoebe to eat. If you Phoebe, I don’t Phoebe, I’ll Phoebe down your underwear! What. Is. Good, Mercedes Friends? Welcome to our fifth annual Halloween Post-Extravaganza! 🎃 (I realize that my use of the comma there means a) I could be writing a Halloween extravaganza blog post or b) we could be celebrating Halloween after having an extravaganza.)…

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A Selfless Good Dead

Written on:October 15, 2018

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Kidney Stones

Written on:October 8, 2018

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What About Gunther?

Written on:October 1, 2018

Friends S5:E2 – It has been four long, hard years since she first walked into my life. Sure, when that happened she was a hot mess – drenched and wearing a wedding dress that she clearly didn’t need to be wearing. Everyone else here in the coffee shop probably thought she looked crazy. But not me. I didn’t care. She was an angel, the most beautiful woman I had ever…

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Bad London

Written on:September 24, 2018

Friends S5:E1 – And….we’re back. Is it just me or did that feel like a really long break? Don’t get me wrong, it was a much needed, well received really long break. But (that one time) when we graduated from Friends 20/20 University with our Bachelors degrees and then said our “so longs” for the summer…ya know, (that one time) back in early May…yeah, that feels like so, so long…

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London, Baby

Written on:May 7, 2018

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The Dinosaur Dudes

Written on:April 30, 2018

Friends S4:E22 – Greetings, Friendinistas. I hope Week 67 of The Resistance finds you well. I think it’s important to remember, as we fight day in and day out to keep the dark cloud of tyranny from snuffing out the light of our democratic institutions, just how slippery a slope to authoritarianism our current predicament possibly could be. This week, pop culture provided us a stark reminder. (Because I know…

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We’re Gonna Climb Mount Everest

Written on:April 23, 2018

Friends S4:E21 – Hey there, Friendsters. How’s everyone doing on this pleasant Monday afternoon? I’m happy to report that since last week’s editor-approved mail-in-special, Ted James has gotten back on top of the 2018-edition of his Black & Silver blog series and thankfully does not need my assistance today in finishing his post covering yesterday’s heart-warming San Antonio Spurs Game 4 victory. That means, girls and boys, that once again…

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On-Again, Off-Again

Written on:April 16, 2018

Friends S4:E20 – Hey friendlies, the most amazing thing happened to me earlier on this fine Monday morning. My editor Ted James gave me…actually, let me back up and start at the beginning. Okay, here it goes. On a whim, I stopped and picked up coffee and donuts on my way into theLeftAhead office. Normally, Mr. James barely notices when food is brought into the office but today, for some…

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Phoebeball

Written on:April 9, 2018

Friends S4:E19 – Morning’s here! Sunshine is here! The sky is clear, the morning’s here! The morning’s here!. How’s it going this fine Monday morning, Friendsters? I’m happy to announce that (including today) there are only five episodes remaining in this, our fourth installment of Friends 20/20. Man, that summer vacation cannot get here soon enough. Thanks to the nice weather we have on tap this week Denver (with a…

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Chanoey

Written on:April 2, 2018

Friends S4:E18 – What is good, Nation of Friends? Good to be back with you this week for another time machine dissection of an episode of the GOAT sitcom that’s been 20 years in the making. I think I’m fully recovered now from coming down with an alien abduction two weeks ago (thanks for asking) and, since you, the devoted fans, know me as well as you do, you know…

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I’ve Finally Got My Band

Written on:March 26, 2018

Friends S4:E17 – Knock, knock. Who’s there? PORN!. What’s happening, Mercedes Friends? The strangest thing happened to me last week. I went to bed last Sunday night and the next thing I remember, I was waking up and it was Tuesday morning. I panicked, thinking I had slept for over 24 hours straight and had missed the deadline for Friends S4:E16. (And you can imagine how awful I felt about…

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Bon Voyage

Written on:March 19, 2018

Friends S4:E16 – [Begin Transmission] [Alien Voice] Greetings, Earth Friendlies. This is Zooperkroll, Supreme Leader of the Infini. My species is from the planet Visonia. Visonia is located 37 trillion miles away from Earth in the Milky Way’s Norf system. I am writing to inform you that we have abducted your Friends 20/20 blogger, Ken Adams, and are currently conducting experiments on him in outer space. Because of this prior…

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Red Ross

Written on:February 26, 2018

Friends S4:E15 – Howdy, FRIENDS NATION. How is everyone feeling this fine Monday evening? To put it another way… what’s good with it? A lot has happened since our last convening. Sadly, right in the middle of our break (and on Valentine’s Day, of all days) there was another school shooting. My heart goes out the families and friends of the victims. That being said, it is maddening to me…

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Glow Pop Jiggly Jam

Written on:February 5, 2018

Friends S4:E14 – What is good, Friendsters? Philly friends, how you living today? What’s that? Oh snap. E-A-G-L-E-S Eagles! Fly Eagles fly! Woot woot! Yas, yas, YAS. Congratulations are in order to all of my Philly peeps out there in Friends 20/20 land. It’s been a long time coming. You really, really deserve this…so enjoy it. I’d say do it big just don’t tear down your own city but checking…

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Hot and Heavy

Written on:January 29, 2018

Friends S4:E13 – You say you want a piece of me? Well Baby, take a big bite.. Oh, hey. Sorry, I didn’t see you come in, girls and boys. I was, umm…yeah. I was just singing a little Pantera which is kind of weird because I don’t really listen to Pantera. (It’s almost as if I have an ulterior motive for singing 80’s glam medal ?) Anywho…how’s it going this…

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That’s Not Even a Word

Written on:January 15, 2018

Friends S4:E12 – Happy and hopeful MLK Day, Friendinistas! I hope Week 52 of The Resistance finds you well. While it’s been a tough year in many ways, our efforts to speak truth to power have yielded some incredible victories and our defense of democracy in the face of the onslaught against it has held true so far. I often joke in this column about only working one day a…

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Erotiery

Written on:January 8, 2018

Friends S4:E11 – Happy New Year, Mercedes Friends! I hope 2018 has been good to you all thus far. I can’t believe we’re already eight days into our fifth calendar year together. This first week of the twentieth anniversary of 1998 flew by. On the other hand, I can’t believe that we’re only eight days into 2018 and I’m already back to work. It kind of feels like we got…

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Christmas Will Be Snowy

Written on:December 18, 2017

Friends S4:E10 – ‘Tis the season, Budolph the Friend-nosed Reindeers! How is everyone doing this fine December Monday? If you haven’t noticed, I’m in quite the festive mood. Not only ’tis it the season, ’tis also our last convening in the Year Of Our Lord 2017. And what a crazy, whirlwind year it’s been. We’ve organized a Friendinistas resistance to the presidency of Donald J. Trump, fought our way through…

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Gandalf the Wizard

Written on:December 11, 2017

Friends S4:E9 – “Okay, Chandler. See you tomorrow.” Mike hung up the phone and headed from his courtside seat into the United Center tunnel thinking to himself, “What a dominating win by my Bulls over our arch-rival Knicks. Isn’t it ironic (don’t you think) that I have an early morning flight to New York tomorrow to party with my college bros. After all, they are Knicks fans. I’ll have to…

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Va Fa Napoli

Written on:November 20, 2017

Friends S4:E8 – Happy Thanksgiving Eve Eve Eve, girls and boys. Everybody settle down. I know we’re all anxious to get on to our holiday weekend and our two-week break from class, but we’ve got some important business to attend to prior to shifting into turkey-mode. As you all know, I have your Halloween “Which FRIEND R U?” video assignments graded and (drum roll please) every single last one of…

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Wordless Sound Poems

Written on:November 13, 2017

Friends S4:E7 – What? Does? It? Do, Friendsters? I hope everybody has had a great couple of weeks. As you likely noticed last week, I decided to devote this section of Hard-ass and Wuss to a little fan fiction of the short story variety. That being the case, I deprived myself of the opportunity to check in with you guys a week ago. I suspect you weren’t too upset since…

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Hard-ass and Wuss

Written on:November 6, 2017

Friends S4:E6 – Hard-ass had never faced such a perilous predicament. She had just returned home after a seemingly successful catering evert only to open up her email and click on a video from the customer, Dr. Shake, that revealed he had captured her catering partner, Wuss. Not only was Dr. Shake refusing to pay for the catering services rendered for his oldest daughter’s wedding but his video informed Hard-ass…

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I’m Gonna Head

Written on:October 30, 2017

Friends S4:E5 – Trick or treat, smell my feet, give me something good to eat. Happy Halloween Eve, girls and boys! How’s everybody doing on this fine Monday morning? How am I doing? Well, golly gee…thanks for asking. Personally, I’m a little sleepy after staying up late to watch an all-time classic roller coaster of a World Series game last night. And, I’m sure you can guess that (as a…

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I Wanna Quit the Gym

Written on:October 16, 2017

Friends S4:E4 – Happy Monday, Friendsters! Hope everyone had a more relaxing weekend than me. Since (if you’ve read this blog series for any amount of time) you know that I really enjoy my down time, you can probably guess how annoyed I was when Ted James (Editor-in-chief of the blog, in other words…my boss) called theLeftAhead’s entire staff into a weekend-long strategy meeting here at our central offices in…

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Pulling a Monica

Written on:October 9, 2017

Friends S4:E3 – What it do, Friendinistas. I hope Week 38 of The Resistance finds you well. Leading our efforts this week is a progressive lion who doubles as Secretary of State, Rex Tillerson. In a hardcore resistance move straight out of the Che Guevara playbook, Tillerson called President Trump a “moron” or “f*cking moron” depending on which “fake news” source you want to believe. Despite attempts on the right…

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Lipper From Chipper

Written on:October 2, 2017

Friends S4:E2 – Hey there, Friends fam. Sorry for the melancholy greeting but it really can’t be helped. Waking up this morning to the news of another deadliest mass shooting in modern U.S. history was so gut-wrenching and awful. In fact, much like Phoebe in the Headline Image we’ve used for today’s post, all I wanted to do this morning was put my head down and pet one of my…

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Fine By Me

Written on:September 25, 2017

Friends S4:E1 – Guess who’s back? Back again. Kenny’s back. Tell your FRIENDS. And it feels so good to be back. Greetings, welcome, and great to see you, Mercedes-Friends Nation! Man, it feels like we’ve been gone for a long time. In fact, the last time we got together was quite literally one hundred President Trump controversies ago. So, politics aside, how was your summer? As you might have suspected,…

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Best Friends Forever

Written on:May 15, 2017

Friends S3:E25 – I’m so excited, and I just can’t hide it. Yo… what is good, Mercedes-Friends. Welcome, welcome, welcome to the Season 3 Finale of Friends 20/20. Considering that these posts are generally three to seven minute reads, you are mere minutes away from our summer vacation. As I mentioned last week, I’m going off the grid somewhere tropical as soon as I hand this column off to my…

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You’re In Sample

Written on:May 8, 2017

Friends S3:E24 – What’s good, Friendlies? Happy Monday to you. Welcome to the penultimate post of Friends 20/20, Season 3. Typing those words is music to my fingers. I won’t lie, I am readier than ready for summer vacation. In about one week and four hours from now I will be touching down somewhere tropical and dropping off of the grid faster than AT&T cellular service in a building with…

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What’s a Koondis With You?

Written on:May 1, 2017

Friends S3:E23 – Hey there, Friendinistas. What’s a koondis with you? Welcome to Week 15 of the resistance. I hope this message finds you well. Our feckless would-be Supreme Leader just celebrated the completion of his first 100 days in office by holding a 2016 campaign rally in Harrisburg, VA at the exact same time he should have been in the audience at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner listening to…

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Idiot!

Written on:April 24, 2017

Friends S3:E22 – Okay, okay, everyone settle down and take your seats. Look, I know you’re all all very anxious to get your grades back on the homework assignment but we’re going to do that at the end of class. Come on…I wasn’t born yesterday. First, we’ll do today’s lesson. Then, you get your papers back. If we do it the other way around, many of you will be so…

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The Chick and The Duck

Written on:April 17, 2017

Friends S3:E21 – Welcome back, girls and boys. I hope everyone enjoyed our week off and more importantly, I hope everyone took that extra time to really apply yourselves to putting forward your best effort on the homework assignment. Go ahead and pass your papers to the front, class. Let’s see what we have here. That means you too, Johnny. No more monkey business. Just because you’re sitting in the…

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The House of No Imagination

Written on:April 3, 2017

Friends S3:E20 – Good day, gals and guys. How’s everyone living out there on this beautiful afternoon? Holy moly, I hope the weather is as nice where you are as it is here (in my undisclosed location). Don’t you just love Spring? Where is my undisclosed location? Let’s just say I’m on the road again and on assignment for a super secret surprise project. Therefore, (you know what’s coming next)…

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Relax

Written on:March 27, 2017

Friends S3:E19 – Oh mommy, oh daddy, I am a big old baddie! Oh mommy, oh daddy, I am a big old baddie!. Nation of Friends: What. Is. Up? Happy Monday! And what a Monday it is. The Affordable Care Act aka Obamacare is still the law of the land, I finally got to watch Rogue One (excellent) over the weekend after having had the misfortune of squandering multiple chances…

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It’s a Real Mustard-tastrophe

Written on:March 13, 2017

Friends S3:E18 – What’s good, Friendsters? Hope everyone had a fantastic weekend. My weekend? It was up and down, thanks for asking. What caused the up and down? Wow, you all are inquisitive today. Well, since you ask, I’ll bite. So, first the down. I woke up Saturday morning in debilitating pain from a pinched nerve in my lower back. It was awful. Shortly after waking up, I realized that…

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Beam Me Up, Jesus

Written on:March 6, 2017

Friends S3:E17 – Howdy, Mercedes-Friends! How’s everyone doing this lovely Monday afternoon? I’m feeling nice and rested after our one-week hiatus. It was greatly needed too considering the brutal two-week Ross and Rachel break up sequence we were forced to endure prior to the break. In fact, I’m feeling so rested that (surprise, surprise) I have every intention to completely mail in this week’s installment. Before you complain, let me…

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We Were on a Break

Written on:February 20, 2017

Friends S3:E16 – Okay, here we go. Yes, boys and girls, the second part of our torturous journey through Friends emotional hell is somehow already upon us. Has it really already been a week? Time flies, I guess, when you’re dreading having to write a gut wrenching blog post. Since we have no choice but to dive right back into the belly of the beast, I will spare you any…

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Let’s Take a Break

Written on:February 13, 2017

Friends S3:E15 – This really sucks. I won’t lie, I’ve been dreading the moment that is now upon us since the beginning of the year. I mean, situational comedy is meant to be a lighthearted escape from the grind of daily life. It is not supposed to be this heavy, this heartbreaking. Or maybe the fact that it is, in this case, is part of the genius of Friends? I’m…

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Jurassic Parka

Written on:February 6, 2017

Friends S3:E14 – Welcome, students. Please take your seats. Okay, now that everyone is seated, pop quiz, hot shot. Actually, not a pop quiz (I just wanted to reference Dennis Hopper from Speed). Since we’re keeping it one hundred, you’re right…I did warn you about a test last week. So it should come as no surprise that I’m asking you to answer the following question: What is a Kiryot Moriah?…

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Kobayashi Maru

Written on:January 30, 2017

Friends S3:E13 – Greetings, Friendinistas. I hope that day eleven of the resistance finds you well. Let’s start with the good news. On the bright side, we’re still here and, as of today, we’re still free to congregate on these here interwebs to discuss the world’s greatest sitcom. Somebody mark the tape. As soon as I finish writing this post and hit “publish” later this evening, Friends 20/20 will have…

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The Empty Vase

Written on:January 16, 2017

Friends S3:E12 – Hiya. How are all of my incredible friends doing today on this our final convening of the Obama presidency? Happy MLK Day to all! In what is rapidly becoming an annual tradition for the Friends 20/20 blog series, I intend to keep today’s festivities short and sweet out of respect for those things that are desperately more important than sitcoms and pop culture. I’m sure many of…

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Run and Hide

Written on:January 9, 2017

Friends S3:E11 – Hey there, Friendsters! Happy New Year! I hope everybody out there had a magical holiday season and is off to a fantastic start with keeping your new year’s resolutions in tact as we start the second week of 2017. Nine days in and I’m still pitching a perfect game with all of my personal resolutions. Thanks for asking. Professionally, we’re off to a little bit of a…

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The Tray Spot

Written on:December 12, 2016

Friends S3:E10 – No, I don’t want no scrud, a scrud is a Brown Bird that can’t get no love from me, hanging out the passenger side of her older sister’s ride trying to sell cookies to me. Yo! What is new, my Friendsetters? Hope everyone is having a splendid holiday season. We’ve been on hiatus since the Monday prior to Thanksgiving, so there is much to catch up on….

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The Geller Cup

Written on:November 21, 2016

Friends S3:E9 – Well it’s Monday night, a new week has begun. I turn my TV on for some pigskin fun. Click over to that one network with ESP, the lamest game each week is their specialty. You know I gotta get ready, make everything right. ‘Cause all my rowdy friends are coming over tonight. So, are you ready? I mean, are you ready? Are you ready, ready? Are you…

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Thread the Needle

Written on:November 14, 2016

Friends S3:E8 – God, it was awful. Like many Americans, it was one of the most disturbing nights of my life. It just felt so violating. Not because conservatism was upsetting progressivism. As unfortunate as the political ramifications are, I’ve lived through tough election beats before. They hurt, for sure, but nothing like this. This was violating on a much deeper level. Because this election, at his core, had become…

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Mr. Big Shot

Written on:November 7, 2016

Friends S3:E7 – Okay, boys and girls. Here we are less than 24 hours away from Election Day in the United States of America. Today we will either be writing post number 53 in our 236 part Friends 20/20 blog series, or, if Donald Trump gets elected tomorrow, we will be writing post number 53 in our 53 part Oh Shit, Writing About a 20 Year Old Sitcom Doesn’t Matter…

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Don’t Say Anything

Written on:October 31, 2016

Friends S3:E6 – When black cats prowl and pumpkins gleam, may luck be yours on Halloween. Hey there, boys and girls. Happy Halloween to you and yours! How cool is it that the wickedest of wicked holidays is on a Monday this year? I’m super stoked that we get to spend a few minutes together on the scariest day of the year. If you guessed that your boy Kenny Adams…

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Ninja Stars

Written on:October 17, 2016

Friends S3:E5 – Happy Monday morning, Friends Crafters. Glad to be back together with you for the fifth consecutive week. I’m taking some initiative today by trying to get this post written and delivered to you before embarking on my four-hour outing to Top Golf (I think the technical term is lunch break). Indeed, today is one of those rare occasions where I woke up early with an extra skip…

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Amazing Discoveries

Written on:October 10, 2016

Friends S3:E4 – “There’s got to be a better way!” Turning to my Amazing Discoveries co-host, “Wow. That’s really profound and topical, Kevin. After watching that debate last night, I think you’re flingin’-flangin’ right.” Hey there, everybody. Have you caught your breath from witnessing Donald Trump’s attempt to drag the entire country through the mud last night? Speaking of amazing discoveries, Trump’s Access Hollywood video, tho. Now that’s what I…

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Hug and Roll

Written on:October 3, 2016

Friends S3:E3 – Howdy, gals and guys. How’s everyone doing today? Well, I’m a bit perplexed (thanks for asking). The reason? Here we are sharing in only our third post of the season but somehow we’ve already made it to October. Can you believe it? I know you’re thinking, “Surely this is some sort of mistake.” Maybe, let me double check. (Looking up at my calendar.) Nope, it’s definitely October…

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Drink the Fat

Written on:September 26, 2016

Friends S3:E2 – Howdy? How goes it out there for all of you on this beautiful autumn Monday, my fantastic Mercedes Friends? Personally, I have a lot of balls in the air today. For starters, today is a travel day for me as I will be catching the red-eye out to the West Coast (Portlandia to be exact). Secondly, tonight is the first Presidential Debate between Secretary Hillary Clinton and…

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Hold Me Close Young Tony Danza

Written on:September 19, 2016

Friends S3:E1 – But oh how it feels so real lying here with no one near. Only you and you can hear me when I say softly…(pause)…slowly…(wait for it)…hold me close young Tony Danza. Count the headlights on the highway. YO! YO! YO! How the heck are you, my BFGFF’s (Big Freindly Giant Friends Fans)? Can you believe it? After a long and relaxing summer break, we’re finally back for…

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Oh My God

Written on:May 16, 2016

Friends S2:E24 – Her name was Lola. She was a showgirl with yellow feathers in her hair and a dress cut down to there. She would merengue and do the cha-cha and while she tried to be a star, Tony always tended bar. Yo! What is the damn dee-lee-o, Friends Crafters? OH. MY. GOD. It’s hard to believe but the end is nigh for the second installment of Friends 20/20….

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Joseph the Processor Guy

Written on:May 9, 2016

Friends S2:E23 – What it do, Friendsinistas? Hope you’re doing well. We have been keeping mad busy here in the TLA bunker these past few weeks. As loyal readers, you’ve probably noticed that late Spring into early Fall is theLeftAhead’s busy season, so to speak. The reason for that is two of our Feature blog series (Black & Silver and Friends 20/20) start to overlap in late April when the…

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The Staging Area

Written on:May 2, 2016

Friends S2:E22 – Hola, damas y caballeros. ¿Qué hay de nuevo? Well, I’m back in beautiful Colorado. Strike that. I’m back in Colorado. When it’s May and we’re still getting winter storms that include snow flurries, there’s a few other adjectives I would use to describe my state of residence other than beautiful. But that’s neither here nor there. I’m glad to be back and rested as you and I…

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Let’s Take This Outside

Written on:April 25, 2016

Friends S2:E21 – Howdy, cowgirls and cowboys! Since this column is my first chance to write on the matter, let me begin by saying, RIP sweet prince. Now that that’s been said upfront (more on the subject later), greetings from Bluff City. That’s right, I’m in Memphis, Tennessee killing time this lovely Monday afternoon before I have to catch my flight back to Denver, Colorado later this evening. I’m currently…

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It’s the College Playoffs

Written on:April 4, 2016

Friends S2:E20 – Hey there, Mercedes Friends. How’s everyone doing this fine Monday afternoon? Let me say up front that I am having quite a hectic afternoon, myself, so today’s post just might make it into the running for shortest Friends 20/20 blog posts to date. No, don’t worry, everything is okay (you are so sweet for asking, though). I’m not in the middle of any kind of serious crisis….

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Oh Sweet Moses

Written on:March 28, 2016

Friends S2:E19 – Howdy, ladies and gents. Greetings and salutations to all on this fine Monday morning. I hope everyone had a hopping Easter weekend. (You see what I did there? Hopping, as in Easter Bunny.) Isn’t March Madness a great time of year? Besides college hoops, spring is in the air, flowers are blooming, and birds are chirping. On top of it all, amazingly enough, our time together is…

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Rock-paper-scissors

Written on:March 21, 2016

Friends S2:E18 – Jumpman, Jumpman, Jumpman, them boys up to something. They just spent like two or three weeks out the country. Them boys up to something, they just not just bluffing. We’ve been Spring Break chilling and hard to find, like woo. But now we’ve reemerged back on that Friends grind, like woo. And our squad just hit that Ginobilii on the Warriors hype, like woo. Ha, ha, yes!…

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Mr. Johnny New Eggs

Written on:February 22, 2016

Friends S2:E17 – What’s good, Friendsters? Welcome, welcome to another edition of theLeftAhead’s 236 part series Friends 20/20. We’re honored to have you and glad you could spare a few moments on this beautiful Monday to reminisce upon all of the hilarious hijinks of yet another episode of the GOAT sitcom. I can’t lie. As much progress as I’ve made this year at demonstrating my professionalism (as well as my…

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Can Open, Worms Everywhere

Written on:February 15, 2016

Friends S2:E16 – Aye, y’all heard about the good news? Y’all sleeping on me, huh? Had a good snooze? Wake up, Friendsters, wake up. We ’bout to get this paper. Aren’t you excited? Sure, it’s another Munday. But hey, at least there is new Kanye in the world. Granted, new Kanye that, in order to listen to it, you have to sign up for a 30 day free trial with…

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Australopithecus

Written on:February 8, 2016

Friends S2:E15 – And the Colorado Rocky Mountain high, I’ve seen it raining fire in the sky. You can talk to God and listen to the casual reply. Rocky Mountain high, Colorado. Rocky Mountain high? At this point, unfortunately, it’s more like Rocky Mountain Hangover, right Colorado? Nevertheless, how bout them Broncos? Congratulations are in order to all of the football fanatics currently residing in Broncos Country. What an impressive…

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You’re My Lobster

Written on:February 1, 2016

Friends S2:E14 – Howdy, cowgirls and cowboys. Long time, no see. (Considering that we last convened a short four days ago for the special Friends Super Bowl episode, let the record reflect that my previous statement was said in jest.) Regardless of proximity to our last encounter, it’s great to see all of you on this lovely Monday afternoon and let me also say Happy Iowa Caucus Day! If you’re…

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Get the Monkey Off Your Back

Written on:January 28, 2016

Friends S2:E12 & Friends S2:E13 – Hi there, girls and boys. Welcome to a special Thursday edition of Friends 20/20. You’re probably thinking that it’s rather unusual to be hearing from me on a day of the week other than Monday. After all, Friends episodes originally aired on NBC on Thursdays which means that 20 years later (after a few leap years), the day of the week that coincides with…

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Ball the Melon

Written on:January 18, 2016

Friends S2:E11 – Greetings, Friends Nation. Happy MLK Day! I hope everyone is enjoying an incredible three-day weekend. After mine started horribly (when I caught a bad case of food poisoning on Friday night), I’ve slowly been able to rally. I was out of commission for most of the past two days, but I had a tremendous time at my local MLK Day parade this morning and my afternoon is…

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Mendelevium

Written on:January 4, 2016

Friends S2:E10 – Good Monday, Friendsters and happy new year to each and every one of you. I hope everyone has shaken off the “returning to work” depression that probably set in last night after football ended (J-E-T-S…GO JETS!! Too soon?) and is having a productive first Monday of 2016. Personally, I’m happy to be back to work and I’m fired up to embark on another amazing year of writing…

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Hardball

Written on:December 14, 2015

Friends S2:E9 – Deck the blog because I’m a pop culture svengali, Fa la la la la la la la la, Tis the Season Two Christmas to be jolly, Fa la la la la la la la la. My goodness, it feels good to be back on the job this week. Welcome, welcome. I hope you’re as transfixed with the holiday spirit as I am this glorious Monday morning that,…

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Twelve Megabytes of Ram

Written on:November 16, 2015

Friends S2:E8 – Yo, what’s good my fellow Friendsologists? Happy Monday before the Monday before Thanksgiving! I’m tremendously excited that we are rapidly approaching the holiday season. After submitting the column today, I’ll be happily leaving the cozy confines of theLeftAhead offices to embark on a much needed cross-country vacation. After all, I have worked a whopping eight days so far this fall. With that type of workload, a month…

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Two Cats

Written on:November 9, 2015

Friends S2:E7 – Hey there, fellow humans. I hope this fine Monday evening finds you well. We have quite the Friends milestone to discuss this week. That’s right, you guessed it. Our long national nightmare is finally over. You can go ahead and mark it on the official score card. Ross and Rachel have finally kissed! Can you believe it? It only took 31 episodes (including one painfully long summer…

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From the Top

Written on:November 2, 2015

Friends S2:E6 – “There’ll be no strings to bind your hands, not if my love can’t bind your heart. And there’s no need to take a stand, for it was I who chose to start.” Is it just me, or have you also noticed that Angel of the Morning has been forever tattooed in your brain because of Friends. I find the song just randomly popping into my head, for…

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Killing Me Softly

Written on:October 19, 2015

Friends S2:E5 – Strumming my pain with his fingers (one time), singing my life with his words (two times). [I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking you want to complete that melody, aren’t you? It’s okay, you can keep going…] Ken Adams is killing me softly with his blog. Killing me softly with his blog. Telling my Friends life with his words, killing me softly with his blog. Thanks, valued…

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Nubbin

Written on:October 12, 2015

Friends S2:E4 – Howdy, ladies and gents. It’s that time again. That’s right. It’s the time in your week where I methodically give you a refresher on the inner workings of an episode of situational comedy that you first experienced twenty years ago. Every week I ask myself, “is this a necessary exercise?” I know the answer is most certainly no, yet you still flock here in droves week after…

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Crazy Snake Man

Written on:October 5, 2015

Friends S2:E3 – Hey there, Friendsters. Hope everyone’s week (and month, for that matter) is off to a fantastic start. As excited as I am to keep my streak of approaching this column with a positive attitude in tact, I must admit that I caught a case of The Mundays this morning. I rolled out of bed like, “Could today be any more Monday? Nevertheless, I fought through it and…

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Just Do It

Written on:September 28, 2015

Friends S2:E2 – Greetings, Pheobes and Pheobos. How is everyone doing this fine Monday evening? I’m having a splendid day if I do say so myself. (Thanks for asking.) As I reported last week, I’m no longer experiencing the dread of writing this column that had been an overwhelming burden for me last season. My new philosophy this year (for when there is a post to be written) is to…

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This Is Huge

Written on:September 21, 2015

Friends S2:E1 – Oh. My. God. It is such a thrill to be back for my second season blogging Friends for theLeftAhead. I’m back with renewed energy and a new attitude about the task at hand. Yep, gone are the negative disposition and lukewarm commitment of last season and here in their place are swimming pools full of Red Bull on the ready for serving an endless supply of energy…

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Start Looking

Written on:May 18, 2015

Friends S1:E24 – Buenas noches mis amigos y amigas. I hope everyone has had a spectacular Monday. I know it is somewhat bitter sweet for you to read this knowing that it is our final blog post of the season and our last opportunity to spend time together discussing Friends. But don’t fret. This is, after all, just a season finale and not a series finale. We will be back…

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